The Rules of Snail Racing

[- Pastry 931]

THE RULES OF SNAIL RACING

 

Spoiler

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpNnkW39QAQ For proper understanding of these important rules, this background music is necessary.

 

 

Snail Racing is a multifaceted sport of both animal-keeping and chance. It requires only snails, a racetrack and a spirit of fun (purchased from your nearest Spirit-Shack, probably). Markers of some sort to keep track of those zippy little gastropods and an announcer to keep everyone apprised of the exhilarating action will also help! 

 

Most snails move according to the results of a twenty-sided die, and as a race progresses they can be easily represented as so.

 

• With a result of 10-19, the snail moves forwards one race-unit.
• With a result of 6-9, the snail stays in place.
• With a result of 1-5, the snail moves backwards one race-unit.
• With a result of 20, the snail moves forward TWO race-units. 

 

[!] A Painting of a Typical Snail Race, Eredael Rhenaer, oil on canvas, ca. 1777, Eternal Library, Haelun’or.

 

That covers the basic rules, but it would probably help to explain the process of a snail 

race starting from nothing!

 

First, there must be a desire for a snail race! A few friends may decide they are bored out of their Larihei-loving minds, or you may be drunk off your pure heinies in a bar. Whatever the reason, to have a snail race you must have a few people who want to race! To have a good competition you will need at least two people and an organizer, but only with three or four participants can you have a real thrilling race! But more than four people at a time and you get a bit crowded, so it is best to split a large group into smaller ones to accommodate that.

 

Next, you must have snails! Any snail will do, so long as it will move in accordance to the probability of a d20. Any race-organizer worth their shells will have some prepared for those who do not breed their own lineage. To have a true snail race, though, the snails must be named -- so that their positions can be called out. An invented personality helps too, to put the exhilarating action into perspective.

 

With racers and snails in hand, a track must be decided! The track is a very important part of the snail race, as the longer the track, the longer the race! A six-block track will take roughly thirty minutes of Elven time to complete from start-to-finish, so long as everyone is organized and cordial. Feel free to adjust the size to fit your schedule, so long as everyone agrees upon it. For the uninitiated, a good length to start is a single six-block straightaway (also known as a Snail Sprint!)

 

[!] Thugnificent Jo Acrobatically Overtakes Goop, Earnest Banks, tempera on panel, ca. 1779, Sullas-Seregon Manor, Haelun’or.

 

When the snails are together and the track assembled (or found!) it is time to put the snail gack to the tarmac! Set them on the starting line and roll! Allow time for your announcer to describe the action -- and for you to cheer for your snail (as there is no other outside intervention permitted) -- and then when told to do so again, roll again! The race ends when the first snail reaches the finish line, and the podium is decided at that point. Make sure to give the snails lots of pampering afterwards, as they’ve done a lovely job for you! Winning snails may even herald the beginning of a line of champion Snail-Racers if allowed to propagate: a veritable Snail Talonii!

 

If you’re still confused, the best way to learn how to Snail Race is to see it in action. The Silver State hosts Snail Races on a weekly basis at entirely random times left up to our whims, but one could happen at any time with enough enthusiasm!

 

Disclaimer: enthusiasm for snail racing will not count for a donation when seeking entry to the Silver State as a non-Mali’thill or Kharajyr during non-festival hours. Standard gate procedure applies.

 

Many thanks to the Hansetian “Buck” for bringing this sport to we Mali’thill -- and to Eredael Rhenaer, Maeve Elibar’acal, Eriann Sullas, Muja,  ME - IKUR SULLAS, and countless others for refining the sport into its current form.

 

SNAIL TALONII

 

Those who wish to register their Snail Talonii with the Silver State may send a letter ((Discord or Forums DM)) to the Maheral, Ikur Sullas (or whoever replaces him!) with the following information:

 

Snail Talonii Name:

Snail Talonii Members:

Snail-Race Victories (Only Officially-Recognized Ones!):

Snail Talonii Characteristics:

 

 

Recognized Snail Talonii:

Spoiler

Snail Talonii Name: Snalium

Snail Talonii Members: Snailium I, Snalice

Snail-Race Victories (Only Officially-Recognized Ones!): First and Third Snail Races of Haelun’or (dates forthcoming).

Snail Talonii Characteristics: Very small and petite, quiet, quick.

 

 

 

Spoiler

((Later on we will implement a point-buy system for funky mechanics for your Snail Talonii, but for now we still need to playtest the core ruleset.))

[!] Snailabar’acal Champions, Talia Kae’areh, oil on canvas, ca. 1779, Elibar’acal Manor, Haelun’or.

[Nen 347]

A young silver-eyed Mali’thill read over the rulebook, nodding keenly, ”It was due time for the rules of this popularly loved celebration of gastropod speed and athleticism to be formalized.”

[ronin_champloo 5951]

Within a darkened room, besides a enclosed area – Snalice dwells, pumping iron and lifting weights; He yearns for the next race, to claim absolute victory.

[drowknows 696]

Raja nods as he reads the flier, gaining interest due to his strange slug & snail obsession;”Ill have to witness this ‘event’”he says as he starts to write his letter for the Snail Talonnii.

[rathat 868]

Effile is positively PUMPED, this is truly the most cultured addition to our culture. Today, she searches— for even if she doesn’t race, a glorious gastropod is a much needed friend. Maehr’sae Hiylun’ehya.

[Your Stepdad 711]

Farmer Fred dressed a frog as a snail and begins its training as a racer “she’s as slimy as a snail. She’ll do“

[ibraheemc2000 2965]

18 minutes ago, Boomboxdoom23 said:

Farmer Fred dressed a frog as a snail and begins its training as a racer “she’s as slimy as a snail. She’ll do“

Wonk Slayer breathed heavily as he looked to the frognail, confused raising the Wonk bonker looking to farmer Fred for permission.

[0zark 60]

0zark smiles proudly, happy that Buck Dirtgrub, a simple Haenseman, started something special in Haelun’or.