[Denied][Cavern Dwarf] Patar15

[patar15 0]

[b]Out-Of-Character Information[/b]
Please fill out the following questions as accurately as possible, and ensure the essential details are accurate.

Minecraft Account Name: patar15
How old are you?: 16
Time-Zone: EST
Have you read, understood and agreed to the rules?: yes
What previous experience have you had in role-playing?: Dungeon Realms Role-play server Us-11
How did you hear about the the Lord of the Craft?: on the Dungeon Realms forums here: http://www.dungeonrealms.net/forum/showthread.php?13749-Dungeon-Realms-Role-Play
Link any applications that you have previously made for the server: no.
Have you posted this application on the Minecraft Forum? If not, then please do so (link above): I will once I'm done filling out this application on this site.
Have you read the Dwarven lore, and shall you ensure you make use of it and follow it in your biography?: yes I have. It gave me more information than I knew about Dwarves

Definitions
In your own words define the following terms. Do not take any definitions from elsewhere!:

Role-playing: playing as a fictional character
Meta-gaming:  you knowing something about your character out of game that your character in the game does not know about and using it to your advantage. 
Power-emoting: putting A strong, weak, or any strength character in a bad situation and they have no control of whats going to happen.

In-Character Information:
Complete the following biography on your character:

Full Name: Kevster Goldbludgeon
Current Age: beginning of my Fourth cycle. In human years:22
Sub-race (if any): Cavern Dwarf
Clan (if any): planning to join one. (maybe)
Past / History (include childhood, major-events, etc. 2+ paragraphs long):[/b]

    Before my grandpapy was born our family was the richest of Kal'Urguan, Kal'Urguan. My parents have told me of many of these stories. I was inspired by my ancestry so much that I'm going to get my family's riches any way I can. I finally got my family's riches back at the age of two (cycles). I was walking back to my home to my home nation Holm and (something That I never heard of,) a rogue mage robbed me and put a curse on me for my whole entire second and third cycle. I cannot leave Holm or earn money this whole entire time. When I told my family what happened they started to cry. Not just only because of the lost of money, but because of what I did to get it. They treated me like a king for maybe one-seventh of a cycle.

   I loved being treated like this because in my first cycle I was a hiccup (skinniest of all the kids) and I was made fun of. I studied in mining and being a merchant trying to find the most efficient way to make money. Three-fourths of the way in my first cycle I have started on my adventure. I have travel to the nearest town and started my business as a worker of any kind that I can do at my age. When I was cursed for my second and third cycle I studied more in mining and being a merchant and any other way I can make money. This period of my life was the most boring part, But now my birthday is coming up and it will be my fourth cycle I can finally leave Holm and make regain my family's riches. Maybe, hopefully I can get revenge on that rogue mage that cursed me. I hope your scared mage, because the first thing I'm going to kill is you.
Ambitions for the Future: to make the largest economic empire "anyone has ever known".
Personality: very stubborn Dwarf that will do anything to get his family's riches back even
Skills: Mining and trading 
Appearance (this must include an in-game screenshot of your skin):With armor as a prop:

<a href="http://imgur.com/j8SkMK8"><img src="http://i.imgur.com/j8SkMK8.png" title="Hosted by imgur.com"/></a>

Without armor as a prop:

<a href="http://imgur.com/gKsJmiV"><img src="http://i.imgur.com/gKsJmiV.png" title="Hosted by imgur.com"/></a>

Any other details you wish to share about your character:
I might even make my own inn, but still debating on it.
[b]Open-Response-Questions[/b]
[i]Each question in this section must be answered with a minimum of one paragraph which must describe the event in full. Please be as descriptive as possible and do not break character or lore at any point.[/i]
____

[b]1. Whilst mining deep in the undergrounds of Kalos you see a large deposit of diamond ore at the other side of the ravine you are on. There is a very thin rock bridge that looks precariously unstable, but it is the only way to access the deposit. What do you do?[/b]

Answer: "Hmm seems way to dangerous for me to cross by myself. Maybe I can scam people some people to go get it for me." I say I go back up to the surface to get more people in the tavern, but before I do I get a contract to make a scam legal.

[i enter the tavern] "hey I have a great deal for some fearless treasure hunter. They will get all the money and glory you can imagine."

"I will take the challenge puny hiccup. What do I have to do?" says the strongest person in the tavern.

"Just sign this contract here" I say. He looks at the contract  and sees that he has to read a lot so he skips the reading and he signs it.

"Great I say now all you have to do is hire some people with your money to carry this contract out."

"You puny little..." just as he was about to punch me in the face I say

"Its part of the contract itself"

"Fine" with a mean look on his face. So we go down with the people he hired into the mines and he mines the diamond and he gives them to me. once he does that I said

"Great now you get nothing"

"Umm..... NO!"

"Its part of the contract. Nice doing business with YOU!"

[b]2. You are sitting in the local tavern with a large pint of ale in your hand - sitting nearby you is a rather young dwarf whom is clearly going through a bad time. He is crying to himself, and clutching a small wooden hammer toy. In the other corner of the room two shady dwarves are sitting whispering to each other and pointing occasionally at the dwarf. They stand up, one with a small dagger in his hand and begin to approach the young dwarf. What do you do?[/b]

Answer:

"Hey you!" I say

"Me?"

"Yes you! come with me!" I pull on his arm and leave the tavern as fast as I can.

"Why are you doing this? where are you taking me?"

"Those two men were about to kill you. I'm taking you anywhere that is safe"

"Oh no! your going to get killed as well. Just leave me here please."

"No! i'm not going to let you die"

"Please! they already killed my friends and family I have nothing to live for *weeps more*"

"No life is worth leaving behind to die for any reason and on top of that I'm willing to be your friend and maybe my family can adopt you as their own kin." we run to my home in Holm and change his name so he can start a whole new life.

[b]3. Whilst wandering through the Dwarven Caverns you hear a voice call out to you; “Oi, ye’! C’mere n’ get ye’rself an ale!”. You spin on your heel and see a heavily bearded bar-owner looking at you - a huge grin on his face, and a mug of ale in his hand. How do you react?[/b]

Answer:

"Who are you?" I say.

"I'm a bar-owner of course the greatest in the land. I'm surprised you never heard of me"

"That's because bar-owners aren't that famous." *with the look of >.> on my face*

"I'm Kakashi. Remember me now"

"Yeah I do actually. I read about you in books that I have studied"

"I'm the one and only!"

"Why are you down here?"

"I got knocked out and mugged and I lost everything and I don't know how to get out."

"Come on I can show you the way out If you can teach me how to make the most money out of being a bar-owner"

"Sure, I'll do anything to get out of here in fact I will not only just Teach you how to make money, but I will make you my apprentice."

I work as kakahi's apprentice for several years then I continues my journey to get my family's riches back.

[cruzazul 2815]

 

Unfortunately your application has been denied. Below are suggestions I have listed that you should implement into your application before reapplying.

 

Your roleplaying and power-emoting definitions are incorrect.

 

Having your character cursed to a city does not follow lore and is as far as I know impossible. Also, Holm was destroyed when we left Asulon and ventured to Anthos. That is another reason why that would not work.

 

Describe your character in more detail. With what you have said I do not really get a good picture of how he looks, thinks, and acts. Add onto that and explain even the minor details. They can help a lot when describing your character in general. Painting the reader a picture when listing the tenancies and personality as well as look of your character can be an enormous help when trying to understand what your character is.

 

Expand on your second ORQ.

 

I'd like to see you format all of your ORQs differently. Try to stray away from the whole list idea. Make it more like a paragraph. I would also like to see you add more emotes into the answers. It is good to have dialogue but emotes are another important factor when you're roleplaying.

 

Please wait 24 hours from this denial post before reapplying. If you have any questions don't be afraid to send me a message.

 

[cruzazul 2815]

Moved to Denied Forum