THE GUARDIANS CALLING

[ThatDutchFellow 1147]

THE GUARDIANS CALLING




Preamble:
“Lo’ and Greetings to all who have come to call the Shire their home. I’d like to start by informing the entirety of the Village that I, Sheriff Hob the Beast Slayer, do voluntarily relinquish the position upon my shoulders in protecting, defending, and lawfully controlling the Shire’s safety and law. This is not to say that I abdicate my duties as Guardian, merely as Sheriff, until such time that the elections have concluded.”

"I shall not attempt to entice you all with promises and fairy tales, I wish only to inform you of the many services my person has already done for the Shire - even before the former Thain, Iris Peregrin, bestowed upon me the role of ‘Guardian of the Shire’."


[!] An artistic depiction of Hob’s Trophy room, filled with the remains of many slain darkspawn and ne’er-do-wells who assaulted the village in times past.

“I ask of you all; was it not I who exterminated the Gremlins, whose terrible fangs and wretched claws had taken control of our tunnels? The very tunnels below which the Wee-folk and Hill-Folk seek safety?”


[!] A rendering of the Gremlin head encased in glass, resting within Hob’s trophy room

“And was it not me who crawled through the skull of the Titan Lobster known as the Locusta, whose wretched poison and crushing jaws had besieged our very Harbor?”


[!] The titan eye of the terrible Locusta, scourge of the sea. This too was displayed in Hob’s Trophy Room! Wow!

“And what of the Mutant rats that had besieged our entire shire, hellbent on conquering it and robbing its safety from us Wee-Folk? Or perhaps the vicious Man-eater that had consumed our Honorary Halfling Nemea - Was it not my advances that slayed the fiends?”


[!] A preserved rat carcass, encased in glass.


[!] A bottle of Man-eater acid, yet one more trophy in the Slayer’s collection

”Now I am aware that to some, this may appear boasting. But nothing is farther from the truth! This is to show you, my fellow Wee-folk and Honorable Hill-Folk, that Hob the Beast Slayer is more than capable of defending the Shire’s bounds! In my gaze, non seeking it harm shall succeed, being they Beast or Man.

I ask you, give me a chance to prove this. To prove that a vote for Hob, is a vote for Peace in Honeyhill.”

 

Signed,

Hob the Beast Slayer, Guardian of Honeyhill






 

[Notic 953]

"Facts bro no cap fr fr this guy is awesome," Lily Peregrin said

[NotEvilAtAll 10906]

"Oi t'ink Breasal may 'ave yeh well rivaled when 't comes ter ah 'is'oreh o' pro'ec'in' Honeyhill. 'e did ge' back t'a offerin's ter Lord Knox an' all tha'." says Mimosa Applefoot.

[420alien 13]

"A vote fer Hob be a vote fer safety!" says Gilbert Bingu as he steaks another political campaign sign in front of his burrow

[Tav 4339]

"AH'LL VOTE FOR AH FELLOW GAY ALLY!" Miel CHEERED

[salamanderfantasy 1340]

"Think e's patting himself on the back a bit 'ere." Idly comments one Sorrel Peregrin, remembering the 3-5 other halflings that also killed the gremlins and rats with him.

[ThatDutchFellow 1147]

1 hour ago, salamanderfantasy said:

"Think e's patting himself on the back a bit 'ere." Idly comments one Sorrel Peregrin, remembering the 3-5 other halflings that also killed the gremlins and rats with him.

 

The Slayers Campaign office recognizes all brave wee-folk effort, Although merely tried best to remain on topic with this missive.