The Daily Dunshire, Issue 2

[NotEvilAtAll 10906]

Spoiler

 

[!] Some papers are found floating about in the wind, nailed to noticeboards (including the Dunshire Noticeboard), and in other places

 

The Daily Dunshire!

Circa 12th of The Amber Cold, 1664

~Dunshire as seen by the eagles~

Lo everyone! And welcome back ter our second issue of the Daily Dunshire Newspaper!

In this issue:

~Canonist Shrine built in Dunshire!

~New burrow constructed!

~Halfling Population Census underway!

~Drunken Duck Tavern gets a massive makeover!

~Llamas now found in Dunshire

~Tea supplies run low!

~Other things

 

Canonist Shrine built in Dunshire!

~A cute little canonist shrine in the old location of the Knoxist Shrine~

In order to reason with all o' the raiders who've been attacking us recently, a Canonist Shrine has been built in place of the ol' Knoxist one! Canonism will not be forced on anybody in Dunshire, but all are welcome to try it if they desire. We might even hold mass here by this shrine one day, who knows!

 

New burrow constructed!

~A splendid little burrow~

Dunshire has had and will always have a chronic issue when it comes to givin' everybodeh good burrows ter live in (With our large popula'ion an' small village size an' all tha'), yet today an important step away from that has been taken! Introducing the newest burrow of Dunshire, with all of the amenities a halfling family needs to survive, such as food, water, a bed, a couple of friendly spiders to keep the flies away, and even a lovely desk! 

(DISCLAIMER: T'is burrow be already taken. Don't go around claimin' it for yourself!)

 

 

Halfling Population Census underway!

If you don't fill this out sooner rather than later, you might lose your burrow in Dunshire! You don't want that, now do ya?

Just look elsewhere on the Dunshire Noticeboard if you want to get some forms for the Census. They ought to be there by now

Spoiler

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfSAUv13knLIPSmdhrPjmSbOqSKD-N04sDw62lEeBU5Z0dOGg/viewform?usp=sf_link  

 

Drunken Duck Tavern gets a massive makeover!

~A more open and comfortable interior~

~The best view in all of Dunshire!~

~Fine brewing INSIDE of the tavern as well! Fresh as can be!~

Come on down to the new and improved Drunken Duck tavern o' Dunshire! Where all our faces get filled with so much booze even your mother's hankie cannot wipe it all off!

 

Llamas now found in Dunshire

~The llamas prance about the luscious fields of Dunshire~

They bite, they spit, they drool, they kick! These wonderful domesticated llamas are here to stay for all of Dunshire to enjoy! Take them out for a walk if you want, or just stand around admiring their beautiful coats. But please, please, PLEASE do not feed the llamas carrots. I am tired of waking up every morning to a bunch of cranky llamas because some good-fer-nothin' halfling decided to feed llamas vegetables. Carrots are food pigs, hay is for llamas, wheat is for sheep and cows. It's not that hard. Sheesh.

 

While you're at it, don't pet t'eh llamas either. The last halfling who did that regretted it deeply. 

 

Tea supplies run low!

For too long us wee folks 'ave been drinking tea without care or without mind, and as a result of that, our tea has run near dry! 

~Leaf Tea, an old favorite~ 

It is because of this sudden hardship that I declare that no halfling shall be able to drink more than 3 gallons of tea per day! 

I know that this will be rough for our most devoted tea drinkers, but in times such as these, we all must make sacrifices for the greater good of Dunshire, so that all may be able to drink tea instead of the halflings with the biggest stomachs to fit the tea.

 

Other things

~locks are still highly frowned upon in Dunshire, please don't use them unless you have a very very very VERY good reason for it!

~Same thing applies to shoes, but with even more pleading for you to not wear them.

~Beware of bees!

~And finally, a poem:

 

There once was ah lass named Grettle

And always she sat by the kettle

But to her disgust

When she drank eighteen cups

It was too much for her stomach to settle!

 

This has been the Daily Dunshire, written by none othah t'an Madeline Applefoot, halfling o' Dunshire!

Long Live Dunshire's Democracy, and Lord Knox bless us all!

-Madeline Applefoot

 

Sponsors:

HOLM ACADEMY: JOIN TODAY!

The Bernardist Party of Dunshire

Ma and Pa

 

 

[For the low cost of 18.5 potatoes, your message could be here! Contact Madeline for more info!]

[!] The paper would end with a very large and probably not intentional ink splatter, that appears to be on every single copy of this newspaper that you can find. Did an ink well spill all over Madeline's stacks of papers as she wrote this? Did she write the ink splatter on every single newscpaper as a secret message? Could it have been the Evil Ent of Dunshire trying to corrupt our children with disturbing ink blobs? The world may never know

((image from Zebrapen.com, whatever that is))

 

 

 

 

 

[adamc2000 1385]

Auda in a far away island doing business smiles remembering the amazing halfings.
(OOC: new follower of this news paper! keep it up!)

[Taketheshot 3834]

*As the cannonist shrine is built....the bandit attacks stop.......surprising...*

[NotEvilAtAll 10906]

6 hours ago, Taketheshot said:

*As the cannonist shrine is built....the bandit attacks stop.......surprising...*

Madeline Applefoot shrugs “bigguns love ter push their religions on othahs”

[White_Moose 59]

Petrus picks up one of the papers littered about Dunshire and gives it look through before throwing it to the wind and shrugging, "Ah really shoul' learn 'ow te read..."

((Amazing work! Keep 'em comin'!))

[MunaZaldrizoti 8037]

Moved to The Great Library. It shall be sorted into the appropriate category shortly.

 

If you feel this is a mistake, please contact myself or any FM and we'll restore it.