A Dead Bandit

[Crevel 7561]

A Dead Bandit

Issued Spring 1767

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The Norlandic Legion displayed courage and strength today. Our policy against Ashen Sigil has proven to be most efficient. A member of the Ashen Sigil had brought a party of two others into the Highland Realm. Our valiant soldiers apprehended the Ashen Sigil brigand and killed the rest. 

 

The captive was escorted into Morsgrad with binds. Upon entering, he had said he was looking to acquire a guild hall, which he was declined. He was brought to the military district, where he was questioned. Valuable intelligence was given regarding the organisation as the man cleared his conscience. He was then escorted to the Ashwood Tree where he had been hung by the High Keeper as punishment for banditry.

Following the hanging, everyone began to celebrate. Justice had been served. However, everyone had begun to feel a rumbling. The rumbling was not in the ground, but omitting from their bowels. Coined as the ‘Norlandic Shits of 1767’, the large group of both men and women rushed to the Sole Norland Shitter. They had been queueing until someone broke the Norland Shitter door in half. An unnamed citizen yelled out to defecate off the bridge. And thus, such was done and the Norland Shits came to an end.

It’s a good thing this happened in Norland, otherwise others wouldn’t be so lucky to have a Shitter in walking distance.

 

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Penned by

Mister Muffins, Chamberlain of the Kingdom of Norland,

[_pr0fit 3084]

Seeing the Sole Norlandic Toilet clogged by a mysterious entity, Olaf goes off to find the Sole Norlandic Urinal, he proceeds to relieve himself in the fixture, he quickly cleans himself and leaves before any may see that it was him to leave a log in the lavatory.

[HadvarAvMitteland 557]

The Rabbit smiles with happiness, one of his soldiers bring present. He signs the Lorraine across his chest, "This seems to be an occurring theme with the Ashen Sigil, they think they are stronger than they actually are, I'm glad our Soldiers schooled them." He mutters under his breath as he proceeds with his day.