AlphaMoist

My mom told me the worst april fools joke ever...

 

   Begin of story
Mom calls
Me: Hello?
Mom: Hey son, what are you up to?
Me: Nothing much, just laying down.
Mom: I called you a few days ago, why didn't you call back?
Me, checking my call history: Oh dang, I don't think I got it, I am so sorry!
Mom: It's fine. I called because I need your input on something..
Me: Oh. Um, okay.. What is it about?
 Silence
Me: Mom?
 sniffles can be heard
Mom: Well, your grandpa (her step dad) came over the day before I called with a twelve pack of beer and told me he had something to ask me.
Me, confused as hell: What could he have wanted to ask you?
 

  Intermission
 My grandma has really really bad dementia so I immediately assumed, for some reason, that papa was asking my mom if he should have her sent to a home, or even maybe mercy killed. Her dementia is so bad that she can't talk anymore and needs to be constantly watched, which my grandpa does. He takes care of her everyday, day and night. He gets very lonely, and even though it is obvious that he loves her to death, for some reason I can see him wanting to put her out of her misery.
  Back to reality up there goes gravity
 

Mom, after stifling what I thought were sniffles: He asked me to marry him.
Me, absolutely taken back: What? So like, you can benefit from his life insurance when he dies? (I did not say the last part outloud.)
Mom: Well, he came in, sat down, gave me a beer, and asked me to marry him.
Me: Like, what did he say? How did he ask you?
Mom: He said that he just couldnt take being alone with mom anymore and that he had been hiding his feelings for quite some time now.. He said he just couldnt take it anymore and wanted to be with me..
Me, absolutely befuddled and creeped the **** out: Was.. Was he drunk?
Mom: No.. He had one beer and that was it..
Me: That is super weird mom.
Mom: I know.. I know..
Me: Like, that is beyond creepy..
 

  Intermission
 At this point i begin to think about all the creepypastas I have listened to about the crazy lover who couldnt have who he wanted and ended up killing who he couldnt have. I was legit beginning to fear for my mothers safety.
 Oh, There goes rabbit, he choked hes so mad, but he wont give up that easy
 

Mom: I know, I know.. I don't know what to do..
Me: I am really... I dont know what to say..
Me, randomly looking at the time, sees the date, begins to get crazy with realization: IS THIS A FREAKING APRIL FOOL'S JOKE????
Mom, bursting with laughter: YES!!! I GOT YOU SO ******* GOOD!!!
Me, in terrible shock: THAT WAS NOT OKAY! I WAS WORRIED PAPA FINALY WENT FREAKING SENILE!!! WHY MOM WHY??
Mom: Because it was funny!! I got you so good, man you wont believe how long it took for me to come up with that one!!!
Me: You are crazy!! You are so crazy!! 
Mom, still cracking up with laughter: At least I didnt say someone died!!!!!!!!!
Me: Oh my gosh mom!! You sounded so serious!!
Mom: I had to take the phone away from my mouth so you wouldn't hear me laugh!! I got you~
Me: I.. I am still in absolute shock..
Mom: I love you baby! Stay safe, sorry for scaring you so much!! I'm going to let you go now, bye!
Me, still befuddled as to what just happened: Yah.. Love you too.. Bye mom..
Mom hangs up.
  End of story

 YOU BETTER LOSE YOURSELF IN THE MUSIC, IN THE MOMENT YOU OWN IT, YOU BETTER NEVER LET IT GO YOU ONLY GET ONE SHOT, DO NOT MISS YOUR CHANCE TO BLOW THIS OPPORTUNITY COMES ONCE IN A LIFETIME