Halfling Democracy! (Bramblebury Gazette, Volume I)

[HalflingPrincess 411]

[!] A halfling newspaper is found in your mailbox!
 

The Bramblebury Gazette
(Vol I, 1797)

~Knowledge is the key to happiness~

 

Contents:

~The Bramblebury Gazette: My Mission~

~The Election of 1797: RESULTS~

~The Proudfoot Protest: A Response~

~Turnip School of Learning Opens!~

 

~The Bramblebury Gazette: My Mission~

~Winemaking, a favorite hobby of mine~

When a new newspaper begins to make the rounds, readers will always wonder what drove the editor

On the offhand chance that you are unaware of who I am, dear reader, allow me to introduce myself. I am Greta Goodbarrel, former Elder of Brandybrook and author of our constitution. Though I spent the first forty-three years of my life in the secluded halfling village of Norbury, I found it to be far too Orenian for my tastes, and in 1782 I moved to Haelun’or. For three years I studied among the mali’thill at the Eternal Library, perfecting my writing and learning the importance of democracy and open debate.

Despite my appreciation for elven culture, I soon grew weary of the coldness of their streets. I began to long for the comforts of burrows and the simplicity of halfling life, and so in 1785 I dropped everything and once again moved, this time to Brandybrook. It was there I noticed some level of discontent with the undemocratic system of Thainship, and I took it upon myself to correct these problems and restore democracy, something that the halflings have not experienced since Dunshire. Though there were missteps at first, I was able to win support from many people, including our gracious Thain, who approved and signed our new constitution in 1796.

Having outlined my reasons for doing so in a letter earlier this year, I believe I need not reiterate why I initially retired from political life. Regardless, in some senses I have changed my mind. Though I do not currently intend to run for public office in the future, I have come to realize that perhaps the main benefit of being a citizen rather than an Elder, Thain, Mayor, or Sheriff is that I am able to write exactly what I believe without worrying what people will think of it. Though in the past I have complained about my words falling upon unwilling ears, I am simply incapable of being silent on certain matters. Knowledge, after all, is the lifeblood of any democracy, and I wish not to abandon the village I helped create. On the contrary, I hope that writing this paper will encourage civil, open dialogue between those of opposing viewpoints, and that it will also keep the people more well informed by providing a new alternative to the possibly defunct tabloid that was Beetroot News.
 

~The Election of 1797: RESULTS~

~The Sheriff Debates~

It brings me great excitement to report that Bramblebury has completed its very first election!

The race for Mayor was mostly for procedure, seeing as no candidates challenged the lovely Iris Peregrin following my concession of the election. As such, regardless of the number of votes she received (which, based on the statistics our gracious Thain Isalie Gardner provided, would be thirteen votes unless there were abstentions), Iris has won the office of Mayor.

Now, I wouldn’t be running a proper paper if I did not give at least some opinion on Iris’ victory, however I have nothing but praise to give to our new Mayor. You will never find a more friendly and kind halfling than Iris Peregrin, and though she may not have the experience I would have, her benign influence has been made clear by her status as an icon of our community, and her involvement in the construction of Bloomerville (though illegal), reveals her to be a strong and independent leader. Though her campaign was largely built on a return to simplicity (something that I could not offer), she remains a strong believer in the democratic process, and I say with much confidence that next eight years will be bright for the office of Mayor.

~The Sheriff Election Results~
 

The election of the Sheriff, however, was far closer, a fact known to us through Isalie’s reports of the counting. For, despite Theodore Mowood’s immense preparation, voters were likely unimpressed with his performance at the debate, and I am sure his past record of using biggun weapons and being blind in his support of absolute power for the Thain marred his campaign. Or, perhaps, it was simply a matter that his unique feature of being a pumpkin man paled in comparison to the signature elegance of Alfie Greenholm or the characteristic ferocity of Meemaw Applebottom.

The noble Alfie Greenholm, the candidate who had my vote, received five votes in total. Like his other supporters, I admired his clear vision for the office of Sheriff, which included a publicized plan and a well put together debate speech (the best of the three, in my opinion.) Alfie, unlike the others, had also the experience of having been Sheriff of Brandybrook in the past, though this may have hurt his campaign in the eyes of those who believed somebody new should take office. Even still, Alfie’s popularity cannot be doubted, and it is to be hoped that he does not again disappear from the village.

The feisty Meemaw Applebottom, most likely the oldest person ever to be made Sheriff, also received five votes, which resulted in the Thain being forced to carry out her tie-breaking duty as prescribed by the constitution. Though it is not the choice I would have made, Meemaw received Isalie’s vote and has thus been made Sheriff of Bramblebury. Though, as stated in the debates, she has yet to appoint a deputy, it is clear that Bramblebury has elected a Sheriff unlike any before. Though some may argue that her proposals for punishments are too unusual, none of them are cruel, and I believe her affably cantankerous demeanor will make for a strong law-woman.

Unfortunately, there has already been some concern about the validity of the election. Though I shall keep the source of these complaints anonymous, I shall record what they said and will reiterate my response:

This anonymous critic expressed concern over the fact that the responsibility of counting votes was vested solely in the Thain, and suggested that representatives of both sides be present for the counting. They also found it inappropriate that the Thain could vote at all, even in the case of a tie, and suggested instead that it be left up to chance or that a second vote is held. Both of these ideas are, in my opinion, poor alternatives. Though it was not the case in this election; should only two candidates have run and been tied, a second vote would have been rather pointless, and it would only result in the continued cycle of the same results. As to the former of the options; I say this; the fate of the village should never be left up to chance. Though the Thain is expected to be politically neutral, she must make what decisions she considers to be best for the village.

Regardless, I reminded them that it would be unfair for the rules of the election to be changed while it is in progress. As such, I ask that anybody who does take issue with the rules of elections bring these grievances to our Thain or Mayor, who may then propose amendments to the constitution.

 

~The Proudfoot Protest: A Response~

~Malfoy Proudfoot; former Sheriff and leader of the protests.~

Given the host of complaints I had overheard after the constitution was signed, I was not all too shocked that somebody would attempt to have it repealed. (Though I was originally shocked by how many people seemed to be against it!)

Mere days after I announced that I was conceding the election (whether this has any correlation remains to be seen), one Malfoy Proudfoot, former Sheriff of Brandybrook, nailed a declaration to the village notice board asking people to join in a protest against “biggun-like” customs.

While it would be easy for me to dismiss this, and perhaps expected that I would be dismissive of it given that I wrote the constitution they protest against, I appreciate this opportunity for open debate, and am pleased that people are willing to speak their minds. For, despite being what is seemingly a protest against it, Mr. Proudfoot’s actions are very much in the spirit of Goodbarrelian Democracy.

For that reason, I shall entertain the idea:

Malfoy’s letter opens with little more than meaningless words of complaint, though I appreciate his alliteration. He then goes on to accuse the village of having embraced “biggun custom” and declares the beginning of a revolution against it.

Perhaps my largest issue with this letter is that, apart from being similar to “biggun laws” (and I am of the opinion that all law systems should be similar, since all laws should be built on common sense), that no specific aspect of the constitution is cited as an issue. Indeed, it is to be imagined that the few people who have signed on to this movement are united not by their own views but by a common hatred for mine.

This is not to say that they are entirely wrong however, as there are most certainly similarities to biggun constitutions. (After all, I studied political theory in Haelun’or, and it was there that I learned the importance of free government.) The notion that this is destructive to halfling tradition, however, is one that I deeply disagree with. For indeed, halflings have had democracy for hundreds of years. Many positions from Sheriff to Mayor to Elder were elected prior to the illegal coup of Rollo Applefoot in Dunshire.

 

That being said, it is important to understand being a Goodbarrelian Democrat is about supporting elections and equality among halflings, not about worshipping the intricacies of our constitution. While all of those are in place for a reason, there is certainly some room for debate, and I invite Mr. Proudfoot, or anybody else who disagrees with the constitution, to be more open about what specifically they want changed.

Any letter this newspaper receives will be responded to!

 

~Turnip School of Learning Opens!~

~Turnip Ratfoot delivers a lecture on orc savages~

If knowledge is the key to happiness, then a school must be the happiest place in the world! And that can certainly be said for Turnip School of Learning, established in 1796 by our lovely healer Demeter Pebblebrook, as a place for halflings of all ages to be educated without having to leave our cozy village!

Rather fittingly, the very first class here was taught by none other than Turnip Ratfoot; a lecture about the barbaric ways of orcs. Though I did not attend due to my distaste for those creatures, I have heard many positive remarks about the class, and intend on teaching Common and Elvish at the school soon.

 

Long live the halflings!

Greta Goodbarrel,

Citizen of Bramblebury

 

 

[riorr 1970]

Mondy Applefoot sat at the table in the Applefoot burrow, chowing down one of her speciality pink-iced buns.

"Filiber'? FILIBER'?!" She yelled out, "Come look at 'his papeh! Greta's quoite ta author."

[Britannicvs 2508]

Alfie Greenholm read the newspaper with interest, quite pleased at the glowing description he had recieved.

[NotEvilAtAll 10906]

21 minutes ago, Marisnow said:

Mondy Applefoot sat at the table in the Applefoot burrow, chowing down one of her speciality pink-iced buns.

"Filiber'? FILIBER'?!" She yelled out, "Come look at 'his papeh! Greta's quoite ta author."

Filibert Applefoot spits out his morning cup of cider "Wha'?????? Tha's meh darned job, Knox darn 't! Oi'm t'a one who ge'ser wri'e t'a newspapers!"

[TakeMeT0TheFae 970]

Iris reads over the paper with a pleasant expression, sipping on some cider while she does so and nodding approvingly at the paper Greta has put together.

[OddOllie123 255]

Bass reads over the newspaper with a hint of confusion, and a usual warm smile washed upon his face. "Oim nay sure som' of t'ose statistics are rig't bu' hey ho leas' teh 'alflings now 'av a good newspaper!"