Fax To Grool

[Cracker 4570]

Mood Music:

 

Jahrmann the gay Orc looked over to his dying father Blak, son of Jarzun. 

 

"Me kubbie, me wub to give lat something before me flat...lat must protect it, me gay kubbie Jahrmann" muttered the ailing elder Blak, lain astrewn across a traditional Orcish rug in the city of Gronkkston.

 

"Pops what am I supposed to protect?" said the gay orc flamboyantly licking the outer cracks of his sandy lips

 

"Dis land over yonder, dah Fort lived in by dorf, conquered by dorf scum in year 1410 is the land me inherit from me popo, and me popo's popo. Me wub latz tu protekt it. It is a beautiful castle, very strong."

 

"Dad you have to tell me what this fort is called"

 

"It am dah Ugluk Fort, but dorf have invade and named it Kal'Ithurn after they am occupy it...Me wub latz to hold unto dis, me kubbie, keep diz key wid latz. When kebab return to take back dah fort, lat uze dah key to get me diamonds! Am these are dah proof det da chest is mine, gay orc Jahrmann!"

 

"Make sure latz nub give up to da land, Jahrmann!"

 

"Don't worry dad I'll do my best..." he says licking his sandy lips

 

"Knucka me feel tired...me feel me am to flat...me feel close to da home of Ugluk fort...please protect it.." were Blak's last words, as he collapsed in the desert heat.

 

Jahrmann's tears flooded like sunny D delight, he could not hold them back, he was very sad. In his head a million thoughts raced in his head. He cried like the gay Orc he was....

 

"Father trusted me with the key to the Ugluk Fort but how can I liberate my homeland from the filthy criminal thieving dwarfs who killed daddy blak and all of my sodomite friends?" cried out Jahrmann over the corpse of Blak, licking his sandy tears

 

"Krug give me strength!"

 

But as Jahrmann mourned the loss of his father the dwarves attacked...they came out from nowhere, like the fruity sensation of gushers. Jahrmann was captured in moments, subdued by their shrewd ways

 

Jahrmann awoke in a room, his hands tied as he looked eye to eye to none other than Davern Frostbeard

 

"What do you want Gummi? Why am I here!?"

"Sit down meh dear sodomite" licked Davern Frostbeard as his lips begin to crack

"I can't sit down I'm all tied up dude"

"Sit down......Jahrmann t'e gay ORQ" roared Davern

"Okay I'll sit down. What do you want!?"

Davern coughed a little but thankfully he had some Robotussin available so what he did next was despicbale.

 

"Tell meh Jahrmann we 'ave 'eard reports t'at your pa Blak'Gorkil gave you keys to locked chests in t'e Ugluk Fort along wit' proof that you own it." he muttered, rubbing his hands gingerly

"How you know man?" Orc Jahrmann

"T'at nae matter ya man-loving uruk! Nune yer buisnes who told us...but what we dorves need is access to dem chests, aye?"

"But Blak trusted me this to liberate the motherland from dwarven clutches! When it is freed we shall all live there joyous and free. He never said to give it to your hands..."

Davern's lips begin to lick.

"But Jahrmann we will give you lots of iron...made by my friends Gorum and Bael very nice...we will buy t'e key of course, har har!"

"No! I won't take your duped dwarf-iron! Good kebab don't sell their land to terrorists!"

"JAHRMANN!" squeaked Davern, losing his patience, his lips cracking. "Give us the documents.."

"Never! I'd rather suffer than betray my father and the non-gay orcs!"

"JAHRMANN!" Davern squeaked louder than ever, almost crashing the walls of the teamspeak room.

"NEVER!!"

"Give us t'e KEY!" Davern took out his battleaxe and began to swing at Jahrmann, his voice cracking and lips while he roared 

 

Jahrmann's last memory before the axe connected was playing ball in the Ugluk Fort, now called Storm's Crossing or Kal'Ithurn by the dwarves, with his father, before the dwarves invaded....

 

___________________

 

Orcs hear this story and react

[Haribo 385]

dat video tho

[Shadeleaf 1022]

[Birdwhisperer 1174]

Moved to the Great Library. It shall be sorted into appropriate category shortly.