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Looking for Mercenaries

 

Normal version

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Are you a disgruntled peasant?

An out of work knight?

Or grizzled war vet?

Do you long for or miss the pleasures of combat?

Do you have loose or a strong lack of morals?

Is there a burning sensation when you pee?

Do you want less authority in your life?

Ever wanted to just attack someone for no reason?

 

If you answered yes to any of these questions then the Sons of the North is the place for you!

 

Stop by Drakenburgh castle And we can get you initiated today!

 

(( message professorus on the forums or in-game for more info ))

 

Fancy pants version

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Doth you not have enough minas for your crumpets and tea?

Hath you ever been a knight of the realm?

Hath you ever provided military service?

Doth you wish to engage in quarrels and altercations?

Doth you possess airs and graces beyond your colleagues?

Hath you a sizzling tingle in your nether regions?

Doth you not care for the politics and mastery of king or country?

Hath you ever the wish to use a sword in an aggressive manner on a lesser man?

 

Then it is your prerogative to deliver oneself directly to Drakenburgh castle where you will become part of a noble family entitled the Sons of the North

 

 

Badass version

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Are ye a FOOKIN loser who does HOMO SHET like farm and SHET!?!?

Be ye a  metal FOOKIN BASTARD who has like SWORDS FIR GODDAMNED ARMS OR SOMETHING!?!?

Or be ye a FOOKING BADASS MOTHERFOOKER who killed MAMA SUCKLERS on the field of GODDAMN battle!?!?

Do ya really wanna jus FAWKIN REKK some poor FOOKS day? Like really jes FOOK em in the FOOKIN FOOKHOLE!?

Do ye nay care fer that high-minded morals en SHIET and jes RIP OUT SOME DUDES SPINE!?

Do ye MANHOOD burn with a GOD DAMNED awful fury, like really does et feel like IBLEES ES GIVEN YA AH HANDY HISSELF?!

Do ye wanna rip the FOOKIN COCK HEAD of ah every GODDAMNED FOOKIN gaurds FOOKIN FAT FACE with yer GODDAMN teeth?!

Did ye ever want to grip the FOOKIN strong shaft of ye GODDAMNED SHIETTY ASS sword and SENSUALLY STAB ANOTHER MAN WITH IT right en his SHETTERHOLE!?

 

FAWKIN GOD FOOK I AM SO GODDAMNED HARD RIGHT NOW!!!! GET YOUR GODAMNED ARSE OVER HERE TO DRAKENBURGH RIGHT FOOKIN NOW!!! GET ON THIS FOOKIN SHIET YOU PLOUGHIN MOTHER FOOKER!!! WE'RE THE SONS OF THE GODDAMN FOOKIN NORTH!!!! HOLY ORK TITTIES I AM SO EXCITED!!!

 

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The last one made you seem very homosexual, not that there is anything wrong with that.

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what if i enjoy being a homo shet?

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what if i enjoy being a homo shet?

 

then you would answer no.

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'Tom', leader of the Company of the Wolf, spits onto the floor hearing about this make shift band of Brigands.

 

"Bah! These are no /real/ mercenaries. What a joke."

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Moved to the Great Library. It shall be sorted into appropriate category shortly.

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