[Clan Lak] LAKISH INTERROGATION METHODS

[Boomzerang 515]

 

 

LAKISH INTERROGATION

 

 

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PREFACE

THIS IS A CONFIDENTIAL DOCUMENT, OVERSEEN BY NAME REDACTED  AND APPROVED UNDER THE RULERSHIP OF SWAMPGOTH NAME_REDACTED’LAK. SHOULD IT BE FOUND OUTSIDE THE GRASP OF CLAN LAK, THE INFORMATION LEAK WILL BE PLUGGED, AND THE PERPETRATOR WILL BE DISCOVERED AND EXECUTED IMMEDIATELY.

 

Frûm ulmakhizishu || Spirits with us

 

001-812-1655

 

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PRESENTOR’S TRANSCRIPTION

 

“Start writin’. Ready?”

“You ‘ave been chosen to be ‘ere, among GROUP REDACTED  for a reason - you‘ve proven yourselves devoted to the goals of CLAN LAK and its members. We’re a load o’ da zealest zealots dis generation o’ descendants ‘as ever seen - and I intend to remind da lot o’ dem o’ dat.

“Now, dis -”
Start drawin’ -
“- Dis is what I likes to call, ‘Da Stretcher’.”
 

 

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DA STRETCHER

 

[PICTURED: Exemplary ‘Stretcher’ in action]

 

“Anyone got a guess for what dis skah ‘ere does?”

INCOHERENT MUMBLES

“Exactly. Dis is used on da HUMANS and ELVES dat like keepin’ their mouths closed ‘bout who dey worship, and who’s worshippin’ who. Set ‘em here, pull dem levers and watch ‘em scream. You’ll be gettin’ da info out o’ dem in no time!”

 

“What if they don’t squeal, you’re askin’? Well - dat’s when we stop ‘em from talkin’, an’ bring ‘dese out!”
A quill begins scratching against parchment
“Dis is what I called, ‘Da Chinholda’’. Invention o’ my own.”

 

 

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DA CHIN-HOLDA’

 

[PICTURED: Correct position of a ‘Chinholda’]

 

A SLAVE IS PRESENTED, ONTO WHICH THE DEVICE IS ATTACHED

 

“And now, he can’t talk, ‘else dis skah digs into ‘is neck.”

GRUNTS OF DISCOMFORT FROM THE CROWD; QUIET MUTTERING

 

“Mhrm, he can’t speak with dis on. What’s da use in dat when we’re tryin’ ta make ‘em speak, you’re askin’? Well, he can’t speak - or lower ‘is head, or do anythin’, really. Dat’s how we get ‘em - just wait ‘till they break, and they’ll give us all da info we need! They’ll start speakin’ eventually.”

 

“Now, it’s a rare thing, dat HUMANS don’t start speakin’ at dis point - they’s not as tough as us Orks. But for those DESCENDANTS dat think they’s tough, we keep one o’ dese around.”
 

 

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DA GOBSTOPPA’

 

[PICTURED: Gobstoppa in the half-open position]

 

“This ‘ere - this is what we do when dem heretics don’t like speakin’. Shove one o’ dese in deir gobs, and start turnin’ da ring. Dis ain’t a last resort to get answers, dis is how we send da message to start talkin’ more often to ‘em. Just keep turnin’, and turnin’, and turnin’. Soon ‘nough, deir jaw drops off!”

 

CACKLING, FOLLOWED BY GRUNTS FROM THE CROWD

 

“Dat’s when we send ‘em back home, so their friends know what ‘appens when dey don’t squeal to our boys!”

A FINAL WHEEZE

 

 

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DA BURNIN’ UGLUK


[PICTURED: An assortment of orcish slaves load an unlucky human into a ‘Burnin’ Ugluk’]

“And here we are - almost at the end.”

A CONTRAPTION IS WHEELED IN

“Dis here’s what I call, ‘Da Burnin’ Ugluk’. Don’t use these too often - mostly ‘cause all da HUMANS die from da Gobstoppa. But if someone’s bein’ ‘specially quiet, or they’ve seen too much, this here’s just as good an alternative ta’ other executions. Stick ‘em in dat hatch there, lock ‘em up tight, and set a fire underneath ‘em. Da screamin’, and da steam that comes from the nostrils sounds just like da old Ugluk’s beasts. Makes dem HUMANS take their time dyin’ ta’ reflect on their mistakes.”

A FEW DRY CHUCKLES FROM THE AUDIENCE - SWAMPGOTH NAME REDACTED’LAK’s cackles fill the room

“So, what d’you all say? Time for some inquiring?”

CHEERS FROM THE AUDIENCE

“Kill da transcr-”

 

 

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Frûm Ulmakhizishu

[Novastral 582]

((Please don’t unironically use Redacted stereotype.))

[PraiseTheLord 868]

Krukleyd’Raguk scans over the paper’s pictures, chortling with imaginative perception as he is unable to read. Nontheless, he notes; “Hosh.”

[HedgeHug 2049]

“Gib dem half ahn hour wif mi.” Mutters Shagarath. “Dey ahlwayz blah”

[J33xt101 316]

Balrog picks up the paper, studying it for a while before nodding, the great cogs in his head begin turning before he takes it and continues on his way while a smile spread across his face.

[osumanduas 1442]

Moved to The Great Library. It shall be sorted into the appropriate category shortly.

 

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