THE POST/6th Of The First Seed

[ATallTower 73]

THE POST

The Truth And The Truth Only

 

Index:

ATTENTION

 

1. A Face Of Beauty At The Courts

2. Romstuns The Heroes Of Oren

3. Farmers Beg Hunters To Stop Hunting Quail

4. Nobles Drunk

5. War

6. Priest Of The Day

7. Hunting

8. A Group Of Wine Dealers Turn People Into Madmen

 

A Face Of Beauty At The Courts

 

Daphne Daber has sure made an established presence within the courts and Providence as a whole these past few months. In this short time, she has had all the ladies of the court yearning to match her beauty and style. This is of course to be expected from a descendant of holy Horen. 

 

Daphne Dabber On Route To Feed The Poor!

 

Proclaimed as Ms. Empire… Daphne Dabber has certainly taken this new spotlight in her own humble stride. To be expected from such a GODLY and HUMBLE woman. 

 

She has to the delight of the masses fed thousands of poor, something the nobility of Oren should sincerely pick up on as a trend. And by 1870 promises to open a grand orphanage to house the many homeless children. The humble goddess of Oren said and I quote “It wath thomething I had to do. I must feed the poor kidth.” We here at “The Post” were very glad to bask in the presence of this philanthropic woman. 

 

But other than the Orphanage Daphne in her benevolent presence bestowed upon us more future projects. She intends to make portraits of herself for all the ladies of Oren to place in their homes as an idol of beauty and fashion. She also plans to open her own clothing line, which she says is going to “Catch on like wildfire!”. 

 

Daphne Dabber finally wishes to put out a proposal of engagement to Prince Willius Horenus.

 

~John Lorde

 

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Romstuns The Heroes Of Oren?

 

Argus Romstun and his sister, true heroes of Oren and helpers of the ISA have asserted a form of dominance within Oren that all other nobles seem to fear. Working closely with the ISA the Romstuns for the most part seem to be the reason the Empire has had any victories throughout the war. Argus Romstun and his sister agreed to answer a few questions about their life and opinions on the world.

 

“They are ******* shit!” Was the young lord's opinion on the ISA. An opinion based on the fact that they claim that the ISA “Lacks the ability to do anything”. They have openly criticized the ISA for sitting in the Providence square flirting with people instead of doing their duties. 

 

Grace Romstun was also quick to critique the lack of fighting will within the army. And how her family in all their glory are the reason the Orenians were able to retreat from the vicious Haenseti battlefield. She also mentioned that the famous Romstun headed rescue operation of “fifty-five” (55)  drowning children has gone unnoticed by his Imperial Majesty. “I mean we're out here doing drug busts, and these poncy assholes don’t even take a single notice.” Grace angrily informed this news reporter before in an utter stage of rage decimating his eyeball.

 

Facing much abuse from the Imperial Government and the ISA the Romstun family has not only been banished once but “five times” (5) from the Empire. However, the Emperor in his infinite wisdom which is almost comparable to all the intellect combined of his predecessors has been quick to resolve these issues every time they occur.

 

The Romstun family doesn’t only boast. Their level of piousness is unmatched compared to the level of other nobles who would rather buy makeup than celebrate the one true GOD. “I think it is ridiculous that these nobles would rather enjoy life than contribute thousands of minas like our family does to the church” Argus was quick to mention followed by confirmation from his sister Grace. “Where the **** is our medal from the High Pontiff?” asked Grace in her humble soothing voice. 

 

The soothing sound of her voice was confirmed by one of our great reporters who passed out due to the beauty that Grace Romstun emitted. “I think the finest Princess would cry if she really saw the true beauty of this lady” the reporter admitted. He later proposed to her and unfortunately hasn’t been heard from. The Romstuns later told us he committed suicide due to the rejection. Even though the body still eludes us.

 

Argus said that his sister's looks however are nothing like his as he gets proposals of marriage from “one hundred and twenty-two” (122) women a day.

 

For now, however, Argus and Grace will continue to live out their wealthy and prosperous lives. Which they claim makes commoners cry on a daily basis.

 

~Thomas Ulysees

 

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Holy Post Renamed To The Post After Untimely Death Of Previous Priest Of The Day Father Leonard Of Some Ally

 

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Farmers Beg Hunters To Stop Hunting Quail

 

A while back this newspaper's hunting section showcased that it was quail hunting seasons within northern Almaris. This was a mistake! STOP! The quails are not to be hunted. It turns out it is pheasant season. And some farmers are losing their favorite quail pets.

 

~Godfrey Pious

 

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“NOBLE” SOPHIE WE HERE AT THE POST REQUEST OF YOU TO APOLOGIZE TO ALL COMMONERS AND TAKE A WALK OF REPENTANCE TO KRUG’MAR

 

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DO YOU LIKE CARP? DO YOU LIKE SALMON? DO YOU LIKE BASS? DO YOU LIKE CATFISH? DO YOU LIKE STURGEONS? DO YOU LIKE MUSKY? THEN COME ON DOWN TO MRS. ROSEMARY VUILLERS FISH SHOP.

 

URUKS NOT WELCOME ANYMORE THANKS TO THE LAST INCIDENT.

 

“Nobles” Drunk

 

The situation in the tavern of Providence a few nights back seems to have shown that power wasn’t the only thing these nobles were drunk on. They were caught causing a rather large disturbance and even offering alcohol to the children among them in the vicinity of the tavern. Luckily some of them still had the decency in their vile states to stop these said “nobles” from offering the children alcohol.

 

Drinks were also thrown about and the drinking utensils which held them. Causing nothing but damage to valuable tavern property.

 

They also spoke of their glorious adventures in which a mission to Haense where they snuck into Karosgrad was leaked. 

 

I believe that the fellow Orenites would rather our so-called higher classes in charge of diplomacy keep their secret missions on the down-low. Less Haense catches wind of it and causes more harm to the nation. The harm which has shown to take a toll on the soldiers and common people of this great nation. Although from what history has told us the nobles don’t seem to care much.

 

And to think they had the guts left in them to mutter that this was top secret information after they leaked it, drunk of course. Maybe they should take a look at how the glorious Romstun family handles their affairs and this behavior may come to a stop.

 

~Patrick Sweeny

 

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Viktor Romstun Orenian Man Of The Year. A Man So Great He Married Into Greatness! Ladies Step Right Up And Make Your Proposals. As He Has Sadly Gotten Divorced! Not Of His Fault Though….

 

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Do You Need Clothing? Well The ISA Has Changed Their Uniforms. So Go On Ahead And Talk To Domnick Sydney About Getting Your Own ISA Leftover Surplus. If You Need Clothes Desperately Don’t Feel Afraid To Ask! The ISA Won’t Be Needing Them Anymore. But Do Watch Out On The Roads The Enemy Urguanites, Daelanders, Sedanites, Haensers, and Mercenaries. Might Mistake You For An Outdated ISA Soldier.

 

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WAR

 

The best family in Oren has proven to be the heroes of the Imperial people again. While the ISA danced and skipped about the squares of Providence, the brave Romstuns were able to spot a force of heavily armored Tripartite troops entering through an unguarded section of the city of Providence. The Romstuns single-handedly killed “sixty-seven” (67) armed soldiers. As the battle went on the Romstuns were able to hold their wits among themselves and not suffer anything but a few scrapes. This Romstun Victory goes to show that GODAN like always is on the side of the Romstuns. And humbly brought their presences before Oren to save it from its pitiful state.

 

 

Romstuns Execute Haenseti Savage Humanely

 

~Alexander Joseph

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PRIEST OF THE DAY!

 

Father Georgeson Of Some Dirt Road

 

~Godfrey Pious

 

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Hunting

 

As stated before in the farmers and quail column of this beautiful newspaper, it is pheasant hunting season. So get on out there with your crossbows and go hunt some quail, to feed your families.

 

~Hunter Huntington

 

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A Group Of Wine Dealers Turns People Into Madmen

 

Recently, our reporters here at "The Post" have been able to find themselves beneath the modern black market scheme right out of the tales of novels! The infamous story starts a saints-day ago, where the famous newspaper company sent one of their most prized reporters, Albert Fried, to follow a suspicious group of individuals who said, and I quote "Are transporting these crates of wine down to a friend's house." Albert happily and for the glory of the Empire followed the group, and after many hours of tracking the wine-suppliers he had found the group halted outside a shed near the outskirts of Oren in the late hours of the night. "They were wearing these yellow and blue cloaks!" He said in a de-brief. "Two of them took boxes into the shed while the other two guarded the door! They wore face masks that resembled Ms. Empire, Daphne Dabber herself! It was like a cult!" Alfred explained. 

 

Shortly after the suspicious wine-transporters had arrived at the shed, a cloaked individual who "Wore a mask of Lord Sir Argus Romstun-" (famed member of the best family in Oren) had approached the group. The figure held up a large bag, assumed to be Minas, and placed them at the bottom of the wine cart. Abruptly, the Daphne Dabber costume-wearing wine dealers slid the remaining boxes of wine to the figure. "They gave it to him and just left! The Argus fan stood outside the shed and opened a box of wine and held up the bottle to his face! He didn't pull the cap off or anything! Just smashed the bottle onto his forehead!" Alfred explained in our interview. "Once the liquid went into his body, he began to yell “marriage” and “power” over and over again! Even when the sun began to rise the figure incessantly shouted those words, the man beginning to punch himself in intervals as time continued to pass. Eventually, his voice failed and the man calmly walked away..." Alfred explained with a look of terror and a trembling voice.

 

"It's something straight out of a horror story! The doing of a cult!" said Maria Santiago, a citizen of Providence and owner of a shop.

 

"It's something of true evil-a higher power who came down from Iblees’s place is responsible for this!" said Peter Shizzle, a citizen of Providence and owner of a suit.

 

After careful consideration, our team has drawn ourselves to different thoughts. "Perhaps it's the doing of the Nobility! They want people to follow suit and marry themselves off at the age of “Eighteen” (18)!" said our junior reporter, Robert Smith. Or maybe Ms. Santiago and Mr. Shizzle are right, and this is the doing of those who "came down from Iblees place." From what Alfred has told "The Post" it is safe to assume those responsible are attempting to force people to marry and force them to gain power. Their ways insane and inhumane it would seem. With evidence like this, we cannot come to a proper conclusion. But if some corrupt noble is involved this would not come as a surprise.

 

"The Post" will continue to include more and more updates as the situation unfolds, however for now the headline remains…. A GROUP OF WINE DEALERS TURNS PEOPLE INTO MADMEN!

 

- Nikolas Macheron

 

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@

[outcook 799]

Viktor Romstun rose the newspaper to his face, reading it through with a soft chuckle. "Did you pay these guys your entire ******* bank account?" He asked Argus with a bold cackle, moving to paste the newspaper against his room's wall. 

[EmiliainWonderland 2311]

Maria de Rosius, formerly Maria Romstun de Rosius gagged at the post. 

 

"Romstuns? Ew." She nearly threw up as she threw out the paper.

 

She was incredibly disappointed in her youngest, Grace Romstun, for saving drowning children. 

 

"You're supposed to let them die, Children are useless until they're older, but you shouldn't LET them get older. Mon dieu." 

[oryP 1068]

Sir James Madron smiled proudly. “Ah more tissue.” He’d use the missive to wipe once more . “How kind of them to send me this.”

[Qaz_The_Great 1394]

Alric smerks, as he reads the most reliable news form from the Orenian Heartland, he'd share a laugh with some of the others as they appreciate the artistic passion of the kind souls at 'The Post', previously known as 'The Holy Post'.

[RandomRhunes 177]

[!] An illiterate sprite just laughs for no apparent reason at the depiction of Daphne Dabber..