THREE FATHERS.

[Rattussmackus 597]

THREE FATHERS.

=-*-=

 

First, it was Vater.

 

She wasn’t sure.

 

His body sat before her in the grass, she sees it when she sleeps. Cold dead eyes, a perfect mirror of her own.

 

She imagines an empty field, just the two of them. He smiles gently ‘Mausbar!’ he calls to her and she runs over, small her, three year old her. Then she grows into an older her and he’s lying there lifeless. He always looked so peaceful in the grass, daisies circling his head like a crown.

 

She never wakes up when she should, allows herself to drop to her knees, screaming over his body. She screams for help but the help never seems to come.

 

She saw herself in him, her brown hair matched his. 

 

Mausbar.

 

Magda would grab at her chest, trying her hardest to breathe on that rooftop, the air around her choking her lungs as she called for him but no one came. Not anymore.

 

Mausbar.

 

The word echoes in her brain, it was a cute nickname, something she loved with all her heart but now it was a curse.

 

Mausbar.

 

Spoiler

OOC: I know I never got to interact with Friedrich as much as I should’ve but I still appreciated the rp I got. I couldn’t get round to making a good comment but maybe this makes up for it…thank you @wowsirss you were great.

 

=-*-=

 

Then it was Father.

 

Magda walked with a skip in her step towards Alisgrad, well as much joy as one could muster. She was to talk to Doc about her sleep, hopefully she would get more herbal tea for her anxiety.

 

It was Ciaran who approached her, placed a sudden hand on her shoulder which made her flinch back, recoiling into herself.

 

“Doc is dead.”

 

Her stomach lurches, though she should’ve known. Something felt wrong from the beginning, the air was thick with dread and she hadn’t been able to sleep for days.

 

“Ich am going home.” She turns to leave, she doesn’t want to stay there. It felt like the place had been cursed, everyone was dying or was it her? Did she do this? Is she the reason they’re dying?

 

Ciaran tells her to wait, that his mother had things for her that Doc wanted her to have.

 

She sat on the steps to Alisgrad, waiting as she allowed her thoughts to consume her. Why wasn’t she there? Why didn’t she hold his hand as he died? Why didn’t she get to say goodbye?

 

He left her his violin and a note. She hugged the violin like it was him, so many memories came from that singular instrument. She remembered dancing for him after begging him to sing a song during events, he was meant to guard her but she would throw a tantrum until she got a song and he gave in. A song made for her by him.

 

Astrid Blackthorn.

 

She treasured those words like she was told that all the jewels in the world were hers. It made her feel like she belonged, like she was given a home, a family. But her family was dead, he was dead.

 

She gripped her living doll sheep tightly that night, she slept for the first time in days. She slept like a child.

 

Spoiler

OOC: I had the most fun with Doc. I've rped with him since Astrid was 3 years old which was five whole months ago. Every single interaction I’ve had put the biggest damn smile on my face. I’m incredibly grateful over the way Doc has also helped Astrid grow and I’m just grateful all around. Thank you @ggooose1 you’ve been the absolute best!

 

=-*-=

 

Finally it was papa.

 

She was warned he would die but she was mad, he didn’t even want to say goodbye to her or her children.

 

He never even met her daughter. He never made a move to assure her freedom. He allowed her to be named a traitor, he allowed them to try and hunt her down. To kill her.

 

There was one memory that lingered, something that stained her memory like blood stains hands, like wine stains white sheets.

 

“Raise your arm” Astrid raised the wooden sword slightly “And slash!” She slashed the air in one fell swoop and he jumped up, lifting her in the air.

 

“Very good, my daughter!”

 

She then remembers the cold steel of his own sword against her neck. There was nothing playful about the action, no more training. No more wooden swords.

 

“You are no daughter of mine.”

 

She wasn’t quite sure what to believe, she felt betrayed but she felt the hole of loss. Why couldn’t she stick to the same emotion each time.

 

She missed him more than anyone could imagine, she missed the head pats and the compliments. What happened?

 

She became a ruthless warrior, an emotionless killer for him. In her eyes, he wanted a son, a strong man who could lead armies and become the next marshal.

 

But he got her, a traitor. A coward.

 

She just wanted him to say goodbye.

 

She just wanted him to say he was proud.

 

She just wanted him to say he loved her.

 

Was that too much to ask?

 

Spoiler

OOC: Damn this was a tough one to write. I think I felt most attached to their storyline because it felt closest to mine oocly. I think it’s time I did let it go but damn did I cry like a baby, I'm unsure if Astrid can call anyone papa, not that she could to begin with. I’ll miss Ragnvald so much, seriously. @Javert I seriously love you dude, you’ve done so much for me over what? 6 months? Thank you for everything.

 

Spoiler

OOC: This is not to be metagamed unless you actually were in the dialogue involved. HOPE I MADE SOME OF YOU CRY MWAHAHAHAHAH