Kalenzizzles Final Form

[1 1393]

In the year 2312 of Athera an expedition crew uncovers a strange art within the High Elven ancient city:

Under the art lays a large caption:

"I say without hesitation dat tha mali'aheral shall follow they ideal of progress n' game until time melts tha **** into a strang of events so long n' so a shitload of dat tha meanin of time itself is forgotten. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Well shiiiit, it is fo' but merely half a cold-ass lil century dat I did guide our Blessed Kindred, seekin first ta lift our asses up from our moment of top billin sadnizz afta tha betrayal of tha vile Alfakyn n' then ta help our asses reach freshly smoked up heights".

 

Kalenz shifts, brushin a speck of dirt from his coat before continuing.

 

"Forget not, dear elvez of Haelun'or, dat shiznit was I whoz ass struck "Steel upon Wood" n' repelled tha elvez of Malinor whoz ass wished ta strangle our chicken supply, dat shiznit was I whoz ass forged tha Concordat of Crimson-Silver n' dat shiznit was I whoz ass wrought our asses a unitizzle of elven kind not peeped since tha minutez of Malinor up in Aegis."

 

Kalenz smilez wickedly afta all dis bullshit.

 

"It aint cuz tha bortu truly believe I have committed crimes dat they scorn me, it aint cuz tha mali'ame truly be thinkin I be mad dat they curse me- Nae, it is cuz they wish ta keep our pimped kind weak- At they knees n' constantly beset wit liberal leadaz so dat they can chill easily knowin dat when they bust a cap up in a mali'aheral on tha road there shall be no reprisals. Passive elves n' passive leaders- I do not condone these thangs".

 

"Let me be clear n' concise, Lil Pimpz of Silver, there is no room fo' dem up in dis ghetto whoz ass seek ta cause our asses harm. There is no room fo' dem playas whoz ass seek ta slit our throats up in our chill n' peep our asses fall silently from grace n' tha **** into despair. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Well shiiiit, it is tha wood elves whoz ass do dis ta our asses now: Seekin ta undermine tha straight-up fabric of our society. Well shiiiit, it is therefore dat I say nae biaaatch! Strike tha wood elf up in his home n' leave his ass wit tha reminder dat tha Lil Pimpz of Silver is not ta be trifled wit upon a whim. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Strike steel not upon wood as our crazy asses have up in tha past yo, but upon tha flesh n' bone of tha elves whoz ass declared genocizzle against our asses but twelve short muthafuckin years ago."

 

"Da lil pimpz of tha Wood have struck us, n' we shall strike back. Well shiiiit, it is thus I declare mah candidacy fo' Sohaer: Permit me ta lead mah Blessed Kindred as I have done up in tha past. To lead our asses ta tha glory n' peace of ages past."

 

With dat tha illusionist would bow, before utterin wit a whisper before his wild lil' fuckin exit:

 

"kaean'leh evareh, malii'Larihei".

 

 

 

And another piece:

 

High above tha ghettoz of Leyulin n' Haelun’or tha once Sohaer, Kalenz Uradir, gazes down upon tha ghettoz of tha elves. Most gangstas have long ago fallen asleep, they everyday toil now punctuated by tha on tha down-low of chill. Though, some lights still remained on, flickerin up in tha night, as one or two elves decided it apt ta work all up in tha night. Dat shiznit was oddly on tha fuckin' down-low, particularly given tha chaos n' blood spilt of tha last two days- Da on tha down-low unnerved tha high elf.

 

"Silence is fo' a time when tha just rest. Justice has not been exacted upon dem yet."

 

Dude held a pill, scribin some yet-unknown text upon a elegant lookin piece of parchment yo. Dude gazed down once more, there was a gangbangin' finger-lickin' disturbizzle up in tha night- Somethang had spooked tha Evarir’thilln below- Perhaps a funky-ass bat, biatch? A bird, biatch? A real intruder, biatch? Dat shiznit was irrelevant ta him, tha intrudaz would not linger long.

 

"Seek not tha solace of silence, fo' silence do not protect."

 

Dude swiftly penned a gangbangin' final quill stroke before risin from his seat, movin ta cross tha chamber n' make his way ta tha exit fo' realz. As da ruffneck do so he glances one final time ta tha ghettos below, scowlin coldly at Leyulin:

 

"I regret not our path: They reap what tha **** they sow".

 

And another:

 

Once again n' again n' again tha Gilded eyez of tha mali’ame was seen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Once again n' again n' again tha Ivory was plucked from they cribs amongst tha laid back towerz of Leyulin n' brought ta justice fo' they role up in representin' tha cursed elf.

 

Upon tha road five Sillumir descended upon one, Eleron by name tha misfortunate elf whoz ass would find his dirty ass subject ta da most thugged-out wicked of tha guildings yet.

 

Bludgeoned upon tha head tha elf was dragged ta tha highest tower up in Haelun’or, his wild lil' fuckin eyes n' body coated up in molten gold ta mark his cursed rank within Laureh’lin, his body tossed from tha tower n' shiznit yo. Dude flew all up in tha air before landin up in a cold-ass lil crowd of ten elvez of Laureh’lin, landin wit a funky-ass bloody thud.

 

To tha elvez of tha Ivory, a letta make its way:

 

Abandon yo' post. Cease yo' protection of tha cursed Camoryn, Phaedrus n' Elorna n' you shall find only peace. 

 

Six had been gilded ta date. Da Hunt continued.

 

And another!

 

Sillonn n' Caedwyn, tha unlucky elvez of tha Wretched Brood of Camoryn had been chosen by chizzle n' dat shiznit was luck dat was not on they side upon dis frightful elven day. It make me wanna hollar playa! From Haelun'orz grand plateau they tumbled, they eyes filled wit now solid gold poured upon dem by tha Grievin Swordsman- Representin they cursed ways n' views. Their eyes now as blind as tha ideologizzle tha elves clung ta so dearly fo' realz. As they tumbled, Ibar Izalith would utta but a single phease up in elven before they landed wit a cold-ass lil cold thud, still kickin it, tortured by they wounds:

 

"kaean'leh evareh, elakaln'Camoryn".

 

Form above tha silver elf cried:

 

"Let dis stand as a lesson ta all whoz ass aid up in Camoryns protection of tha genocidal filth below, Phaedrus n' Elorna, all whoz ass protect tha murderous Nienna Calm n' Relgard Sintel, tha culture-decayer Titania Hawksong, all whoz ass protect tha nation-killa n' murderer Artimec Camoryn amongst others whoz ass protect other undesirables- Yo crazy-ass minutes stand numbered so long as you stand wit tha Wretched Elf. Da blight dat is Camoryn must be purged, n' dem playas whoz ass defend his ass shall receive tha same fate as he".

 

"Stand down n' permit our asses ta restore order ta yo' kind n' purge tha filth, n' you shall receive not a god damn thang but kindness. Resist n' defend tha murderous scum n' receive not a god damn thang but tha ire of tha Lil Pimpz of Silver n' they allies. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! We seek only tha elves whoz ass cause our asses harm n' ta restore order ta tha wayward elvez of Laureh'lin- For we shall never stoop ta tha level of tha wicked Phaedrus n' his brood. Y'all KNOW dat ****, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! We offer help, not harm".

 

"Denounce tha vile Camoryn, extend tha filth onto our asses n' allow Haelun'or ta right tha wrongz of muthafuckin years past".

 

Da hunt continued.

 

 

 

No hard feelings Supremacy, this is just a joke.

 

[KarmaDelta 969]

You're still not cool.

[1 1393]

 

You're still not cool.

 

[Rael 935]

didnt they already do this

[Tirenas 677]

didnt they already do this

yeah it was funny the first time we did it over teamspeak and now it's just over-used.

[Samson Option 9652]

At this point I've become Professor X with how badly damaged my neck is from cringing.

[monkeypoacher 8055]

"I still don't understand"

 

Mikael's ghost shakes his head

[Heff 2460]

 

 

 

jk nice meme better lvck next time friend

[Gunner 775]

Moved to the Archive. It shall be sorted into the appropriate category shortly.