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currently not feeling too great, huge problems to do with stress I think, pain down all my sides and check, headaches, cough, blocked nose, sore throat and paranoid that I'm having a heart attack every five minutes... I think I'm slowly killing myself with paranoia... Although I don't think LOTC is the route of my stress... in fact it helps to calm me down. I don't think a healthy human mind can live like this... I think I'll arrange an appointment with my doctor.
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This is partly my fear, and what I'm paranoid of, a death that I have no say in and cannot avoid which comes back again and again to remind me of mortality. I'm not scared of dying old old age, I'm scared of dying in a way in whic I have no say in and leave things unfinished. This is part of my stress issue.