Cooking with Cannibalism: A Frost Witch Cookbook

[fighting evil by moonlight 455]

 

Photo Source

 

A pair of women sat at a small table in a breakfast nook, hidden away in a small, secluded cabin. They both had teacups in front of them, but only one woman was interested in tea.

 

“Elle, I have a question,” a white-haired, glowing blue-eye’d woman inquired.

 

The brunette woman's brows lifted briefly as she reached out to the kettle.  Slowly, she removed the top and peeked at the contents.  

"...Okay, before that, is this... y'know, safe?"

 

"It's chamomile!"  The other woman cooed, clearly oblivious to what the brunette meant.

 

"Oh, wonderful.  Close second to the best tea in the realm."  She promptly moved the cup to her lips.  "Ah, you always make such good tea," she'd remark upon drinking.  "..Anyway, what's troubling you?"

 

"It's sort of tea related, actually…  Elle, what’s it like to taste things?”

 

~~~

 

A cookbook was created soon after, filled from cover to cover with various recipes.  Only around a dozen were created, mostly distributed to the witches who needed them most.  Somehow, though, one was left on a table in the middle of a bustling city…

 

Below is an excerpt.

 

 

 

Cooking with Cannibalism

A Frost Witch Cookbook

 

Preface

 

All gore has been omitted from this book.  If you’re unsure of how to prepare ingredients, please contact your mother for a proper lesson on butchering.  

Safety of Cooking

 

Remember to always wear oven mitts when cooking near heat.  In the event that your skin does burn, apply ice as quickly as possible and bandage once the pain has subsided.

 

 

Table of Contents:

 

1. Stock of Man

2. Blood Bisque

3. Male Gelato

4. Porcini-Rubbed Roast

 

(the recipes continue for several pages)

 

~

 

Stock of Man

((original recipe))

 

Put bones in a pot and cover them with water by about an inch. Simmer on very low heat for 2-6 hours. You should just see a few bubbles here and there, a little movement in the liquid, and bit of steam over the pot. Add more water if the bones start to become exposed.

Peel and roughly chop all of your vegetables.  Use as much as you think you need.

Skim off any foam or film that has floated to the top of the stock. This isn't strictly necessary, but it will make your stock look and taste more clean.

Add the vegetables and herbs. Add more water if necessary to cover. Simmer for another hour or two at the same heat.

Strain the stock to separate out the solid pieces. Discard the solids. (If you'd like a clearer broth, strain it again through cheesecloth.)

Let the stock cool.

 

~

 

Blood Bisque

((original recipe))

 

Melt the butter in a large pan, once melted add the flour, a pinch of salt and pepper and the paprika. Stir well.

Slowly whisk in the blood, followed by the stock of man, the white wine, and continue stirring until it’s smooth and slightly thickened to a cream-like consistency. This stirring can take several minutes but spending the time at this stage of the bisque is critical to the success of the dish.

Be careful not to let the mixture boil as this may cause the bisque to curdle.

Add the onion, the carrots and simmer (again, do not boil) for 10 minutes. Add the cooked, cubed meat and stir. Taste the bisque and adjust the seasoning to your liking.

Stir in the wine and finally, the cream. Heat through until piping hot.

Remember to cool thoroughly before eating.

 

~

 

Male Gelato

((original recipe))

 

In a saucepan, warm the blood over medium heat until it just starts to bubble around the edge (no need to bring it to a boil). Remove from the heat and reserve.

In a large mixing bowl, beat the egg yolks and sugar together until the mixture is thick and creamy. Slowly pour in one ladleful of the hot blood into the egg mixture. Slowly pour in the rest of the mixture and beat until the blood is well incorporated.

Pour the blood and egg mixture back into the saucepan  and place over medium-low heat and cook, stirring constantly, until the custard coats the back of a wooden spoon.

Remove from the heat. Let it cool to room temperature, then keep cool for a few hours (in your cave), or preferably overnight so the flavor infuses fully.

Pour the custard through a fine mesh strainer into a bowl. Continually stir as you freeze the mixture.. Stop when the gelato is icy but still soft.

Transfer the gelato to an airtight container and freeze until firm. The gelato will keep, frozen, for up to two weeks. Always take the gelato out to room temperature 10 to 15 minutes before serving to soften it and make it easier to scoop.

 

~

 

Porcini-Rubbed Roast

((original recipe))

 

On a cutting board, add the porcini mushrooms, peppercorns, red pepper, garlic and sugar and cut until uniform and slightly fine. Add the salt and mix until incorporated.

Rub the entire roast with the porcini rub, wrap in cloth and let it sit in a frost cave overnight.

Position a wire rack over a baking sheet.  Heat a large skillet.

Add the oil and sear each side of the roast until browned, about 3 minutes a side.

Transfer the roast to the prepared baking sheet and roast 1 hour 15 minutes to 1 hour 45 minutes. Shut off the oven and leave the roast in there another 30 to 45 minutes. Let rest for 15 minutes.  

Thinly slice the roast and serve with any collected juices.

 

~

OOC note:

Spoiler

This probably wouldn’t work in real life.  Just a fun little flavor RP post!!

 

Also, thank you to @gab for playing Elle in the first bit and for helping me think of elegant terms to put in the cookbook.

 

Also, the forums are randomly bolding/unbolding sections of this post without letting me change it.  Sorry!

 

 

 

 

[dm420 186]

how nice

[gab 163]

Elle reads through the book to the best of her ability, not understanding a good third of it due to a lack of culinary knowledge.

She'd thoroughly support her friend despite such.

 

"Err-- a job well done, Cela!"

[_SteelMemes_ 64]

Iralee immediately sets about cooking all of the dishes listed in her newly acquired cookbook!

[Man of Respect 5471]

"I'm really terrified about this disgusting title. How can you call it cannibalism if its just like eating animals?" asks Eath'Lur as he browses through the book "Disgusting..."

[Eurielle 1189]

"Ya know," Pondered Dunstan. "I wonder if frosties have to worry about Kuru..."

[Sander 3312]

"Good Lord, tha's horrible... Ya bettah not, Eletha..." Gilondir mutters rather disgusted.

[zaezae 1098]

A moody dark elf taps her fingers as she awaits the wife's cooking.

[Fawb 557]

Moved to The Great Library. It shall be sorted into the appropriate category shortly.

 

If you feel this is a mistake, please contact myself or any FM and we'll restore it.