FMG SUTICAN BEARPILE BLOWOUT

[CanadianKiwiFlight 1901]

 

FMG SUTICAN BEARPILE BLOWOUT

 

 

 

Dear fellow people who are trapped in Arcas: the one and only Uialben royal family will be hosting a literal bear fight, totally without any malicious intentions. Come fight BEARS in the MIDDLE of Sutica alongside randos that walk in and wonder “what the actual f*ck is happening I just came here to look for women.” Literally EVERYONE is invited and no one should feel left out because once your face to face with a bear, sometimes the best sides of one come out and we're here to assure that your best side is always out.~

 

DRUIDIC CRYBABY DISCLAIMER

 

We assure you that all bears within this bearpile were all very simply invited to partake and definitely not mass hunted and caged in order to get us to a staggering number of bears. All bears after this event shall be let back out into the wild and/or healed as to assure the PROPER ecosystem environmentally friendly shenanigans. Any and all complaints can be directly shoehorned toward the bear sponsorship party, the FMG. 

 

WHAT IS HAPPENING

 

A F*CKLOAD OF BEAR FIGHTS

Wanna show off your vague-ish animal attacking abilities to that of some money draining bimbo? Then come forward and try and beat a bear in a fight! We even give out a few prizes to people whom do a good job at punching big meaty brown boys. ?

 

DRINKS THAT’LL LITTER THE STREETS

One scotch, one bourbon, and one beer. Drinks and food all around. We aren’t messing around fellahs. We gotta get people PROPERLY out of their comfort zones! Remember lads, liquor is quicker if ya wanna get a lovely lady!

 

BEAR FIGHTING JUNIOR CIRCUIT

Your parents don't trust you to borderline kill yourself by throwing yourself at a bear? Well join our JUNIOR CIRCUIT with our SPECIAL bear guest! Assured to keep things nice and friendly! Only for Descendants under that of adulthood.

 

TRIPLE TAG TEAM BEAR MATCH 

The title is pretty self explanatory yeah? Have 3 lads that wanna show their power against 3 bears? Then F*CUKING GET IN THE RING and tag team that sh*t up.

 

UNBEARABLE BEAR PUNS

Hahahah, Puns are funny right? Well fun fact, if anyone at the event makes a bear pun, the Sutican Government completely and utterly allows you to MURDER that person on sight. Their humanity is supersceeded and you can gut them in the street like an animal.

 

BEAR ARM WRESTLING

Once again pretty self-explanatory. F*CKING ARM WRESTLE a bear. Now subjectively, this is a lot less badass than just fighting a bear… however if you want to lose a limb rather than your life, than this is for you! 

 

INJURY DISCLAIMER

 

As outlined in the Sutican Writ of Governance, Sutica is not responsible or liable if one is injured at this festival. Friendly reminder that Sutican citizens are eligible for free healthcare! If you want to actually have your arm healed after it’s ripped off, we INSANELY suggest that you join Sutica today!... Or don't mess with a bear.

 

Mika Uialben

Trade Prince of Sutica, The Resourceful of the Free State of Sutica

 

Evelyn Uialben

Trade Queen Consort of Sutica, Grand Knight of the Order of the Lubba

 

Terr’hi Uialben

Grand Prince Father of Sutica, Head of the Uialben Bloodline

 

THE FMG Corporation

The  Official Sutican Sponsored Business Corporation, Focused Upon Betterment of Arcas

 

OOC: The event will be held Thursday, August 8th, at 6 PM EST in the Sutican Town square. Message Mystery#1104 on discord if you’re interested in wanting to do anything special.

 

Keep in mind, this isn’t really a ET event. This has nothing to do with my Voidal Invasion Eventline.

 

[Skyrunner 257]

Utaria rolled her eyes at the missive from the comfort of her own bed, stifling a yawn with her hand. She cast a glance back to Lily who was laying beside her before saying, “Meine Schatz, ya know I’m having the strangest sense of deja vu.”

[Buhru 129]

"The prince has managed to save suitica once again!!" A snow elf brownie would call out

[Citrines 20]

“How the hell is he allowed to do this again?” A bewildered elfess exclaimed upon hearing the news.

[Vermy 1484]

Horren “Rosebush” Bogbelly grins ”T’ose sure ere a lot uf disclaimers...”

[ApplePieKathy 561]

Elanaril frowned from the Talus Grove,” I don't believe those bears willingly went with those... Suticans.”  She said to herself, with a concerned face...

[riorr 1970]

Micah O’Connell shakes his wee fist, “Ah’ve ‘ad enough of these blimmin’ BEARS. Down wit’ all bears!” 

[Shezept 304]

Grand Marshal of the Under-Realms of Urguan, Ozneat 'Da Yemarin' Treebeard in thought “W’ere is meh private invitation, I nae go if it’s for EVERYONE I’m a busy dwedmar, running a military and s’it”