esotericas 5 years AMA WOWWW

[esotericas 2674]

1 minute ago, NovumChase said:

What’s the story behind your username? And is there anywhere specific where you find your character/narrative inspiration?

 

Has been great getting to know you through NGS RP!

i used to be wowsirs but people kept calling me "wow" which really annoyed me because it's like . a word . and i was always getting confused if people were trying to get my attention or if they were just saying wow 

"esotericas" comes from a quote from ASOUE - "Life is a conundrum of esoterica" but just esoterica was taken so i stuck an S on the end!

 

and, it really depends. my roleplay style has changed a lot in the past few years. i suffered really serious burnout my senior year of high school, which has significantly affected how intensely i can engage in roleplay. i think the year before it (like 2023?) was the peak of my rp engagement - i was deeply invested in the imrpov and the real-time development of my characters. it's when i rp'ed alasdair, my favorite persona of all time, and also when manon had her most interesting and complex developments. i've sort of lost the ability to do that - i just can't engage in rp that way anymore. i'm hoping to get it back, but in the meantime, it's been tough to deal with the fact that i literally just can't make them like i used to.

 

i actually try to avoid taking too much inspiration from any one thing. i think it's really easy to fall down the hole of larping as characters who already exist, especially when you (as i do currently) are struggling with spontaneous character development. roleplay has changed a lot the last few years, and rp feels a lot less exciting and improvised than it did a few years ago - though i'm sure some of that has to do with not being so new to lotc anymore. 

 

where i get my inspiration really depends on the character i'm playing. i usually start with a core personality trait / concept, something SUPER simple, usually inspired by a book or movie, but not always. when i started alasdair, i was experimenting with how excessive empathy would affect a person, for example. the core inspiration for manon has always been "being an outsider." i do take more direct inspirations for characters too. the original inspiration for manon was auri from name of the wind. nowadays there's a lot of julian from the secret history in her. 

but i try, if at all possible, to just let rp dictate how my characters develop and who they are

8 minutes ago, PrimnyaQuorum said:

what has been ur favorite employment spot on manon.

 

What's your favorite season and why.

 

do you have cats. 

she briefly worked for the church as a spy at hallowcliffe, the naztherak lair on aevos. that was ******* awesome

 

but i do think the NGS has been so incredibly rewarding. i did a lot of pretty thankless work in haense, multiple years of grinding courts etc, with very little appreciation, other than a few kind souls who were interested in being friends with me even though i don't talk to people much oocly (ily sarah and gus) 

coming into my NGS presidency i was expecting a lot of the same - a lot of forum post grinding with very little appreciation, but it has been so incredibly refreshing and inspiring to be brought into such a wonderful community, and to be so supported. i'd spent a long time trying to find groups that TRULY only cared about good rp, with little success, and it's been incredibly fun to help revive the NGS, and to make it into that very group. i feel really lucky to be able to bring others into the same community i always wanted, and to be able to work alongside the LEGENDS that have made it what it is. 

 

autumn is my favorite season always. i lived on the east coast of the US for many years, and the summers there are too hot for my fragile soul. fall is BEAUTIFUL and i love the chilly-but-not-freezing weather and i LOVE halloween. and pumpkin themed food. also i very specifically LOVE the smell of decaying fall leaves, when it's like kind of sweet you know?? ugh. truly the best.

 

i do not currently have any cats, although i used to. my beloved sam passed away while i was at boarding school. i miss him every day. once i'm out of uni and have a stable income, i will be getting a cat again, but i don't want to get one until then lest i be stuck with crippling vet bills (rip my sister, that happened to her. kitty is totally fine but it was like almost a thousand dollars down the drain) 

 

[AndrewTech 3329]

So you've been here for five years... My sincere condolences 😢

 

Jokes aside though, I've two questions for you:

 

1.) You've run around with a lot of different groups and done a lot of different things on LotC. That's always been one of the things I've admired about you, your ability to transcend cliques, and it's a trait that I've also been told that I have. What have your favorite experiences been throughout the years since you joined the server, how have things changed, and what would you like to see or do moving forward?

2.) Looking back, is there anything that you'd do differently if given the chance? Do you have any regrets about your time on the server, any groups you wished you were involved with or things you could go back and change?

Anyway, congrats on five years! And thank you sincerely for doing everything that you have to make the NGS successful and continue carrying on its banner for everyone it matters so much to.

[esotericas 2674]

11 minutes ago, sarahbarah said:

genuinely so glad to have known you these last 5 years on lotc, from norland to haense to empiyah, it's been an absolute pleasure

 

whats your fav post youve ever written?

you are truly one of the angels of lotc. i don't know if i would have survived in haense without you

 

these two are my favorites. i don't know that the second one is actually my best writing, but it DOES make me actually cry every time i read it, which i think is a sign of a well-written farewell post

 

[SethWolf 2340]

Hi Eso, I don't really have any unique or interesting questions but I wanted to drop in and say thanks for building my favorite character ever with me. Our times in deguise really made me appreciate non-combative rp and what it could bring. 

[xo31 3979]

single favorite jvb song 

[esotericas 2674]

1 minute ago, AndrewTech said:

So you've been here for five years... My sincere condolences 

 

Jokes aside though, I've two questions for you:

 

1.) You've run around with a lot of different groups and done a lot of different things on LotC. That's always been one of the things I've admired about you, and it's a trait that I've also been told that I have. What have your favorite experiences been throughout the years since you joined the server, how have things changed, and what would you like to see or do moving forward?

2.) Looking back, is there anything that you'd do differently if given the chance? Do you have any regrets about your time on the server, any groups you wished you were involved with or things you could go back and change?

Anyway, congrats on five years! And thank you sincerely for doing everything that you have to make the NGS successful and continue carrying on its banner for everyone it matters so much to.

 

i think one of my most powerful blessings (and greatest hindrances) on lotc has been my absolute disinterest in ooc communities, and my complete inability to maintain ooc relationships after the roleplay ones end. it's why i've spent so much time going from community to community - i like truly going wherever calls to my personas, instead of just sticking with the people and places i'm used to. it's made it a lot harder to maintain friendships (so i'm very grateful for the many folks i CAN call my good friends) but i do feel really lucky to have experienced so many different things. 

 

my favorite experience of this type of all time was when alasdair was eleven. for family drama reasons, he ran away from home, and ended up spontaneously coming upon adria circa late 2022. it was the fastest i'd ever been welcomed into a community with zero ooc labor. they immediately got me involved in multiple avenues of roleplay, and there was never a dull moment the entire time he lived there. it really showed me how much power a community like that can have, and i will absolutely never forget it.

 

my big piece of advice is that people need to stop conflating irp allegiance to ooc allegiance (and to stop caring about ooc allegiance?? like who GAF we're playing barbies). especially in the wake of this whole war, i've heard so much sentiment on all sides connecting those two - and i think it would open people up to so much more interesting rp if they could let that go. 

 

 

there is a LOT i'd do differently. i lacked a lot of social awareness in my Youth on lotc (joined when i was fifteen) and there were a lot of mistakes i made that i really really regret looking back on them. definitely some friendships ruined that didn't need to be ruined. mostly, however, i think i should have taken a chance to pk manon a while ago. i ADORE her, and i don't *want* her to die ever, but at this point in her life, i don't know that she ever will - and i don't think i can quit lotc if she's still alive. and i really want to be free of this miserable server. i refuse to let her have a death that isn't narratively satisfying, so i think now she's doomed to live forever lmao. 

 

thank YOU for making the NGS!! i truly have some incredibly large boots to fill, and i feel so lucky to have gotten the chance to try em on :) 

7 minutes ago, SethWolf said:

Hi Eso, I don't really have any unique or interesting questions but I wanted to drop in and say thanks for building my favorite character ever with me. Our times in deguise really made me appreciate non-combative rp and what it could bring. 

thank YOU for all our rp seth. it truly forever changed manon and her character, and i feel so lucky to have gotten to tell that story with you :) 

someday we will rp again and it will be SO FIRE!!!! 

8 minutes ago, xo31 said:

single favorite jvb song 

 

[Naufragium 614]

Congrats on five years in the pit of evil. It has been excellent knowing you throughout the last few. I am very fortunate to get to roleplay with you and enact schemes, when the real world doesn't besiege me with its demons (j*b). I am looking forward to more years of paranormal bouquets. 

Favorite skin? Favorite husband..

And why are both green..

 

[esotericas 2674]

6 minutes ago, Naufragium said:

Congrats on five years in the pit of evil. It has been excellent knowing you throughout the last few. I am very fortunate to get to roleplay with you and enact schemes, when the real world doesn't besiege me with its demons (j*b). I am looking forward to more years of paranormal bouquets. 

Favorite skin? Favorite husband..

And why are both green..

 

favorite skin is manon's wedding dress which you STILL HAVEN'T SEEN BTW. JSYK!!!
but also i really like this one that dev made for the gala :) 

my favorite husband..? 

 

who could say.........

 

 

 

 

[Urahra 5776]

WHO is your favorite member of the NGS and why is it Tanith?

[esotericas 2674]

2 minutes ago, Urahra said:

WHO is your favorite member of the NGS and why is it Tanith?

my favorite member of the NGS is TANITH VURSUR! 

[Urahra 5776]

I ASKED WHY

 

PLEASE PREPARE A FIVE PARAGRAPH ESSAY

 

Jkjkjk

 

I'll ask a serious question now -- 

 

Compare and contrast how Manon started vs. where she is currently in RP. Did you expect her to end up where she is today? What were your goals/intentions when you started her vs. now?

 

 

[esotericas 2674]

1 minute ago, Urahra said:

I ASKED WHY

 

PLEASE PREPARE A FIVE PARAGRAPH ESSAY

 

Jkjkjk

 

I'll ask a serious question now -- 

 

Compare and contrast how Manon started vs. where she is currently in RP. Did you expect her to end up where she is today? What were your goals/intentions when you started her vs. now?

 

 

WORLDS apart, truly! i don't really start characters with goals - usually i try and let them come around organically.

i can't be too specific because there's some manon deeplore that you should learn irp, but she has basically taken a complete 180 from who she used to be. 

in her younger years, she was intensely isolated, and completely mistrusting of everyone around her (still true) but it led her to really set herself away from intense social ties. she had very few friends, and had absolutely nobody that she *relied on* because she was constantly paranoid they would discover her dark secret and abandon her. it left her very disconnected from the world around her, and eventually developed into a sort of low empathy + deep violent desires type of complex, which led her down a really dark path for a good few decades.

into her more adult years, 50s or so, she finally found a way to take control of her life that didn't put her in constant danger, and she started to actually get to know herself a bit more, but she remained really intensely manipulative of others. she had very little respect for people she deemed less enlightened/intelligent than her (almost everyone) and became convinced that "nothing she did actually affected the world" so it didn't matter if she used people or hurt people. 

 

it took a really tragic series of events to make her realize just how much she was hurting people around her, and when she finally did, it was so disturbing to her that she entered literal psychosis for a few years because she couldn't cope with the idea of just how *much* she had hurt people who had loved and trusted her. she did eventually recover, and it was only really then that she actually learned to be genuinely caring and loving, and to be a good person. before then it was always with the underlying intention of using people for her own gain or entertainment. nowadays, although she can still be catty or unkind or even violent, i think she has become a fundamentally good person, which she wasn't before

[The Tough Guy 4319]

lowkey can you absolutely destroy sarahbarah for me

[esotericas 2674]

3 minutes ago, The Tough Guy said:

lowkey can you absolutely destroy sarahbarah for me

never. i would die for sarahbarah.

[Toffee 2843]

Deguise/the NGS is one of the few communities on the server with a genuine interest in honouring the history and building on what/who has come before. This is pretty rare to see on a server where the main goal appears to be ripping everything down, erasing people and their efforts, and installing something new in its place (which will then inevitably get destroyed by the next person who comes along, rinse and repeat ad infinitum).

 

In your view, what can the rest of the LOTC community learn from the ethos of the NGS? What are your tips and tricks for making roleplay collaborative storytelling rather than a game that needs to be won?

 

(Also, obligatory fave Erika/Manon moment teehee)