salamanderfantasy

A helloo and well met to all other Sinners currently entrapped in the Aruglean Depths from the Shire Wizard Magnolia. As it seems in our eternal limbo we are still subject to hunger, and I cannot find any soil that is neither rock nor choked with red clay, this notice has been made. The water churns with vapours, boiling in some places, and like a just cooled cup of tea in others, with a slight sulphur tang when drunk. No-one has yet been able to catch a fish. The only Creatures thus far I have found were one single two-legged thing, like a frog, stone legs dipping into a pool of molten rock, and quite cosy looking of himself. If one could even find or catch another, he's far too charming for me to bring myself to hunting. There appear to be some carry-over plants from the good dirt of Knox – grasses, shrubs, vines. But in a testament to the Aruglean nature of these Depths, none are the humble crops by which we must live. Tough, and inedible. Kelp in the waters can be eaten, yes, but one cannot live on that alone. And thus, we must eat whatever kind of foliage we can scrape up with our teeth. My arcane wizardry knowledge hath granted me with secrets of how to do thus, without Dying Absolutely. A note, that the arcane Wizardry has not granted me knowledge of any medical applications of these plants. Supplies will dwindle, and I am not sure if we will go to A Slightly Worse Hell if we die again. Best avoid! Anyhow, we shall begin, as all good things do, with The Shroomage. 🍄 - = The Shroomage = - Common Red and Common Brown Mushrooms -=Beautiful mushroom art courtesy of the Wizard Magnolia=- What appear to the the same mushrooms as found in Almaris, well known and edible. Brown commons have a flat cap and an earthy taste. Red commons mimic the poisonous Fly Argaric, but with a darker stem, and taste somewhat sour. Often paired in a mushroom stew, so hope you like it. Yellow Spotted Bluecap Another mushroom which seems to be like its cousin found above. Sometimes called Gnome's Caps in the Shire Dialect. Should not be eaten. Results are unpleasant in the digestive sense.. Can be a fun high in small amounts, but a risky one. Orange Spotted Redcap Again, another like those in Almaris. Probably related to the Bluecap, Shire Dialect is the same for them too. These ones are also inedible. They irritate the mouth. Shroom-Trees Tough woody stems and fuzzy, draping caps, like a tree. Might be able to be cut for wood, but also rendering them to be like chewing on wood if eaten. Too bland anyway. Found in blues and reds, as many things are here. Smaller shrub like ones have also been spotted, very cute in my wizardly opinion. The leaves can be brewed into a dry sour tea, sticking to the tongue, slightly slimy in texture. Perhaps the best tea I've found so far here. Sprout glowing fruits. Inedible, taste of lamp oil and with a texture like it too. The light of these dies once plucked, though perhaps it can be preserved? The wood of the stems can be used for fire however, and burns blue, curiously. Concerningly, I found what seemed to be an old, old stump of a giant red shroom-tree. Now whatever could have cut that down? Giant's Wizarding Hat Waving, curly capped behemoths of a shroom. Even tougher than Shroom-Trees, almost like biting stone. A delight to behold! Jellyshrooms Another woody stem; but of a fleshy and transparent cap of blues and golds and purples. No use for it thus, biting into the jelly would feel like a welcoming trifle, but immense bitterness thus decrees it inedible. - = Non-Shroom Floras= - Bulb Ferns Fleshy green sprouts found near the base of larger green shroom-trees, the ones growing to the left of the coast by the falls. Once matured, round seed pods form on the end of the stalk, full of a jelly like substance. When ripe, they burst, and scatter seeds. Edible. They pop like grapes in your mouth, though slimier. Taste like salt and cucumber. Pipestalk Fibrous green stalks that grow twirling up, up, to the roof of the Depths. Too tough to be good eating. Not toxic, but certainly made me feel odd for a while after biting into one. May be used for weaving, or the older ones like branches. Artery Grass Thick, red, round blades of grass that grow near shroom-trees. Full of thick red liquid like blood. Tastes extremely sour, not at all sweet. Edible, theoretically, but with heavy protests of the stomach certainly. Could be used to make curds for cheese if we could find anything to milk down here, or to pickle something, the juice of them being certainly acid enough. Vein-Vine A similar colour to artery grass, also leaking thick red liquid when broken, but in small amounts. Once again too fibrous to eat – although the new growth might be thin enough to chew like noodles. A good fibre for weaving perhaps? I intend to learn if it is knittable. Tube lichen A gray lichen found growing on red shroom-trees, taking the form of clusters of tubes, made of a dry, powdery fibre, woven in ring-like shapes. Full of small white seeds. Mixed with boiling water (roughly ground, seeds and all) it softens to the point of edibility – a promising substitute for bland, bland porridge. Sifting the seeds out and steaming them might have a texture like rice. Eaten raw, feels like a mixture of oats and string. Might be ground into a flour if dedicated. Weeping Lichen A purple webbing found in the crevasses of the glassy, black rock which makes up much of the walls of these caverns. It perpetually weeps a bright purple fluid, droplets gathering on the rock. A deeper purple and more liquid than the Ooze which makes up the Various Ooze Pits I have found. This is edible, in theory, only small drips are made at a time. Gathering it would take some effort. The taste is shockingly sweet, although with an aroma not unlike that of a doctor' office – a faint harshness like medicine. Lick it off the rock. Do it. Lungbrush A pink heather-like-thing growing from crevasses in the rock, tinted pink like a blush, with fat leaves Full of water and thin stems that snap. Grows close to the ground, carpeting it, or occasionally to head height as a shrub (head of a halfling, that is). The leaves grow in pairs, like two pink lungs, and can be eaten. Tastes almost of unsweetened licorice root, and chewing it takes almost as long, the leaf skins being thick, like collagen. An almost metallic aftertaste. The most meat-like thing outside of mushrooms I have found thus far. Doesn't seem to grow much among the more vegetation dense areas, like the shroom-forests. Some patches sprout near the falls and along the old grey road near there. [!] And here, the stack of salved papers stitched together of reclaimed wool ends. Full of quick sketches, messy writing, and very little way to verify if anything written within is true. Copies are left near anywhere the refugees have clustered together in the caverns.

"Tough words fer a Peregrin who LEFT WITH ME BOWL OF BEANS AND DID NAE RETURN T' CERAMIC. After I cooked a whole new pot of beans for her!" Thus declares Queen Magnolia, Cheese Wizard of Bywater, decrying the Thieving Peregrin's LIES. "Also she were only there for thirty seconds. So not sure what she's on about really."

- It is a dewy morning in Hayhollow-By-Water, year 125 of the Second Age. - - Grass is damp, glittering in the rising light. - - Watercress grows in the stream, ever trickling down the rocks. - - The fields stand full, ready for the scythe. - The doctor’s office is empty of patients, luckily. The recovery beds lay unused, white sheets unsullied by blood. The broken ceiling has just been patched. The storage room could do with a stock up; running low on rubbing alcohol and gauze. And Dr Sorrel Rosehipp Mowood Mudfoot Ironbrew Peregrin is dead at her desk. Rigour mortis has set in, but not yet rot. She would look as though asleep, eyes shut, slumped over, still in the chair. One hand still even rests on a bottle of ale, half-empty, not to be finished. The other is tucked under her face down head as a pillow, cushioning herself as she settled down for a nap. An unfinished sheet of notes lies in front of her in her too-fancy script. Half a recipe for licorice root tea. She wouldn’t deliberate much on her own cause of death, if this was back in her Sheriffing days. Lifting her eyelids would show yellowing jaundice from a failing liver – almost unheard of among halflings, but Knox did try her best with seventy years of hard drinking. Any neighbours would have heard grumbling of chest pains or harsh coughing as she made her way along the path to her office each day – crystal and pipeweed for a weak heart and bad lungs. And even then, her hair is splayed out grey on the table, scar on the bridge of her nose faded and hidden by wrinkles. Living to a hundred and forty one is good-going, as far as halflings go. If she’d had it her way, she’d’ve dug out the grave herself, cut herself a neat little hole into the earth near the fields, and tucked herself down to sleep. Leave the office tidied and ready for the next Doctor to forge a licence and take her place. Instead, it now becomes someone else’s job to pick up her corpse from the desk. Lug it out of the building, brush her hair, wipe the spit from her lips. Dress her up in a clean button up shirt, tie Meemaw’s scarf around her neck, pin her rose brooch to her chest. Sort through the jumbled up papers, old files, a hundred years worth of notes on criminal investigations and village happenings and where to pick wild billberries in the summer. And somewhere tucked among that mess is a document, waiting for whoever can find it. Something that might have been a will, or a farewell note. The paper is beginning to yellow under her fancy penmanship. It’s at least twenty years out of date.

Magnolia Fiddleberry, who was kidnapped, is not entirely sure either. There was a ransom, but they didn't manage to collect it. Perhaps they were bad at directions? At least she could glue the hand they severed and sent with the random note back on.

Magnolia bravely warded off any more kidnappers with a broom. She then had a panick attack and started stress-knitting. But overall she thinks it went pretty well.

SHOULDNT HAVE SENT MAGNOLIAS HAND WITH THE RANSOM NOTE, BECAUSE SHE GLUED IT BACK ON AND NOW THEY GOTTA CATCH BOTH THESE HANDS

Magnolia Fiddleberry, Shire Wizard, recent Queen, and 60 year running cheesemaker of the Shire, rejects the notion that the Acreans (whoever they are) invented cheese-rolling, as this is a time honoured halfling tradition as well! However, she resolves to attend if only to prove her own might at cheese-rolling (and because her husband was invited). The drunken brawl sounded appealing as well.

[!] Lengthier issue just means more paper planes. Magnolia's at it again.

Magnolia Fiddleberry folds the newspaper up into a charming paper plane before chucking several of them down the mountain. This amuses her for a few hours.

Magnolia Fiddleberry, who got engaged after crashing a party and loathes wedding planning, is as surprised to learn her own wedding date as everyone else. She then begins to post invitations to every important family she can think of in hopes of gathering more wedding gifts.

Magnolia still doesn't know what a darkspawn is, but prepares to shovel all the evil out of Hayhollow.

THE BALLOT ((MC Name: Naquris )) Name: Aedren Maeyr'onn Vote 1: Luthien Maeyr'onn Vote 2: Luthien Maeyr'onn

Name: Aedren Maeyr'onn Username: Naquris

Question: fae have you slept yet

(Second comment posted twice ignore this)

Magnolia Fiddleberry, village cheesemaker, begins to worry that the Thain may have overestimated the amount of cheese storage space she has in the cave, and starts to carefully arrange things for maximum cheese efficiency.

The study makes it's way to one zoologist mali'thil in Haelun'or; who greatly appreciates the research!

[!] Several halflings in Honeyhill proceed to make absolutely no changes in their marriage plans in spite of this.

Aw **** the conspiracy broke bcos I can't do basic maths

Not if you believe the theory that she died back in November but they propped her up till summer because they couldn't get the deposit back on the platinum jubilee.

Pleabe no has the queen not made us suffer enough yet

Sorrel still doesn't like soldiers, but maybe now they'll leave her alone.

"Wha' absolute disrespect to t' wee-folk culture." Agrees Magnolia Fiddleberry, who has no clue where Balian is but nonetheless disagrees with their drug policies.

FARM FARM FARM FARM FARM FARM FARM

One example of this and also main reason I don't participate in lotc wars anymore either is just the Sheer quantity of slurs people say in every war discord ive ever been in. Seen so many players I ain't naming who'd just join, immediately asked "can I say the n word here" and proceeded to spam it. (Also spam posting fetish **** happens More Than Expected but thats a whole other issue). It mightve gotten marginally better since I joined, but still: lotc players just really love to say slurs the second they can get away with it.