On Cactus Green

[Maury 411]

[!]

My scholarly work for the Grand Library of Dragur has taken me further than my work as a Jester, and I have come to learn much about language, culture and plant life among other things in my travels. My name is Airebys Sylric, and I am a Scholar for the Grand Library. During my latest expedition to the deserts of Atlas, I searched far and wide for a people who could potentially afford me some books or scrolls to be studied by the Grand Library. As I was bounding down a small mountain, I came upon a camp inhabited by a nomadic Farfolk tribe. It was with their stories and histories told by way of the spoken word that taught me what I will share with you all today.

 

The first instances of Cactus Green appearing in the world is almost a mystery. The belief I have surmised – the hypothesis if you will – to be the discovery of Cactus Green is this: Ancient Farfolk tribesmen, who are further believed to be the pioneers of the drug, had no actual use for the thorny cactus stem. Their beasts of burden could eat and digest the pulp and thorns of the plant with no problem, but the dark-skinned humans found no function for it. It was not until one unknown tribesman attempted to eat the plant out of starved necessity, only to find it repugnant and oily. Having mashed it into a pulp after removing the thorns, the man discarded the grimy substance onto some nearby stones on the outskirts of his camp. During the day, he noticed a sour smell coming from the area, ignoring it as he went milling about and keeping out of the hot sun. The following day the man found the pulp dried and hardened into small bunches – the earlier sour smell now a shadow of the possible fermentation of the juices that may have occurred during its time on the hot stones under the sun. The man did not want his animals eating this once foul-tasting substance, so he threw it into his campfire to discard of it once and for all. As he once again milled about during the night, keeping an ear out for potential predators; he began to develop a strange, lazy hunger and a euphoric calmness about himself. He was perplexed at first, not comprehending why this sudden fit came about. He looked to his camp fire, seeing the embers of the greenish nuggets still burning, an acrid white smoke billowing from the flames. The soreness of his feet became abated, the small punctures from picking thorns from cacti less significant – this seemed a miracle by his ancestors watching from paradise, though the man knew better. The next day, he attempted to re-create the odd slop of cactus-mush he had made previously, performing the arduous task of thorn-plucking and cactus-mashing. When he had enough to perhaps amplify the effects of the night before, he took the sun-dried green from the stones the next day but did not notice the hint of the sour scent he had before. He decided still to throw the considerable green brick onto his campfire in the night, but this time the effects did not come with the white smoke. He immediately realized his mistake in the creation process of this delightful herb: It had not fermented. He recalled that in his annoyance at its inedible nature, he had sputtered out the mouth full of gruel and spit its juices from his mouth back into the bowl which it was ground in. He surmised that the saliva from his mouth must have helped in the fermentation process, now knowing how to fully duplicate the process and make more of what is now known as Cactus Green.

 

Research notes update, 16^th of The Amber Cold, 1700. As I am writing this, I am staying the night with the aforementioned nomadic Farfolk. Due to a misunderstanding from a minor language barrier, further discussion yielded information that the alleged “ancient tribesman” belonging to the farfolk believed to be the pioneer of Cactus Green was in fact a Gobo who lived near one of the many routes they traveled during their nomadic lifestyle. The practice this Gobo was performing was in fact a common one among others of the Orc race. The nomads happened to have a copy of this Gobo’s journal, which I will transcribe below, and I alter my public understanding of Cactus Green in the hopes that I will no longer get cursed out by angry Orcs.

[Gobo journal on Cactus Green]

[ItzYoBoiEd 148]

“I’m high”

[Mavromino 514]

"Considering it's use in shamanistic practices it's far more likely the orcs pioneered the drug. Furthermore, their time system is based around the drug which further reinforces this view."  A random scarred elf would remark.

[Maury 411]

3 hours ago, Mavromino said:

"Considering it's use in shamanistic practices it's far more likely the orcs pioneered the drug. Furthermore, their time system is based around the drug which further reinforces this view."  A random scarred elf would remark.

 

“I am not unwilling to believe this information, but I must ask that you support each point made with facts and research in order for me to take it seriously.” Airebys would remark neutrally to the anonymous elf. “Thus, I would ask these questions:

 

1. What ‘Shamanistic practices’ use Cactus Green?
2. What is this ‘time system’ the orcs use based around the drug?

 

“Please explain how either of these points refute the idea that humans began the practice of Cactus Green creation. If anyone could say that obscure magical practices or timetables gives them automatic royalty fees to the intellectual knowledge, then the Snow Elves could hypothetically charge any who speak the name of their deity or tax them for talking about snow. I do not mean to straw-man your argument, but again – support it with historical or modern facts.”

 

[MangoArt 399]

57 minutes ago, Zastro said:

 

“I am not unwilling to believe this information, but I must ask that you support each point made with facts and research in order for me to take it seriously.” Airebys would remark neutrally to the anonymous elf. “Thus, I would ask these questions:

 

1. What ‘Shamanistic practices’ use Cactus Green?
2. What is this ‘time system’ the orcs use based around the drug?

 

“Please explain how either of these points refute the idea that humans began the practice of Cactus Green creation. If anyone could say that obscure magical practices or timetables gives them automatic royalty fees to the intellectual knowledge, then the Snow Elves could hypothetically charge any who speak the name of their deity or tax them for talking about snow. I do not mean to straw-man your argument, but again – support it with historical or modern facts.”

 

Overhearing this, a passing Fe-Uruk would rather aggressively state, “Lat ignorant zkah! Everi zingle zkahin ritual uzez id, id am azh method of deeper konnektion tu da zpiredz. Alzoh, owah monthz am called kaktuz dayz. Ztop trying to claim dat latz ztupid zhara friendz invented our zakred drug.” (Translated: “You ignorant f***, every single f***in’ ritual uses it, it is a method of deeper connection to the spirits. Also, our months are called cactus days. Stop trying to claim your stupid human friends invented our sacred drug.”)

[Maury 411]

13 minutes ago, MangoArt said:

“Lat ignorant zkah! Everi zingle zkahin ritual uzez id, id am azh method of deeper konnektion tu da zpiredz. Alzoh, owah monthz am called kaktuz dayz. Ztop trying to claim dat latz ztupid zhara friendz invented our zakred drug.” (Translated: “You ignore f***, everi single f***in’ ritual uses it, it is a method of deeper connection to the spirits. Also, our months are called cactus days. Stop trying to claim your stupid human friends invented our sacred drug.”

“Throm’ka bruddah uruk, mi am tankful fur latz input. Mi am nub uze nowlege fur krimp or ‘pinkie frienz’, mi nub hav pinkziez az frenz. Mi Znow Albai wunt better gruk latz Uzg fur bubhosh’r nowlege uf Atlaz.” he replies calmly, ignoring the mans unnecessary cursing in this place of research and civility.

[MangoArt 399]

16 minutes ago, Zastro said:

“Throm’ka bruddah uruk, mi am tankful fur latz input. Mi am nub uze nowlege fur krimp or ‘pinkie frienz’, mi nub hav pinkziez az frenz. Mi Znow Albai wunt better gruk latz Uzg fur bubhosh’r nowlege uf Atlaz.” he replies calmly, ignoring the mans unnecessary cursing in this place of research and civility.

“Azht of all, mi am azh female, DUBT uf all, da language iz zakred azwell.” (Translation: First of all, I’m a female, second of all, the language is sacred aswell)

[Bardmancer 942]

Nurena’Yar, who just happens to be chillin’ with Mograh, rolls her eyes at the snelf’s clear lack of basic anatomical knowledge. “Nub wurreh zizta, hi kleerleh duz nub gruk how much ob ah nubhonuruhbuhl akt id iz tu blah da zakred blah ob Krug. Ib hi truulee kayrd fur hiz prehzhuhz ‘nowledge’, hi wud hab kom tu blah tu uz en da azht tik.”

[Maury 411]

1 hour ago, DarkSainthood said:

“Nub wurreh zizta, hi kleerleh duz nub gruk how much ob ah nubhonuruhbuhl akt id iz tu blah da zakred blah ob Krug. Ib hi truulee kayrd fur hiz prehzhuhz ‘nowledge’, hi wud hab kom tu blah tu uz en da azht tik.”

Airebys continues to ignore the Orc-females’ refusal to be civil, once more replying calmly and as best as his book-learned Blah can convey, “It nub meny twiggeh dat zpeek Blah, end mi Blah iz limited. Inzted uf latz bi condezendin’, help mi lern. Latz inzults end zkah’z-blah nub welcom ‘ere. Latz wunt twiggeh in uruk goi fur lernin? Mi com tu throm’ka da Bubhosh’goi wen pinkiez end tree-twiggiez nub klomp Znow’goi.”

((Simple Translation: Quit cursing, quit being condescending, correct my mistakes instead of being rude, and I’ll come learn more Blah when we aren’t under threat of attack.

OOCly: Literally trying my best with only what I’ve learned from IRP books, which is quite a lot for a player of less than two months. This thread isn’t for your petty superiority complexes, it’s for legitimate roleplay research and study of Cactus Green – I don’t want to hear about anatomy or sacred Blah here, only the lore of Cactus Green. If you can support all your claims regarding CG with forum posts or direct me to experts on it, then do so without being immature.))

[Sykogenic 1333]

7 minutes ago, Zastro said:

-snip-

 

 

((They aren’t telling you your blah is bad, they’re saying that it is extremely offensive for a non-orc or non-honorary orc to speak Blah. You’d get you head caved in in most places if an Orc heard you speaking Blah. If you are looking for proof OOCly, have this link to the Cactus Green wiki from 2013. Or you can search for “Cactus Green” on the forums and go to the first results and see how its mostly all about Orcs and Goblins and Shamanism and Villainy Apps (since that was a thing back then) relating to petty theft and the likes. Hope thats more what you’re looking for. I’ll leave all IRP research to you :D ))

[Maury 411]

3 minutes ago, Tuarz said:

-snip-

((They did not tell me that about Blah, so thank you for clarifying what they meant. And also thanks for getting straight to the point without beating around the bush.))

[Slothtastic 761]

2 hours ago, Zastro said:

((They did not tell me that about Blah, so thank you for clarifying what they meant. And also thanks for getting straight to the point without beating around the bush.))

 

5 hours ago, MangoArt said:

(Translation: First of all, I’m a female, second of all, the language is sacred aswell)

(You were saying? Also stop being stupid. Everyone knows that Green came from Orcs. Not Farfolk, and you should know that Orcs definitely do NOT like any elf speaking blah. Especially when you don’t do it correctly)

[Maury 411]

1 hour ago, Slothtastic said:

Everyone knows that Green came from Orcs. Not Farfolk, and you should know that Orcs definitely do NOT like any elf speaking blah. Especially when you don’t do it correctly

 

5 hours ago, Zastro said:

OOCly: Literally trying my best with only what I’ve learned from IRP books, which is quite a lot for a player of less than two months.

((I retract my previous statement about them not saying that Blah is sacred, but not ‘everyone’ knows where CG came from, and not everyone is going to know that Orcs don’t like elves speaking blah. I’m only doing it ‘incorrectly’ because I’ve just learned it. As a player of less than two months, I’m a prime example of how not everyone knows what the previous replies entail. Don’t insult me.))

[Slothtastic 761]

8 hours ago, Zastro said:

ut not ‘everyone’ knows where CG came from, and not everyone is going to know that Orcs don’t like elves speaking blah

(Well a good bit does there bud. I think it’s pretty safe to say, not every culture enjoys their enemies speaking their language.)

[Maury 411]

37 minutes ago, Slothtastic said:

(Well a good bit does there bud. I think it’s pretty safe to say, not every culture enjoys their enemies speaking their language.) 

((And I understand that now, but coming onto my thread and verbally attacking me for my shortcomings, which were quite obvious, doesn’t help anyone; not you, and especially not me. What’s more, the Princedom has no enemies. Most other nations and settlements are irrelevant to us, and will only become relevant if they are our diplomatic allies or consistently attack our capital. We’ve got zero beef with the Orc playerbase (to my knowledge), and I’m the only one who’s interacted with the orc playerbase IRP more than any other snelf still a part of the Princedom in probably the last two years – as our armed neutrality has taken us that far. I will most likely make an alternate thread revolving around the herbalist properties of CG, as I’ve had the chance to read through the Wiki forums in order to be lore-accurate and give the orcs their ‘royalties’ in mentioning them throughout the research.))