THE DIARY OF ANNIKA ANASTASIJA - ENTRY II

[Mady 3091]

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TO LIVE FOREVER

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This entry is not known to anyone oocly so pls make sure you don't accidentally metagame or use this in your rp! 

 

Date: 12th of Joma and Umund, 372 of the Second Age

 

“Would you, given the opportunity, accept eternal life?” Was the question he asked me. It was an odd inquiry for sure, something I have never really put much thought into. Could one actually live forever? And if they could, would it be of Godan’s will or something else? These were the questions which rushed through my mind. In all honesty I had nie clue what to say. As he watched me expectantly, I felt as though I needed to give him something. It was clear the question was niet rhetorical. He wanted a true answer. “That does niet sound natural. Godan would never bless someone with that.” I told him. In some ways, the man did not seem satisfied with my answer, only pressing me with more philosophical questions that I have never been asked before. His eyes were genuine and by all  accounts, my favourite color. 

 

Vibrant, green eyes are what watched me, never once straying away as we spoke. Fyodor was someone who I had met upon my arrival to Karosgrad. A kind gentleman and quite literally the tall dark and handsome sort. He stood tall and confident and showed kindness to me as we spoke. We met at a shop as the market fair long ago came to an end. I was enticed by the dwarven wares and he was inquiring about a ring. His accent was Imperial but his looks and features reminded me of a Haeseni man. Quite the contradiction I suppose. It was not long until I was wrapped around his finger. 

 

There was something about Fyodor that was unlike the rest. He was nothing like the boys of my youth, nor did he resemble that of the men of my present. He seemed more so like a free bird which would fly to and fro as it pleased. In all honesty I could listen to him speak all day if allowed. His voice and the way he spoke with such articulate and meaningful wording drew me in. I was hooked. If it was niet for my engagement I- 

 

“Step-Mamej!” Came the cry of Petra from the hallway, the rambunctious Princess could be heard tripping over the hem of her dress with an audible ‘oof’. “Do niet run devushka!” The woman called out, standing up from the sofa within her office and making her way to the door. “Are vy alright?” She’d ask upon seeing the grinning girl behind the door. Raven black locks of the Princess would be slightly frazzled from her tumble, the rose gold tiara upon her head lying crooked. With a quiet ‘tsk’ Annika would move to adjust Petra’s appearance. “Da, I brought vy a sunflower!” She exclaimed, holding up a semi-wilted plant for her to take. 

 

Plastering on a happy smile, Annika would reach down and accept the gift. “Spasibo my dear! I will put this in a vase on my desk, Da?” She said, smiling wholeheartedly at the bouncing young girl she had grown to love deeply. “Da, da! Dravi!” Was all the girl said before merrily skipping back down the hallway and into the palace. With a small chuckle and a shake of her head, the red head would resort back to her office, plopping the wilted flower into a vase on her desk that was already stuffed with flowers similar to what was just gifted to her. “Where was I?” She sighed, making herself comfortable once more. 
 

If it was niet for my engagement I would have allowed myself to fall even further for him. He was so unique, so open to hearing my opinions and challenging them to make me dig deeper into my thoughts and feelings. In a way, he made me question my true self, my beliefs and my purpose in life. And in return, what did I give him? This is what I always wondered. Did I give him company? Someone to talk to when bored? Was I just there to help him pass the time? We established each other as friends, but in my heart I could feel the tug which I could only come to decipher later in life. 

 

It came to me in a dream and as I awoke to the cold breeze of the Attenlund air, for once my mind was clear of clutter and anxiety. There was nie more falling for him. Nie more falling because I had fallen as fast and as hard as one could. It was the conversation I craved and the challenging questions that I wished I could have every day of my life. The day in Yong Ping when he placed a cherry blossom behind my ear was the day I wished that I was someone else. Someone different. Someone who had the ability to run away with a man who I barely knew to face the repercussions for it when the time came. Someone who was free. 

 

A warm tear would trickle down the cheek of the woman, abruptly being wiped away. Letting out a shaky breath, Annika would watch the flames within the fireplace lick and curl around the burning logs. “I can niet.” She whispered to herself, moving to crumple up the page and toss it into the fire, knowing that this entry, no one could ever discover. The crumpled paper would quickly be devoured by the brushing flames, disintegrating into ash. Shortly after she made sure the evidence was destroyed, a small, dried and pressed cherry blossom flower would follow, engulfed by the quiet crackle and heat of the flames. 

 

Spoiler

This diary entry serves to help me keep track of my character, as well as bring an ooc insight into how her story has progressed as a character. I hope this can provide some sort of ooc entertainment with more to come :)

[EmiliainWonderland 1527]

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Heart breaking