The Death Of Guraim

[Ever 2648]

[[While I certainly don't believe what Pugsy did was respectable or right, I really enjoyed RPing with him and his character, Guraim. I wanted to give his character an end that seemed fitting. He was one of my favorite bandits; I could always get a good laugh outta his antics. Hopefully I caught the spirit of his character good enough. ]]

"Oh Alyssur, ya in there?", called out Guraim as he nonchalantly stabbed the bloodstained blade through the closed tent flaps. The shrouded dwarf held his position for a moment, snickering as he listened for any signs of life, or life soon passing away, from within the tent. His grin soon faded and was replaced with a frown. He pulled his blade free of the wool, sheathed it, then poked his head through the hole. "Bah! Alyssur! Wanted to tell you about all those people I just got done stabbing!" Guraim withdrew from the tent, drained the bottle in his hand, then casually flung it over the side. "Too busy wit yer Ouity at the "druid grove". Bah! Nuttin' but tree huggers. Shoulda gave that baby to me! Guraim Jr. Woulda been da best sidekick da world's never seen 'afore." He entertained himself with the thought for a few moments before finally deciding against it; It'd be far too hard to stitch a matching outfit for a child that size. Maybe when he was older Guraim would kidnap him. Or stab him. Either choice would have angered Alyssi, which was fine with him. He snickered again as he made his way down the mountain ramparts with a new destination in mind: the Druid Grove.

The blade easily sawed through the druidic library's mushroom roof. Guraim let the hunk of mushroom roof fall to grassy floor then coolly poked his head in and scanned the small room. It was empty, except for a dedicant who sat petrified in a corner of the room, a book clutched between his shaking hands. "'Ey! You! Seen Alyssur? Or Ouity? 'ow 'bout their kid? 'ere, lemme give ya an impression." Guraim gave the dedicant his best baby impression, which was rather spot on. He snickered again, only like Guraim could snicker. "I'll take that assa no, den. If ya see 'em, stab 'em for me. Or say hullo. One o' dem." Guraim stomped around on the spongy roof a bit before growing bored and dashing off the roof onto a nearby tree. "These clothes give meh climbin' powers!", he called back to the wide-eyed dedicant who stood in the doorway, book laying at his feet.

Guraim pokes the half full bottle with a grin. "'n then I told 'im that my clothes gave me climbin' powers! The idiot bought it! Dem druids, so stupid! Guess it's 'cus they hug dem trees all day. Messes wif their brain or somethin'. Sap slows it down, I'd assume." He took a swig then sprayed it all over the face of the figure that stood opposite him on the gravel path. "Alyssur! Didn't think I'd find ya 'ere! I got shooo much good newsh ta tell ya!", said Guraim as he wiped dry the woman's alcohol-covered face. "Shuch perfect timing too! Dead o' night, erryone is sleepin'! Maybe we can go kill some sleepin' peoples later. Bah! Who knowsh, got a whole night ahead o' us!" Alyssi merely stared blankly back at the drunk dwarf. "Aww, dun look at me like that Alyssur! I might have to get angry on you!" Another snicker, another swig. Alyssi laid a gloved finger on the dwarf's forehead then gingerly pushed him backwards on the path.

Guraim hiccuped then frowned under his half mask. "Fiiiine, ya dun wanna kill people. At leasht lemme tell ya about all the peoplesh I killed?" Guraim continued before she could answer. "So, I wush in Alrash. Know where dat's at? Meh, doeshn't matter, movin' on. So I walk in and shtart stabbin', and everyone is screamin' 'Guraim! No! Dun shtab me! Argh, it hurtsh!' So, of course I shtab them some more. Then they're like 'Guraim! Blrhghgllghgl!' And they're lyin' on the ground, flippin' and turnin', blood squirtin' all over. Shoulda seen it! Good times, Alyssur, good times!" Alyssi's blank expression had gradually shifted to one of disgust throughout the course of the story. Guraim sighed and rolled his eyes at her response. "Fiiine, 'ow 'bout I showed ya somethin' I learned, then?"

Guraim pointed at one of the torches that lined the road and took another swig of ale. He carefully sat the bottle on the ground and stumbled about, flailing his arms and stomping his feet. When it seemed he had finished, he spat the alcohol in his mouth at the torch, spraying flames on the closest elm whose dry branches greedily accepted the offering. Guraim proudly patted his chest and smiled. "I call 'dat 'Walkin' the Dragon.'" At this, Alyssi took a step forward at slapped the dwarf across his face. She picked him up by the pits of his arms and stared into his eyes, shouting. "Jaw stulta! Jaw gonna burn down entire forest! And jaw kill people, too! Bah, stulta, stulta, stulta! Jaw even say jaw is going to hurt Alyssi baby? What jaw say for jaw self?!" Guraim's eyes gazed off into the distance at the spreading inferno. "Allow meh to retort." In a lightning quick motion he unsheathed Angry from its booth sheathe and sunk the blade into Alyssi's shoulder. Alyssi's reaction came just as fast; she dropped Pugsy in a cry of pain and punted the short bastard, sending him flying into nearby tree's trunk.

And, like that, Guraim was dead. The force of the impact had broke his neck, instantly killing him. Alyssi pulled out the short blade with a grunt and tossed it at the lifeless corpse with a frown. "Jaw could have been good friend, but jaw stulta..." She sulked off down the road, away from the growing inferno, hand clutching her wounded shoulder.

Ingot knelt over the ethereal Guraim and extended her hand to pull him up. Guraim pulled himself up then stared at Ingot's face. "Oh. It's you." He thought for a moment, nose scrunched. "'m dead, ain't I?" Ingot slowly nodded with a grin. "Apparently, the monks were givin' strict orders NOT ta revive ya this time 'round. Musta done somethin' real bad this, ya dumb bastard." Guraim only nodded and grinned. "Wanna hear about this new dance I made?" Ingot stared at him for a moment then sent a jab right into his nose, sending Guraim to the ground. "

"'Ey! That hurt! Or, I think it did. I ain't too sure, I'll get back ta ya. Wut was that for?"

"I thought ya, of all people, would know better than ta 'urt my Annabelle OR my child."

Guraim only snickered then raised himself back to his feet.

Ingot sighed. "So, what was that new dance you were talkin' about?"

[everblue2er101 906]

((What is this I don't even...

I always love your stories :D ))

[Swgrclan 2682]

((BOOYAH. PUGSEH DOIN' THE DINO-GHOST WALK.))

[argonian 14254]

((Great story! What did he do anyway?))

[ℓαтєяяє ~ 236]

((-cries-))

((Great story))

[susitsu 871]

((Guraim would have went down bringing whoever it was with him, I r disappoint Ever. And to add to that it would have been in an all out battle where he's completely drunk.))

[Ever 2648]

[｡◕‿‿◕｡ Hawk Whitestorm 715]

((Great story! What did he do anyway?))

He did a Da_Emperors in Alras []

[Aislin 4354]

He did a Da_Emperors in Alras []

What?

[Recklez 45]

Why cant you guys just say what the F*** he did?!

Everybody is like "Oh, yeh when I leave serv me go do a pugsy lolol*trollface*"

And then i'm like... "what?"

[Coaster 2086]

I'll miss ma bud.

[Bircalin 332]

(( He went on a killing spree.

[｡◕‿‿◕｡ Hawk Whitestorm 715]

He ran into Alras and started killing everyone. Da_Emperors did that, except not in Alras []

[susitsu 871]

((I'm not gonna tell a bunch of ragey jerks. Improve attitude and you will learn.))

Edit: ((Sigh.))

[steelersfan1221 300]

Moved to the Great Library. It shall be sorted into appropriate category shortly.