The Breaking Brandybrook News!

[NotEvilAtAll 10906]

Spoiler

 

[!] A newspaper is shoved into your face by some weirdo midget

The Breaking Brandybrook!

~The Halflings of Brandybrook gather near The Toady Traveler Tavern!~

Lo t'ere everybody! T’is oi, Daisy Applefoot, here with a newspaper that contains nuffin’ but the REAL FACTS about Arcas!

Contents:

~Brandybrook is STILL the best place in all of Arcas!

~Toady Traveler Tavern’s Happy Hour Drinking Contest ends in a tie!

~Karaoke night in Brandybrook! 

~Source of the Dinkle River located!

~Talking stone found in Brandybrook!

~River Festival planned to occur in less than a year!

~The Thain Talk

 

~Brandybrook is STILL the best place in all of Arcas~

9 out of 10 descendants agree! Let’s hear from these people!

”Brandybrook be t’a best village ‘n t’eh wurld!” -A long-haired Applefoot halfling claims

”Aye, o’ course ‘t be!” -The same halfling would say after putting on a mustache

This is clear PROOF that Brandybrook is the best! The facts don’t lie!

 

~Toady Traveler Tavern’s Happy Hour Drinking Contest ends in a tie!~

 

~The Happy Hour!~

Oi honestly don’t even remember who won, ‘cause I was passed out! But from what oi’ve heard, naybody else won either since we were all too drunk to care! I woke up surrounded by broken bottles and drunk Halflings, so o’ course it makes sense that it would’ve been a tie seeing as even the great Petrus Frondor and I were unable to hold down the booze!

 

~Karaoke Night in Brandybrook!~

Singin’ be a favorite Halfling pastime! So Rollo Applefoot led a Karaoke night here in Brandybrook so we may sing all of our favorite tunes! Sadly, the Halfling who tried to sing “Despacito” was banished from Brandybrook for subversive activities against t’a state. Regardless, it was ah good ol’ time and we all had fun!

 

~Source of the Dinkle River located!~

After years of searching up and down the mighty Dinkle River for its source, a brave Halfling explorer has finally gone found it! Nestled away between mountains and sun-bleached plains, this lake is where the whole darn river begins! Now t’a Halfling claim to naming this mighty river grows ever stronger!

 

~Talking stone found in Brandybrook!~

~The talking stone falls into the Dinkle River!~

After some explorin’ round Arcas, Rollo Applefoot and Zoot Grumblehill had to deal with a talking stone that followed ‘em home! Thankfully, the talking stone fell into the Dinkle River before it caused any trouble, and now bears the nickname “Jerry” as a result of the incident. Lord Knox bless Jerry, the good ol’ stone!

 

~River Festival is planned to occur in less than a year!~

Spoiler

 

 Don’t be late! This Festival will contain....

-Booze!

-Swimming!

-Racing!

-Fishing!

-Bumper Boats!

-‘n other things!

It’ll take place near t’eh end o’ t’is Elven Week! ((3 PM EST, Sunday the 24^th of March))

 

~The Thain Talk~

 The Properness of Showing Skin In Our Communal Society

Lo there everyone! Your fellow Thain and Leader ROLLO APPLEFOOT here to speak my mind about the growing epidemic of Halflings and the seemingly new trend of not wearing a shirt! You see back within our village of Brandybrook, with the conservative wave flowing over the town trying to convert us from the loving ways of Benard, I noticed a particular discussion being brought up on the properness and legitimacy of halfling values when ethnic halflings came into the village proudly presenting their chests to the young ones and other ladies. Our political council discussed on this, and as Thain in command I ruled that only skin exposed in a deviant manner would be completely banned from our loving and familial town, however with the resurgence of this "trend" I once again find myself at a crossroad...

 

Is it improper of me to ban our loving and happy society from showing of their tummies and chests? What am I to say a halfling can and can't do? Am I, as Thain, suppose to keep our weefolk completely constrained to their clothes?? This discussion is eating at the side of my head as we wave into a new era of living within the non-freezing temperatures of Atlas, and has led me to many sleepless nights of imagining a halfling society where everyone is forced into 7 layers of clothing. Am I to be like the Cannonist Church and force all elven-like halfling shoulders to be unexposed, or am I to free our society from the prison of fabrics that might be forcing them into a non-joyful self temperature (aslong as it stays non-obscene of course. I cannot allow our younguns to be exposed to the society of deviance at such a early age)? Either way, that is something our Elders, High Pumplar, and myself will figure out. - Rollo Applefoot, Thain of Dunshire

 

That’s all fer tonight folks!

-Daisy Applefoot, journalist and resident of Brandybrook.

 

[CanadianKiwiFlight 1901]

The halfling Thain approves of the Thain talk, as he believes he has brought to light the most pressing of halfling and weefolk issues...

 

He then takes a look at some Gladewynn Gals after thinking about his thoughts on halfling shirtlessness 

[Nonival 147]

Liesl Applefoot would nod along thoughtfully as she looks over the papers. After brief consideration, she finds this to be exactly what she has been looking for to finish her makeshift birds nest! She then proceeds to rip up the pages and stuff the scraps between the twiggies. No doubt some lovely birds will come to make their home here now. Liesl might’ve even gone so far as to make a “Welcome Home” sign if’un she was able to read and write.

[osumanduas 1442]

Moved to The Great Library. It shall be sorted into the appropriate category shortly.

 

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