[Denied]Sulsagamer's Application

[sulsagamer 0]

[]Human
Out-Of-Character Information
Please fill out the following questions as accurately as possible, and ensure the essential details are accurate.

Minecraft Account Name: sulsagamer
How old are you?: 14
Time-Zone: US, Mountain Time
Have you read, understood and agreed to the rules?: Yes.
What previous experience have you had in role-playing?: I have had a account on your server before and want to play on it again.
How did you hear about the the Lord of the Craft?: I heard about it long ago on youtube.
Link any applications that you have previously made for the server:
Have you posted this application on the Minecraft Forum? If not, then please do so (link above):
Have you read the Human lore, and shall you ensure you make use of it and follow it in your biography?: Yes.

Definitions
In your own words define the following terms. Do not take any definitions from elsewhere!:

Role-playing: Pretending to be a different person, taking on their personality and moods.
Meta-gaming: Using outside game info in-game.
Power-emoting: Emoting something that doesn't give the other person a chance to do anything about it. Example: *Takes 100 gold from Bob's pocket*

In-Character Information:
Complete the following biography on your character:

Full Name: Sulrek Hoodson
Current Age: 22
Sub-race (if any): Northern
Past / History (include childhood, major-events, etc. 2+ paragraphs long): I was born and raise in Oren. My father loved fighting, it was what he did for fun. My mother was warm hearted and kind. She always tried to help when she could. I was 11 years old when my dad started teaching me how to handle a sword and bow. By 15 I was pretty good. I could protect myself when I found myself in bad situations. When I was 17 my mother died from a pack of Orcs. Me and my father tried to defend her but it didn't do much against all these Orcs. My father signaled we should run so we ran off into the wilderness. We returned after we were sure they would of lost interest in us. When I was 21 my father died from old age and I was left alone with no family.
Ambitions for the Future: I want to be one of the best warriors Asulon has ever seen.
Personality: I am brave, noble, and always ready for adventure.
Skills: I am great with swords and good with a bow. I have amazing unarmed skills that let me be able to defend myself well even without a sword.
Appearance (this must include an in-game screenshot of your skin): I am a shouthern with pale skin and orange hair. I wear dark lether shoes and light lether pants and shirt. I am 5ft 11in tall with a muscular build. I have deep blue eyes and a short beard.
Any other details you wish to share about your character:

Open-Response-Questions
Each question in this section must be answered with a minimum of one paragraph which must describe the event in full. Please be as descriptive as possible and do not break character or lore at any point.
____

1. Whilst in the mighty human capital you notice a dark-clothed figure stealthily making his way towards the Emperor’s palace - he is clearly up to no good. There are guards within shouting distance - what do you do?

Answer: I would walk over to him and ask him what he was up to. He would reply nothing much. I would persist and ask where are you heading? He would say nothing and contiune to move away from me. I would grab his shoulder and say why in such a hurry? He would turn around and take out a dagger. He would swipe at me and I would dodge it and punch him in the nose, causing his eyes to water. I would then upper cut him, knocking him out and then getting the guards to deal with him from there.

2. Whilst wandering in the deep oak forest you come across a large clearing, in which sits a small cobbled cottage. Outside it stands an unstable old man armed with a small iron blade, surrounded by two heavily armed bandits - they appear to be threatening him. You are armed with leather armour and an iron longsword, how do you react?

Answer: I would approach quietly and listen in. After I knew the old man was in danger I would jump out and swiped at them with my sword. They would jab at me with their weapons and I would dodge. They would slice at me and their swipe would cut my chest. I would stuble backwards and then launch off the ground towards them. They would slash at my chest again but I would dodge. One would go behind me and stab in in the back. I would fall to my knees. They would close in then I would launch myself off the ground and into the bandit in front of me, knocking him to the ground. The other bandit would slash at me but I would move and he would slash the other bandit in the chest. I would turn around and stab the bandit in the stomach. He falls to the ground dead. Then I would do the same to the other bandit on the ground. After defeating the bandits I would ask the old man if he was ok and he would reply I wouldn't of if he wouldn't have come. I would then contiune with my journey.

3. You are standing within the mighty human capital when you notice a small man standing behind a colourful stall. You approach the stall and notice that the man is selling a variety of general goods - he says that he is selling just about anything and that he has no set prices. He is willing to allow you to haggle and choose prices. What do you do? (Explain: your haggling, items of choice and the discussion that happens).

Answer: I would approach this man and ask if he had any iron swords or bows I could buy. He would say yes and bring out a iron sword and a bow. Both looking in great condition. He would say 50 for the sword and 40 for the bow. I would says how about 80 for both of them? He would say 85 for both. I would then think over this for a moment and say that sounds good. He hands you your weapons and you hand him the 85 minas. I say goodbye and he says see ya. I then walk away to contiune with my daily doings.

[cruzazul 2815]

 

Your application has been denied, here's what needs to be improved.

 

• Expand on all of your definitions. I am not sure if you know them 100%. Add lengthier examples and also explain what they mean in more depth.
• Saying your mother was killed by orcs is incredibly mainstream and I would definitely suggest not using it.
•  Go into more detail when describing your character's appearance and personality. What you described is incredibly vague and doesn't paint a very good picture to the reader.
• Expand a bit on your first ORQ. Also it seems like you are making your character a bit over-powered in the first ORQ, you may want to change that a bit to show a more realistic circumstance.
• Your other two ORQs also show that your character may be powergaming some. It is hard to dodge that many attacks. Also after being stabbed in the back it would be pretty hard to kill someone.
• The ORQ are close to being villainous apps but they also may be provoked. Which is a way that you are allowed to kill someone without a VA.
• Add some more lore to your bio and lengthen it a bit. If you need help finding the human lore go here. http://www.lordofthecraft.net/wiki/wikka.php?wakka=Humans

Please wait 24 hours before reapplying. If you have any questions don't be afraid to shoot me a PM.

[cruzazul 2815]

Moved to Denied Forum