the thing inside of me

[Nozgoth 3083]

Spoiler

 

 

[!] A journal entry.

 

 

4th of the Grand Harvest, 102

 

the thing inside of me

 

There is something inside of me. A thing that nibbles at the corners of my mind, and chews at the walls of my stomach. I cannot let it get out.

 

It all started one morning when I met the schoolman. He was a normal man, charismatic perhaps- but even I could see through his ruse. And yet I continued to meet with him, how pivotal this mistake would come to be. For it was he that introduced me to the monster. I could not see it at the time, but I shook hands with a beast, not an angel, and I now bear its mark forever more.

 

It began as a gnawing hunger, one at first that seemed like it could be sated. So I ate, and I ate, and I ate. 

 

And one day, I met a new man - one that I had never met before. And I told him of my situation. I told him that there was once a great spirit, but no vessel was vast enough for it. So it split itself into many fragments. I told him that this spirit is in all things, but it is especially inside of me, for I am especially divine. He asked me, “if it is in all things, how could it be in you more than others”, then it dawned on me; I am more holy because I have devoured the most men, and now have the most spirit inside of me.

 

That’s right, I never could suppress the starvation. The thing inside me is always vying for control. And I am always chasing that feeling - any possibility that my hunger might be sated. My life before I met the beast was hollow and purposeless. I could never return to those ways, for I have discovered something greater. The urge to fulfill my bottomless carnal desires.

 

It’s like riding forth all day in hopes of reaching the sun, but each time you get close, the sun falls and you must try again tomorrow.

 

But I must ask - am I the beast, or am I the man? Is it a beast trapped in the heart of a man? Or could it be a man trapped in the heart of a beast? I think that sin is eternal, and has existed since existence itself. If the beast is sinful, then perhaps man has been the beast all along. Then what would that make me?
 

~ A thing with no name

Edited November 12, 2022 by Nozgoth

[Lord_of_losers 1546]

i'd like everyone to know that this line:

I am more holy because I have devoured the most men, and now have the most spirit inside of me.

 

Originally said:

"I am more holy because more men are inside of me than any other."

[Crevel 7557]

Spoiler

 

[Slorbin 2932]

******* palebeast

[Acostrob 321]

12 hours ago, Lord_of_losers said:

i'd like everyone to know that this line:

I am more holy because I have devoured the most men, and now have the most spirit inside of me.

 

Originally said:

"I am more holy because more men are inside of me than any other."

the yassification of the palebeast