[Denied]Splitchris' Character, Atris' Application For Lotc

[Splitchris 11]

[b]Out-Of-Character Information[/b]
Please fill out the following questions as accurately as possible, and ensure the essential details are accurate.

Minecraft Account Name: Splitchris
How old are you?: 13
Time-Zone: GMT +1:00
Have you read, understood and agreed to the rules?: Yes.
What previous experience have you had in role-playing?: I have had about 6 months on another RP server.
How did you hear about the the Lord of the Craft?: Googling about and searching "Minecraft RP Servers" and such.
Link any applications that you have previously made for the server: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/71200-splitchris-5th-application/ http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/70743-deniedsplitchris-4th-application/

http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/70616-deniedsplitchris-3rd-application/

http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/70545-deniedsplitchris-application/

Please note, I am unable to find my first application. 

Have you posted this application on the Minecraft Forum? If not, then please do so (link above):
Have you read the Human lore, and shall you ensure you make use of it and follow it in your biography?:

 

Yes, I have posted this, without the screenshot to :http://www.minecraftforum.net/topic/832121-the-lord-of-the-craft-enter-the-world-of-anthos-officially-t-h-e-1-roleplay-server/page__st__3280__gopid__22907306#entry22907306

Definitions
In your own words define the following terms. Do not take any definitions from elsewhere!:

Role-playing:

 

 The act of roleplaying is living and controlling the life of another person or character in what can often be living in a magic and medieval world.

 

Meta-gaming:

 

The act of metagaming is knowing things your character could not know in any way. It can be knowing the name of someone before they tell you it as an example. Metagaming is also using info that you have received in say ooc chat or from a friend that plays on the same server for your character’s or any other’s own goods in character.

Power-emoting:

 

 Power-emoting is not giving everybody else a chance and overpowering your character, like saying Randomcharacter throws a sword at opponent and kills him the second the rppvping begins. It can also be giving your character abilities he never had, aswell.

In-Character Information:
Complete the following biography on your character:

Full Name: Tob Adem
Current Age: 20
Sub-race (if any): Southeron
Past / History (include childhood, major-events, etc. 2+ paragraphs long):
Ambitions for the Future:[/b]

 

Tob does not know but when he was born, his mother got serious back problems, forcing her to go away to the best doctors of Asulon. She was at last forced to search outside Asulon’s borders in which she was the victim of evil magic which made the grass look like fire and the mountains like giant waves, coming to get her. It eventually drove her mad and she walked off a cliff. His dad therefore raised Tob. He was tall and strong, with a yellow beard and hair. He taught Tob how to handle a weapon. They lived in a one-room apartment that was always dusty because Tob’s father was a man that never had time or experience in cleaning. There were two beds, one under the window and one right across from it, both were in dwarven iron from a friend of Tob’s dad. They were the most precious things they had. In the darkest corner there were always a sack of pillows that they used to sit on and a mouse named “Rasmus” that sometimes came out to see what they were doing, when he felt safe. Tob’s dad realized that it was a dangerous world and every Sunday he would take Tob out in the forest to try to learn him how to handle a sword. They started with learning how to hold it and how to hack and stab but Tob didn’t really get the hang of it until he was attacked by a pack of wolves on his way home. His dad took down three of the four wolves but when the last one jumped at Tob. His body reacted by pointing the sword right at the wolf, making it jump right into his own death. Tob had never killed anything before but this felt satisfying in a weird way. He had killed someone who would have killed him, something that is different that killing a defenseless animal. After this Tob got more motivation and every free afternoon with or without his dad he went into the woods to train his skills. He preferred killing wolves because they were predators, even though pigs and cows made good dinner. Tob has become pretty good at hunting but he hasn’t killed an intelligent form of life, like a human or any other race able to think. That’s a whole different level than hunting animals that just eat and sleep all day long. Tob’s dad was originally a farmer and he worked hard to pay for an education for Tob. So far everything was good, but as his wife didn’t come back, Tob’s dad started to get lonely and angry. One day a soldier knocked on the door and said that Tob’s dad had to join the humans in the war. Tob never really got any friends except a boy named James that he got to know a little when Tob ran the bets in the school-fighting tournament. James always placed small bets on which fighter his stomach told him to. James’ dad was also in the war and Tob had someone to talk to for a while. But then a day James was just gone. The teacher wouldn’t tell Tob anything because James had told her to. He had gone to live with his uncle in the north when his dad died. 

When Tob heard that his dad had died in war and that he was going to have to move to his uncle in the north he got very sad and he didn’t say a word for a month. His uncle was writing books and he was always home infront of his desk. Tob was used to living in a city and it was weird for him with all the open area and plants. Tob decided that he was against war because it had taken men and women from so many families, including his own. He had nothing to do all day and started taking long walks in the mountains. But one day it didn’t go as planned. Tob met a band of escaped prisoners that captured him and took all his belongings. They forced him to show them his uncle’s house so they had somewhere to stay for the night. After breakfast the next day they killed his uncle, took all his money and books and put the house on fire, leaving Tob alone in the middle of the forest. He wandered around for weeks living off what nature gave him, until he was also sucked into the chaos of the destruction of Asulus. He was sucked into this late, however because he was trying to find a way out of the vast forest. However, once he stumbled upon a settlement, they were all leaving for Anthon. He joined them and travelled to Anthon, which is his situation right now. He’s a 20 year old adult, hungry and looking to adventure and see the world, after having fled Asulon.
 

Personality:[/b]

 

Tob is a peaceful and caring man. He sets diplomacy and reasoning above war but will fight if he has to. Tob sets friendship highly and will try to make not so many friends, but instead become real good friends with those few friends, instead of making a low amount of half friends, half people he just knows. Tob also has a sense of adventure. even though he is not all that much courageous.

 

Skills:[/b]

 

Tob is an able swordsman and farmer and has reflected for long for himself, to try to learn diplomacy. He is also witty at times and will try to outsmart people, using words.

Appearance (this must include an in-game screenshot of your skin):[/b]
 

 Tob wears leather pants that he has camouflaged in dirt and grass to not be spotted by animals in the forest. He is a careful man and he uses therefore an iron armor chestplate if something should go wrong in a travel or he would be pulled into a fight. He also has a quiver with arrows on the back, even though his favorite weapon is the sword (Tob isn’t a man with a lot of money and arrows aren’t cheap). He has a white skin, big blue eyes, brown, messy hair and a normal nose that you wouldn’t say is special in anyway. He is proud of his hair and eyes and never wears a helmet (He says he can’t see anything and that he gets all sweaty). I will attach the file of my skin, but I don't know where it ends up.

 

Any other details you wish to share about your character:[/b]

 

Even though many things have changed since my character's application barely got rejected, I have tried to adapt the story to fit the new world and lore.

[b]Open-Response-Questions[/b]
[i]Each question in this section must be answered with a minimum of one paragraph which must describe the event in full. Please be as descriptive as possible and do not break character or lore at any point.[/i]

 

[b]1. Whilst in the mighty human capital you notice a dark-clothed figure stealthily making his way towards the Emperor’s palace - he is clearly up to no good. There are guards within shouting distance - what do you do?[/b]

Answer:

 

Tob noticed the cloaked man while admiring the Emperor's palace's beauty. He takes a quick look around and sees the guards haven't noticed. Tob is about to shout when he thinks... "If I shout he will try to kill me..." Tob takes a second look around, and starts walking towards the closest corner, past a house, then he sees the man is almost at the gate and shouts to the guards, thinking of what might happen to the emperor. The cloaked man immediately looks at him with a threatening look. Realizing that he's put himself in danger, Tob turns around and sprints for his life, all the courage he had to shout, vanished.


[b]2. Whilst wandering in the deep oak forest you come across a large clearing, in which sits a small cobbled cottage. Outside it stands an unstable old man armed with a small iron blade, surrounded by two heavily armed bandits - they appear to be threatening him. You are armed with leather armour and an iron longsword, how do you react?[/b]

Answer: 

 

Tob immediately ducks into a bush to not be seen. He knows the old man will lose, anyone can see that. Tob knows he should help but... but... is that old man's life really worth his life? Even though Tob is an able sword man, he won't beat those two brutes. "The old man has lived a long life, hopefully a good life..." he mumbles to himself, as he sneaks off and takes one last look at the old man, pity in his eyes.


[b]3. You are standing within the mighty human capital when you notice a small man standing behind a colourful stall. You approach the stall and notice that the man is selling a variety of general goods - he says that he is selling just about anything and that he has no set prices. He is willing to allow you to haggle and choose prices. What do you do? (Explain: your haggling, items of choice and the discussion that happens).[/b]

Answer:  

 

Tob takes a look at the booth and takes a look at a well sharpened iron sword. He then says.. "How much is this?" the man answers (i do not know how much this is supposed to be worth so...) "5 gold bars" Tob looks at his pocket, he only has 3 gold... Then he gets and idea. He takes a flower pot with his other hand, still holding the sword, and asks the same question. "10 iron" he then starts to haggle. "That is ridiculously much! Anyone can see this is made for cheap flowers, no paintings on it or anything!" "This, I found in an old fort here! Old quality, so 'tis!" and so on... meanwhile... Tob has snuck the iron sword from before away from the man's view, behind his back, while he continues haggling. "8 iron at most!" "9 and a gold nugget and I'll give you the plant as well!" Behind his back, he takes out his dagger and starts scraping the sharp edge of the sword, making it blunt. After 5 minutes of this he screames, "Enough! I will not have your vase! I will have this sword, and I will have it for 3 gold!" The man laughs. I already told you, it's 5 gold, it's of the finest quality! Dwarf iron, so 'tis." Tob then smartly responds. "Really? Then how come it's blunt?" And proudly shows off the sword, trying to cut his arm. The man, perplexed, "But.. wha..?" Tob uses the confusion to smack down the 3 gold and walk away while the man is still in shock. He will surely find a blacksmith that will resharpen it for much less than the 2 gold he spared.

[cruzazul 2815]

 

Unfortunately your application has been denied. Here are some things that need to be improved if you are wanting to reapply.

 

Try to keep your biography from being a wall of text. Space it out a bit. This isn't a reason for denial but it will make it much easier to read in future situations.

 

We live in Anthos now. We left Asulon about 12 in game years ago. Try to add your character's time in Anthos to the biography.

 

I would also like to see more lore in the bio. You name Asulon but I never saw any specific towns named within it. You can find this information on our wonderful lore page above.

 

Expand on your first and second ORQs and add some more dialogue throughout the answers.

 

Please wait 24 hours from this denial before reapplying. If you have any questions don't be afraid to send me a message.

[cruzazul 2815]

Moved to Denied Forum