The Love Letter board

[Tigergiri 3073]

Spoiler

{{ OOC: If Your character wishes to comment, we ask that you do so INRP or amongst yourselves. We are trying to keep this Bulletin board filled with letters between @Josef_Rippelberg & @Tigergiri permitted parties allowed to enter letters below are the Carrion-Tuvyic family and the Galbraith Family if they so wish so. Any others wishing to add letters please talk to one of the two original writers.  We both wanted these letters to be cannon of sorts, to fulfil a character arc that has been front and centre lately. So welcome to the public letter board. We ask each reply to this forum post, Please be in form of a letter. You do not have to sign the letter or mention any names. As long as it is indeed a letter.

https://youtu.be/FW0vkAXg8_o some nice music to read too.

These first to letter start off rather safe, as }}

 

[!] Tucked away, between the streets of providence. Would be a sturdy little board. Once scattered with job openings and other notices. Now was slowly filling with letters! More so, public letters. If one were to watch the board for long they would see two teens mere adults come back and forth reading the letters and posting a reply. Not a care in the world for how others may read or place on the board. Only seemingly to care about what was written for their eyes only. A true declaration of love. 

 

The first letter on the board, seemed to be quite old, yellowing at the edges.  Glued back together, though a piece of the paper would look to be if there was a bite in it. But if one were to want to start from the trail of letters. It would start here.. 

 

Dear Nikita,

 

 I miss you.

 

G. 

 

 

---

[!] The next letter lays with atorn ripped page under neath as if someone had yanked it off the board and set the other one back in place. What other letter this one talked about. Must be long gone.. 

 

"Dear Nikita, 

I have sent with this bird a copy of a letter from a man - who may not be able to tell you this personally. 

 

Sincerely, B.”

 

 

---

 

[Josef_Rippelberg 0]

[!] A Letter would be hung at the board, the writing seemed messy as though the author had corrected himself multiple times, it's content read as so,

"Dear Nikita,

 

Words cannot describe the feeling you have instilled in me with your words – the shock when I saw you with castinus, my internal devastation when I found out that he indeed had admitted his feelings to you and the happiness I have felt when I heard you saying the words. It is a truth that there is no greater virtue than love and I love you Nikita. I know I have already told you once but I need to tell you again – and again how I feel towards you, how I shall always feel towards you no matter what happens no matter if a war is on the horizon or not and no matter if the holy Empire falls one day – my feelings for you shan’t ever. I would like to tell you that I am not flawed, but this would be a lie.

I must tell you of the Philip I have grown to be before you decide if you wish to court this Philip or not. I am at times a Jerk Nikita – I can only promise you to try and change myself. I can only promise you to never make you feel negative feelings an to comfort you if you do, but I cannot promise you that I am the best man in the Empire. I do not know how much you know of me, maybe you already knew that, maybe you didn’t. But it is my duty to tell you of myself – in case you wish to change your mind . . . to avoid a mistake.

I would understand if you were to dislike for myself . . . at times I dislike myself as well, but I have tried to change once and I have tried to be more like my siblings – more like Arthur who seems to be liked by everyone. Nikita do know that whatever you decide to do, whatever you may say to me, I may not stop loving you – regardless of what happens I have loved you since we were young and I will love you when we are old.

 

Yours truly,

Philip"

[Tigergiri 3073]

[!] A letter presed and slightly closed as if to ask for privacy,  it held a faint sent of honeysuckle and peaches. Written in black ink  the cursive would still be drying. with in reference of the duchess of Roxtan letters. 

 

Dear Phillip,
 For where you fall short with words. I will be there to catch your wistful tongue. A few days ago, I thought I loved you, but since I last saw you, I feel I love you a thousand times more. All the time I have known you, I adore you more each day. Everything in nature has its own life and different stages of growth. I beg you, let me see some of your faults: be less beautiful, less graceful, less kind, less good... I thought of myself as a fool when I pushed my feelings down. A fool, a jester within the royal ballroom. My visage dressed in blue, behind a silvery mask of lies, my eyes ever drifted to the edge away from silver and blue and on to gold and bronze. A sunset on a field of wheat.
My jealousy raged, for I thought you only thought of me as the little kid that stormed within your house to beat you for calling a lady less than kind words. Your little sister's friend, your brother's friends, then finally the one that raised Fallon. Nothing more, and once I was in resolved with myself that I genuinely and deeply in love. There was nothing else I wanted.  Every thought consumed and ran back to you. I could barely eat, much like talk my way through the social idling of courts. My blind eyes are desperately waiting for the sight of you. You don't realise, of course, how fascinatingly beautiful you have always been and how strangely you have acquired an added and extraordinary and dangerous loveliness. For me, no flaw can push me ever away so. Nor the flirtations of another man may never sway my devotion towards your eyes, your voice that says sweet nothing. Fierce and Dangerous Loveliness.
You drew me from the darkest period of my young life, sharing with me the sacred mystery of what it is to be in the care of another; I learned to see through you and never compose a lie within your presence.  I do not wish you to change, and I want nothing but your presence, the knowledge that I can be the apple of your eyes without another swaying your eyes. For I know the sunkissed ladies with their golden locks are far prettier than I will ever be. It should be me saying if you wish to change your mind. Marry Alexandra, you are free to do so. To not be with a girl of far fewer titles than what your name may be used to. I am of fourth in line to ever inherit anything.  I have always considered my birthright a burden to be endured and in the most arrogant of ways. I am well aware of my preeminent place in this world, and I own to being conceited and vain. I have often taken without a thought to the consequences to others and without giving freely in return.(.)  I am, by nature, wary and reserved. All this you know and accept and have never been repulsed by.   With how the world is now, I will never be the way Elder sister Alexandra will be. I will never have her poise, her grace. I never will command a title. The social season is a game for titles and grabs. Yet for you to hold my eye, and you mine. Nor have you ever doubted my right to be as I am. You love me unconditionally and for that alone.  It must genuinely be the will of the fates, maybe the guise of two aenghuls struck down by God, for no matter how far they wander from each other. They stay entangled by their memories together.
For this, I only say twice to you. Once within this letter and the next time, I shall utter the words will be in front of all our dearest friends and family in front of God himself. For I do,  deeply, agonisingly love you. If you so accept my affections and heart.

Of your beloved, 
Nikita 

 

 

[Josef_Rippelberg 0]

[!] Another letter would be hung at the board, this time it seemed to have been writen far cleaner than the letter he had hung prior. As the ink still dried the letter would be visible for all to see as if the author wished to make a statement.

Dearest Nikita,

With nothing but affection in my feeble heart I have read your letter and I must confess that I am shocked that you would even dare utter these words – consider that I would look at another lady like I look at you. You might not believe me my dear Queen but there will never be another one like you. If I am not with you; I cannot laugh, I cannot feel happiness, the only thing that I do feel is the voidal darkness which arrives in my thoughts – which consumes me for the thought of you not being around . . . of me not being able to hear your voice and to see you with my own eyes once again as though I was seven years old again. Maybe sometimes I wish I was seven again, the world was an easier place back then. It was different. We weren’t worried about such things as love and commitment. Sometimes it is just easier being a child again – not worrying about the world and not caring for what others think. Maybe sometimes I wish us back into the Galbraith Garden where we fenced together. It was different when we started to raise Fallon and when we had our own Kid Kingdom – it felt as though I was starting to feel something towards you, I think that from that point onwards I have been lost Nikita. I started to feel different when meeting you – I was strangely lost and such I wished to make you feel different as well . . . I wished to inflict upon you the same curse, I needed to do such. Do you remember when I promised you, we will find someone who will make us young forever one day? I have taken up work in the Foreign Office and I hope to find someone who can do that – one day I will fulfil my promise, it does not matter if that promise is old by now. I have promised to make you happy even though I may not be the best person – truth be told I am not a good person – but I have confessed this in my letter prior to you. I must tell you of my feelings in private – I must show you the person I really am and the person I would like to be when I confess to you and when I spend time with you.

 

Tell me Nikita what were your thoughts when you first met me? I know what my thoughts were as clear as if it happened yesterday. I looked at you with anger and then at my sister, I was annoyed by the presence of both of you alongside my younger Brother Arthur and my Sister Katherine – I must admit that looking back from my younger days I may have hated the day, but now I feel grateful for having witnessed the day. . . if such things were not to happen if I hadn’t made my sister cry I may have very well not met you that early Nikita. I can’t imagine you without looking back at that day and I wouldn’t know another world in which that day never happened. Do you remember when Fallon was but a puppy? When we could pick him up easily and he would not defend himself. Maybe in a year he can pick you up.

 

What I wish to say now and what I wish to always say is that I wouldn’t wish for anyone else, there is no one that ignites the flame of my heart as you do. I have attempted to make you jealous Nikita – I have done so in the hopes you would one day feel what I felt for you when I saw you at the start of the season and when I have given you the earrings. If I were to marry someone else . . . if I were to not marry you, I wouldn’t be happy. I would never be truly happy without you, for a King needs a Queen, you are her Nikita. There is none in Almaris who may ignite the same feelings I feel when I jest with you or when I think about you at the darkest of nights, writing letters with only but the light of a candle and the thought of you being gone forever – being lost to another man. It truly changed something in me – not just that day I confessed to you Nikita, no way before that day. I had wished for you to say yes at the Imperial Wedding, but I could not utter my feelings, nor could I utter my feelings when I have danced with you at our first ball together. You are far braver than I ever will be when you told me that you love me. I may have written that letter, but you have told me how you feel. There are but few who manage to do such. What I wish to say . . . to finish this letter with is that there will never be anyone who I shall love and cherish more than I do you. 

Yours truly,
Philip

[Tigergiri 3073]

 

Beloved Philip,  @Josef_Rippelberg

 

What are you so fearful of? That the world may I hear our love and become scared? There is nothing that can frighten me away from proclaiming what is only proper. One shall not tell a lie to their beloved. It simply is not correct. It would never feel right to lie to you, like sand on my tongue weighing down the words that shouldn't even be spoken. The taste of dirt and parched. For freely talking to is like a spring, an oasis, and you are the only ones that can free me from. My dear King, a title we have given each other as kids. Kids from that point on, we fought over what we may call our kingdom. But we never fought over what we may call ourselves. 

 

That day of the great war. That day where I cried in your arms, and you swore to me that no one would ever make me cry like that again. was the day I knew I could fully listen to your words. I fare that you do not understand the words in which you write. We fully knew about love and commitment. As children, we used our play as feeling, and we used it as toys that we barely knew what we were doing. As we did, we committed to loving and caring for a puppy. Who is not so much a puppy anymore? Just like we are not children no more. Though I do wish we still had the nativity we did back then. Still, I want to proclaim myself the girl that would gladly go into your house to beat you up with a pillow. The girl that looked the bully in the eye and smiled. But alas, we all do change. We were caterpillars, and now we are butterflies how it happens.

I haven't the slightest clue. But it's beautiful and new; spring is upon us and all these new feelings. They frankly make me giddy and dizzy. The only time I don't feel dizzy is within your arms. Safe and secure. If you feel lost, I shall hand you my hand. And guide you through this new life together. You ask of me when I made that silly promise? I will be frank I don't think I was of the right mind when I asked that of you. I had lost someone dear to me, and the fear of the unknown haunted me. I ran to you, the only one I knew back then that wouldn't leave me. I knew you wouldn't leave me. If you still wish to figure it out. To find our fountain of youth. I will not stop you; I am curious if we will ever find it? You may not believe you are a good person, but your actions say otherwise. We shall meet, as we always do. 

 

My thoughts when I first met you? You ask of me to such to delve into my innocent mind of a young girl. Back then, I was the baby of the family. I was the fourth daughter. Even then, I barely saw my sisters. I still barely see them. For so many of us, you think we would be close-knit. We aren't.. and I don't know if we will ever be. When I first met you, I was like, who is this boy who thinks he can trample on his families feelings. Especially as close as they are. You gave me no choice but to put matters in my own hands and knock sense into you. You were rude and arrogant, but you - you let me hit you and tackle. A girl who was smaller, weaker than you. Eventually, you did. You put up a good fight at the beginning of it. I do not think I have hated anyone. I was jealous that your family had talks and game nights .. and I? I was left to eat dinner alone, surrounded by servants I barely knew. Forced to play alone, barely knowing the names that came after me. Barely even talking to my father unless he called on me. I felt forgotten, and I envied you. I decided you were my friends, the people I would try to model my own family after. Funny to think about, right? as the years passed, your father barely batted an eye at me as I unlocked his door with a hairpin. Your brother would stay silent as I walked to your room to grab things and take Fallon for a walk.

No one dared to tell me I wasn't allowed to be there. And for the one time in my life, I felt like I belonged there with you by your side. And with your dotting family. If things were even changed, I do not think they would be as they are now. Nothing would be the same- that I am unquestionable sure of this. Our life would be far from perfect. I believe they would feel incompleted if that day was never to come to pass.

 

How grieved I was to learn that you were compelled to tear yourself away from me, even for a short time; but, my dear King, be assured that whether together or absent, your queen is, and will be, eternally and affectionately your own. I hold on to our friendship wholly- something i have yearned for that ever is growing. You ignited a feeling I long thought was gone. A warmth that creates a feeling of wholeness. I simply couldn't fathom how warm you indeed made me feel. My heart was whole when I read this letter, and Henceforward I am yours for everything.

 

You are not solely at fault; I, too, had tried to twist your emotion and your eyes towards mine. When both of mere fools competing to catch the eye of oneself. You know, we have everything before us, and we shall do very great things. I have perfect faith in us, and so perfect is my love for you...I want nobody but you for my lover, my King and my friend and to nobody but you shall I be faithful. I am yours forever and forevermore. Though The tiniest bit of me, I shall not lie, hold feelings for Castinus, it's nothing compared to how I feel for you. His an ink on the page, while yours a storybook that is forever writing itself. How I wished for you to utter the words to ask me to the dance. I had held off The De Nurems Offers as long as I could. I told him that I had eyes for another but that another didn't ask, I would go with him. I waited till the moment before the dance for you to ask me. I gave you every hint I could think of. But I was not going to force you into something you did not wish to do. But how I yearned for you to say it. My heart was broken into pieces when you didn't even mention it. 

You are my very life, Sweetheart, and every separation gives such endless heartache. There is only one thing I may cherish more than you. And if you have to ask you... surely it would be best if you thought again. for he's been with us from thick and thin. 

feverishly and hopefully yours,

Nikita 

 

[Josef_Rippelberg 0]

Dear Nikita,

 

It would be but a lie to say that I have not fought over you in our childhood – yes, it is true that we may have fought over our Kingdom multiple times. I remember very well the playfights we have waged with the other Kingdom – I remember such very well as if it happened recently my Queen, but to say that I have not fought over us would be a lie. Yes, it is true that we were dumb and naïve but my Queen I have always fought over us, to at least preserve our friendship. I must admit I was jealous – that day you asked me if I were jealous? Yes, I was. I always was. I did not have anyone I could talk to as a kid I must admit to you Nikita, as you have told me correctly Lousia was the favourite amongst the siblings but that was not an issue for me. I hated them all, I still do I must admit, it may fade day by day, but it is true. If we are to be forever honest with each other than consider this as my first step to forever be honest with you Nikita.

 

There is a certain calming state in revealing my honest feelings to you Nikita, I wouldn’t and couldn’t wish for someone else to share my feelings with my Queen. There is no one in the Empire I can be as honest with like you and I hope that you indeed feel the same – I do not doubt it. It would be a lie to say that I did not feel jealous when I saw you dancing with castinus – when I saw you two talking you know that already my Queen, but there is more to it Nikita.

Do you remember when we used to fence together? When I have beaten the sword out of an innocent girl in an attempt to show my superiority – to prove something to you my dear Queen. Maybe to prove something, maybe to impress you that day. Maybe to have my revenge for the day we met for the first time – maybe I was just angry . . . I can not remember anymore what I felt that day my beloved. I wouldn’t be able to recall my feelings that day, it is one of those memories you just know that happened. I never liked my own Family, even if you may have envied me for what I had. I hated my siblings deeply – I still do. I was angry at my father and at my mother for her absence. I found my siblings to be annoying, such I have told many times to my father . . . maybe I have used a different wording than annoying, but such is not important. I was shocked when I read that you envied me for what I had. Yes, we saw each other often but there is so much an outcast of the family can see before he grows tired – and I am indeed the outcast of the family even if my father insists that such is not the case. Even if he tells me everyday that he loves us equally there are thoughts darkening my mind, my dearest Queen.

 

One day such feelings may finally fade but I cannot promise you such . . . it would be unjust of me to promise you this Nikita. To promise you to be better than I am right now. I do not wish to start breaking the promises I have given to you; it would truly pain my heart if I were to start doing that. A man’s word is everything, he cannot afford to let his word grow worthless especially in the eyes of his dearest woman. I am truly afraid of the future I will admit, I have only ever witnessed absence in my life, whether it be my mother who has been avoiding her children – whether it be my father who has a rather complicated relationship with his heir. I must admit that is on me, I was and am still insecure not sure of what the future holds for us. But there is one thing I am certain at, I will never stop fighting for us Nikita and if it takes decades I shall never rest until we are truly happy, there are no borders I would not cross for you. You truly are the one thing I cherish the most as well my dear Queen.

 

Truth be told I have not been used to call ourselves what we are . . . that word I have used yes but it means so much, I wouldn’t wish to abuse it. I wouldn’t wish for it to become just a common word in our vocabulary that we throw around daily. It means intimacy and that we have finally found the partner one wishes to spend his life with. Tell me Nikita, what would have happened if I were not brave enough? Would you have ever stopped loving me after a while? I couldn’t have done that I must admit. If I were not brave enough or if you would have chosen someone else – I surely wouldn’t know what would have happened that day. I lie awake in the darkest of nights unable to spend and start writing – even now my dear Nikita I start writing to you from the room I have shown you, next to my quill is a candle which lightens the room. My Siblings surely must be asleep by now – as well as my father. If he is home that is, I truly wouldn’t know if he was or not. I can tell you that Fallon is sleeping when I write this letter. He has taken a place at my bed invaded it and made it his personal realm which I am generously allowed to find rest in. Truly a generous and loving soul our dear Fallon is.

 

There are so many words unspoken, so many words I have not told you and so many regrets Nikita. I am thinking about my regrets right now they are haunting me. I imagine myself doing everything right, choosing differently in that particular situation but – I could not imagine what would happen afterwards it truly would be a different reality. There is no perfect reality I know that Nikita, there never will be, we as the sons of Horen make mistakes – a lot of mistakes whether it be the sons outside of the Empire or inside the Empire we eventually make mistakes and such is a part of life, isn’t it? Tell me would you have loved me if I was a perfect man? If I was more like my brother? I am far from perfect I have explained that enough in this letter, but there are things that are unchangeable in one’s mind. Such thoughts I cannot get rid of them Nikita as much as I try to be the man you deserve, to be a perfect man. For you I would attempt such, achieve perfection, but then again what is perfection?

 

There is so much unspoken between us – there are many opportunities for us for we are still quite young, you have told me that you shall help me achieve my goal of becoming the second Baron of my Family – shall my father achieve it that is. I am thankful for your support my Queen, one day I may be able to get it, but I must let you know that you deserve much more than that. I wouldn’t wish to tie you down to a man who could not even achieve this, so must I not tie you down to a promise my Queen. It would be cruel to demand of you to stay with me if I am but nothing. If I do not have a title, then I am but only a servant of the Empire. Granted serving the Empire is but the greatest honour once can do. To care for the nation that has raised you and provided you with such a stable life . . . I wouldn’t wish to live in that godforsaken other half of Almaris. A place in which rebellions happen and the love of people is disrupted by such events.

 

Nikita, you have once told me that the sunkissed ladies are prettier than you, but I cannot agree with you on this one Nikita. There is no one that will be prettier than you in my eyes. You are what I think of when I lay awake in the darkness and when I start my day – sit at the table with my family. You are the topic of conversation between my father and myself – one that has led for hours of talk and thousands of words in letters. I must admit I have not seen much of the world outside my small bubble of narcissism and the Imperial Capital. There is not much I can change about that, but I wish to explore the world with you – not particularly going outside the Empire but seek the meaning of life with you. Maybe we will find it one day, won’t we?

 

I wish for one day that you utter the words I long for, but that is a lot to ask of – maybe it will always be a lot to ask you of, so you shan’t utter these words until you are ready to say them my Queen. If you are never ready to say them then I shall wait forever patiently. There shall never be another girl that fills my heart with so many different emotions – that lightens the darkest of moods. I must admit my Queen that if you were to never say the words my heart would not be broken, it is a cruel thing to say, yes. But it is the truth . . . the moments I spend with you are worth much more than the words and If I never hear them – if you simply wish to tell them to someone else, I shall always cherish the moments I have with you. Until the darkness clouds my vision forever and lets me rest for eternity.

Yours truly,

Philip