[Denied][Dwarf] Qiwimarvin V.3.0

[QiwiMarvin 2]

Out-Of-Character Information
Please fill out the following questions as accurately as possible, and
ensure the essential details are accurate.

Minecraft Account Name: QiwiMarvin
How old are you?: 17
Time-Zone: UTC/GMT +4 hours
Have you read, understood and agreed to the rules?: Yes
What previous experience have you had in role-playing?: I've played on iRolePlay Server(one of the best russian role play servers)
How did you hear about the the Lord of the Craft?: I tried to found role play server for me and my friend and found your server by video on youtube.
Link any applications that you have previously made for the server:

http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/87189-denieddwarf-qiwimarvin/
http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/87120-dwarf-qiwimarvin/

Have you posted this application on the Minecraft Forum? If not, then please do so (link above):

 http://www.minecraftforum.net/topic/832121-the-lord-of-the-craft-enter-the-world-of-anthos-officially-t-h-e-1-roleplay-server/page__st__2960#entry22231693

Have you read the Dwarven lore, and shall you ensure you make use of it and follow it in your biography?: Yes, of course.

Definitions
In our own words define the following terms. Do not take any definitions from elsewhere!:

Role-playing: For me it's like playing in a theater. You choose a role for yourself, get used to it. All your actions, emotions must match the role.
Meta-gaming: Metagaming is to use the information obtained, not by acting out my role.

Power-emoting: Power emoting for me is the abuse of actions relative to other players so
that they can not respond to you in any way.

In-Character Information:
Complete the following biography on your character:

Full Name: Jansen Bralson
Current Age: 113
Sub-race (if any): Forest Dwarf
Clan (if any): None
Past / History (include childhood, major-events, etc. 2+ paragraphs long):

    I was born in a small village at the foot of the mountains. My father was a fisherman. The mother was a housewife. Also I had a grandmother who told me stories about my great-great grandfather who fought in

the Battle of the Sands. Since childhood, I was a loner. Did not like the big companies, and my circle of friends consisted of Garth's my dog ​​and two neighborhood kids. As a child, my father used to take me fishing, because of this I have become very good fisherman. He wanted me to continue his work, but I did not like it. I do not
know what I wanted to do, but I was sure that the fish until the end of time is not my destiny. I'll tell you a story from my childhood, which has turned the ordinary course of things.

    When I had a free minute I ran to a nearby yard to play with the neighbor kids. We played four of us: me, Garth, and two neighborhood kids. We decided to go to a nearby grove of trees and play hide and seek there. I played hide and seek very well, I've always found a good place to hide, this talent often helped me in the future. We played for about an hour, when they noticed that Garth's not around. Usually, he ran around the area until we played, after I called him and together we ran to the house. But at that time he did not answer. My friends decided to help me in finding him. We searched the woods, but it was not there. It was beginning to get dark. In
the distance, beyond the grove, we saw the glow over the hill. Crept closer, we found that it is staying overnight travelers. We decided to ask them if they had seen Garth. We came to the camp. Coming closer, we found that the mysterious travelers armed. Then we realized that it's not just travelers, but it was too late. They grabbed my friends and have been rushed to me, but I was able to react and run away. I was ashamed of my behavior. I thought a lot about how in my place would have done the other dwarf. For example <Darain Blackaxe> (second Grand Tournament Champion). I do not think he would have escaped. I returned home after midnight. That
night all the men of the village are able to hold a gun went in search of the bandits, but they found no one. This story will forever remain in my memory. The story of my shame. 

    After this history I was even more withdrawn into myself and became a loner. After my parents died(they died of plague), I sold the paternal house and hit the road.

    At this point the story ends, what happens next is up to you.

Ambitions for the Future: Find yourself in this life and to remove the burden of shame from my shoulders. I want to take part in the Great Hunt. I also want to keep a diary of my adventures.
Personality: loner, gloomy, brooding
Skills: My main skills are stealth and fishing
Appearance (this must include an in-game screenshot of your skin): http://imgur.com/P4N9mRp
Any other details you wish to share about your character: 

Open-Response-Questions
Each question in this section must be answered with a minimum of one paragraph which must describe
the event in full. Please be as descriptive as possible and do not break character or lore at any point.

____
 

1. Whilst mining deep in the undergrounds of Kalos you see a large deposit of diamond ore at the  ther side of the ravine you are on. There is a very thin rock bridge that looks precariously unstable, but it is the only way to access the deposit. What do you do?

Answer: 

    While traveling through the caves, I once found a diamond deposits on the other side of the gorge. Cross over to the other side could only be on thin and unstable bridge of stone. Realizing that cross
the bridge I can not cross I decided drew in charcoal on the ceiling and broke the bridge. I returned to the same spot the next day, with a long solid oak board. Hooking the board through the gorge, and took off his backpack. I went to the board and crawled to the other side. After moving to the other side, I realized that I forgot to pick on the other side. Going back with a pick I found a very unpleasant surprise: it was not the deposits of precious diamonds, it turned out that it gleamed so vsegolish lapis lazuli from my torch. Of course, I was upset, but lapis lazuli is better than nothing. I
decided to sell it to the jeweler in the nearest town.

2. You are sitting in the local tavern with a large pint of ale in your hand - sitting nearby you is a rather young dwarf whom is clearly going through a bad time. He is crying to himself, and clutching a small wooden hammer toy. In the other corner of the room two shady dwarves are sitting whispering to each other and pointing occasionally at the dwarf. They stand up, one with a small dagger in his hand and beginto approach the young dwarf. What do you do?

Answer:
"Hey, kid, do not want to treat the two hard workers after a hard day?", uttered one of the gnomes.

"I do not think so", replied the young dwarf.

"But my friend did not agree with that", said the second dwarf.

    Jansen left the table, and immediately left the tavern. Out on the street Janssen called the nearest guard. Briefly explaining the guard situation in the tavern. Together with the guard returned to the
tavern. It was not too late. For two bullies guards appearance was a surprise and diminished his ardor they immediately left the tavern. Young dwarf thanked the unknown savior unpretentious  conversation over a mug ale. This story reminded Janssen story from his childhood, but this time he has helped and prevented a terrible end.


3. Whilst wandering through the Dwarven Caverns you hear a voice call out to you; “Oi, ye’! C’mere n’get ye’rself an ale!”. You spin on your heel and see a heavily bearded bar-owner looking at you - a huge grin on his face, and a mug of ale in his hand. How do you react?

Answer: 

"Greetings to you, of course I do not mind a drink of ale for free"

    Janssen went to the tavern. The tavern was empty and bleak. Burned a fireplace in the middle of a large hall and a candle at the bar. Innkeeper spent Janssen to a place in the corner. And he gave a huge mug of ale. In the circle there were at least two pints of ale. After drinking ale Janssen felt his eyelids lowered eyes. And he fell asleep immediately.
    He woke up too late at night (when he went to the tavern, it was noon). The first thing he realized that he had cut the purse and disappeared inherited from a great-great grandfather's sword scabbard (Janssen wore a simple iron sword which costs 5 minas)

 

[ski_king3 0]

Under Review

 

 

Your meta-gaming definition was still incorrect, and your power-emoting definition seems like you know what it is, yet it is phrased somewhat oddly. I'd suggest reworking the phrasing of it.

 

Your bio contains server lore, yet it doesn't entirely match your character. Your bio seems more like that of a human's, when your character is in fact a forest dwarf. Forest dwarves are typically very keen on nature, something I don't really feel is reflected in your app. Also, the lore you use seems to show less of an understanding of the server, and more a few small events you found in a few minutes of browsing the forums. I would very strongly suggest spending about an hour on the wiki trying to get a bit of information on the server. Another person you may want to message to learn more about forest dwarves is saviordude. He's a GM who I am sure would be more than pleased to help you.

 

Similarly, I think your ORQ's could use a bit of work to match the personality of a forest dwarf, although I think the fact that your character does not fight in the second ORQ was quite good. Also, I'd suggest reformatting these to make them easier to read, if you can.

 

If you have any questions, feel free to PM me. You may reapply in 24 hours.

[ski_king3 0]

Moved to Denied Forum