Raska... Janehsi thought as she stumbled towards Karakatua. The name kept on going through her mind, repeating endlessly as the image of him that she would never see again was burned into her mind. She had lost everything a few days ago. Her sight, her voice, her hearing, her teeth... she was literally crawling towards the docks.
How much could change in a few days, she thought as she continued, the telltale feel of wood under her paws... or what she thought was wood. She could barely feel anything anymore. She didn’t even know what was real or what was in her mind. Like what the voices were...
Would she survive this? Would she die? Would... would her family know of her death, or would she pass unnoticed... unwanted..? She had done a good job on the surviving part, she could feel. But she was so tired... so sleepy. NO! she screamed at herself mentally, forcing herself to continue.
To a passerby, she looked like a bandaged kha; her eyes covered by a piece of cloth, mouth forced shut, cuts bandaged on her arms and legs, the bandages on her feet and hands were bloody from the stumps of where her two missing fingers and toes were... She had little dignity at this point. Her torturers... her kidnappers made sure of that.
What once there was pride, power, strength, there was little more than a shade... a shadow of her former self.
As she neared the boat, she could feel people gawking at her. ‘Hey, look at that thing, what is it?’ she could think them asking as she tried to get on the boat. She hated apes now more than any other time in her life.
But that wasn’t important now, the important thing was her getting home... and she needed it badly.
Crawling onto the island, she worked her way towards the tavern, dragging herself up the stairs until she stopped at the top. She was so tired... maybe it she laid down she’d feel better. Yes... that sounded very inviting... So, she did just that. Just as she laid there, her mind was plagued with thoughts of her kittens, her metz'al seeing her this way. She... she couldn't deal with it.
She tried to hide herself as best as she could, shivering and sobbing as she lay on the floor of the tavern... wanting only quiet... no memories of anyone... anything.