Rethai

I didn't shoot into depression at an earlier time because of my ban. LOL. I became a tad more toxic due to it.. That is what I was getting at.

Huge problem I had before my unban late last year. I love this server, and I would rather not be cyber-bullied when I return.. That is the main reason for this post.

All in all, like I said i'm not doing this for attention more as explaining my thought process before my potential Unban. I would like to start somewhat fresh.. Sorry you feel I should be Perma Banned. I feel I am bad but not that bad compared to others.

I wrote one post that was very differnt than this one and it was my side of a story seeing if I was in the wrong. Anyway, thanks for the feedback..

Thank you for your comment. I realise the hard task of earning back the trust of the community and to regain my reputation. :) Have a great day

Before you continue with this post, I'd highly encourage you don't just pop up on here to "**** Post". This is a legitmate thread where I will be explaining my struggles, POV, etc. The reason being for this post is a lot of others who call me toxic ask me to write why I'm so toxic, and I will be! No names will be put out, so do not worry. If you see ##### That is a redacted name. Please read through the entire post before posting, and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not post about anything that isn't comments about THIS post or anything having to do WITH this post. Thanks! Enjoy my POV. :) Last year, around February I joined LotC! It was the fringe.. and everything was chaotic. I was deemed an impatient player from the beginning by some AT because I wasn't the happiest about getting my application denied a few times. I was brought on here by a player who was known to be a troll and toxic which didn't help my case. From an early playing time on Lotc, I was known as toxic because of being friends with him. I also learned how to RP with him, which just worsened me in the long run. Thankfully a player who was rather good at RP saved me from diving too deep. Going into Thales I decided that you could do ANYTHING on the internet, including pissing people off which is exactly what I did! As many of you know, i was banned early Anthos for Toxicity and No-Rp killing SEVERAL people simply for some RP which I lost at. This resulted in the few players that thought I had a chance with the community and my reputation drop and move away from me because to be quite frank, why would anybody want to be friends with me. At this point with Lotc, I am known to be toxic for both legitimate and non-legitimate reasons. After I served my time, I came back late late late Thales and kept low. I reunited with the player whom brought me on the server (Big Mistake!) and got worse again.. Early Athera I was banned with him for toxicity. At this point, everybody hates me for the most part. I honestly think that ONE mod still liked me out of the entire server. This is when I began to get the skype messages which ranged from insults to death threats and wishes. I ignored them for the most part until my parents decided to have a custody battle over me.. Again... (fun!). After this court trial ended, I went into complete depression. I stopped eating, I stopped talking and I stopped doing the things I loved for the most part. Through this, I decided to use Mine Craft as my gateway from reality and began Alting.. A lot.. I could've been unbanned but my time was doubled, tripled, etc. I finally however ran out of alts and around earlyDecemeber 2015 I pulled my **** together big time. I threw my chin up and made a new skype along with tried to change for the better on the internet. When I was unbanned on January 1st I came on with a smile on my face, although the majority of the server hated me. I helped in WS daily.. No, more like hourly and tried to be the best player I could be when in reality, I didn't exactly want to. I wanted to try to change so I can win back the community that once was so accepting of me in my first week of the server. I went from horribly toxic to a model player. I won the majority of the community back and everything was going fantastic. However, starting late March, I stopped helping as the hate began to come in again. I stopped being friendly but didn't go so far as to be toxic. However, I had occasional Skype outbursts with others whom I didn't like. I became very passive agressive and decided that it was my way or the high way. With that being said, I launched myself into a short-temper life style for the internet. It worked for me until a player trolled in my city and angered me. This was also a time where my father tried to contact me again (fun!) and my Grandmother passed (More fun!). I screamed at the player both IG and OOCly and eventually Killed her with the bare minimum RP attached. Thus I was banned for a No=Rp kill and for a non-friendly behavior. I was angry with my ban, now I take it as a warning from the admin which banned me who cared about me enough to ban me before I became full on toxic and was Perma-banned. For that I thank you. Although I still have some Skype outbursts, I am doing my best to filter out of the toxic phase. Why am I writing this? It just seems like a timeline.. I'm writing this because I want you to know where I stand and where I'm coming from in general on the topic of LotC. I want you all to know why I was acting this way, and why I have random outbursts.. A lot ask if I'm "Bipolar" And "Do you have home issues". Well, the answer is yes (To home issues). I also want to point out that I have been better, and of course I will try to get better as the path of redemption is a long, hard and steep path to walk. What am I asking from you? I'm asking for mostly support. My early appeal date is 5/16 and if I get unbanned, I'd like to have a supportive player base. You don't have to welcome me back, and you don't have to be my friend. I would just appreciate the Skype messages to halt, and hear nothing but good things or constructive criticism. What else does this mean? I'd like you to ding me if I screw up. If I have a slip, i want to be notified because I don't want a repeat of the last year. I don't want to be labeled a toxic player, as nobody does. I want an 8th chance, if you will. Also, this post was in no way shape or form meaning to offend, call out, or challenge ANYBODY. This again is simply my POV from everything and my side of the many stories. I wrote this post due to a recent ban appeal comment that basically said you need to pull your stuff together, even though you are having problems OOC this is a RP server along with my friends which I've made on LotC. I want them, you, God, and everybody to know that I want to change and that sometimes things get in the way of that. (For example, my family problems). I look forward to my return. tl;dr : I gucked up bad, I know it.. OOC problems influenced me and I want the support of the community to get me back on track As always, have a great day/night LotC. EDIT: No, this post was NOT for brownie points with the staff team. I had and have NO intentions on getting anything out of this post but the ability to be supported and not cyber-bullied from now on. Jack Mills ~ Jacque Praedium ~

Imagine Dragons ~ I"m so sorry

((These are awesome!))

-Snip-

Tries to imitate the grunt, but fails.

Slaps him again ~ "You forgot Praedium!"

Jacque tries to grow elf ears, so he can attend next year..

I will be voting on the 16th!

I don't know.. All I know is we should shut our gates, make barricades, tell the men and women to hide themselves and offer up their children to keep whoever owns this bow out of the towns!

Jacque wonders why Salvus won't just join Oren..

Licks his lips, walking to Petrus which is now a city of actual purpose.

:( q-q

Blend yourself to death ^ ~~~~

Can we get 1000 ways to die? Post a way to die! One post per person! NO REPEATING!!!!

Love you too Matt! I'll be there :3

Jacque nods firmly as he reads the well written letters, curving into one another.

Jacque looks toward Poe smiling as the message is sent. "Long live Praedium.. Long live Oren."

Jacque laughs "Fellow Brother, I will pay 50,000 mina for your land!" He says quickly "Just kidding!" ((Memes were born today..))