A MOTHER'S PEACE [SHELF]

[esotericas 1570]

A MOTHER’S PEACE

Adelaide von Audrick takes some well-deserved rest.

 

A recent portrait of Adelaide von Audrick.

 

Spoiler

 

   

 

Adelaide von Audrick was not a real person. It had once been a comforting thought, an ever-present hum in the back of her mind. Nothing mattered when you were pretending to be a woman who did not exist. But after twenty years of dyed hair, secrets kept, and fake names, what was once a pleasant weight now started to ache.

 

 

I. ELYSIUM

 

“Mama?” young Anya asked, tugging on the locked handle of a clinic workroom door. “Are you in there?”

 

“Yes, sweetheart. Mama’s busy. Wait outside, will you?”

 

“Mkay.” The plush cushions of the waiting room seats were welcoming, and Anya absently swung her legs, looking around the room. The walls were shiny and newly-plastered, like everything in the fledgling city.

 

A large grandfather clock in the corner tick-tocked so slowly that Anya couldn’t help but wonder if it needed to be rewound.

 

All was still, save for the tick-tock

 

tick-tock

 

tick-tock

 

of the great grandfather clock, and for the pat-pat

 

pat-pat

 

pat-pat

 

of Anya’s shoes on the edge of her seat.

 

tick-tock.

 

pat-pat.

 

 

II. KAROSGRAD

 

“Next up, princess Anya de Astrea of Elysium.”

 

Anya swallowed her nerves, forcing herself into the composure she had learned years before, and gave a curtsy to Koenas Emma. Too deep, she chided herself, before straightening back up.

 

“It’s an honor, your majesty.” 

 

tick-tock

 

tick-tock

 

There was a great grandfather clock in the corner of the ballroom, and Anya felt hundreds of foreign eyes digging into her. 

 

“Why are you here?”

 

tick-tock

 

tick-tock

 

Anya swallowed, and then spoke, feeding out the response she had prepared while waiting in line. 

 

“After my mother’s untimely death last year, and my father’s subsequent retreat from society, I thought it would be wise to get some space from Elysium, and reconnect with my father’s culture. That of Haense.”

 

It was a nice, pretty lie. The sort that she would tell many, many more of.

 

 

III. OTISTADT

 

“Do you, Anya de Astrea, take this man to be your husband? To have and to hold from this day forward...”

 

Anya’s hands were clammy in Johann’s, the chill nervous sweat beginning to soak through the satin of her gloves. This was all wrong.

 

Johann fed her an encouraging smile, the sort that had gone from endearing and comforting to nausea inducing.

 

Guilt.

 

It was an emotion she wasn’t familiar with, not until recently. Guilt and anxiety and fear and shame.

 

Margot’s scornful smile. Marie’s scowls.

 

The great grandfather clock that never seemed to leave her side continued to hum, counting the seconds.

 

tick-tock

 

tick-tick

 

She was supposed to say something.

 

“I do.”

 

Another lie.

 

 

IV. THE NIKIRALA PRIKAZ

 

Anya had not shared a bed with Johann Ludovar in quite some time. Her old ward’s chambers in the palace lent more comfort than any man’s arms did these days. An Elysium fox - a wedding gift, the poor thing - curled in her lap as she contemplated her reflection.

 

Her hair would be easy to change. It was always what people mentioned first:

 

“So blonde!”

 

“How did you get it that color?”

 

“That one’s got foreign parents.”

 

“Is she a Barclay?” 

 

It felt like freedom to see another woman in the mirror. Anya could properly inspect her own appearance, since, truly, it was no longer her own.

 

Snub nose. Long lashes. Round cheeks. 

 

Still, her time was running out. 

 

Adelaide had no reason to be in palace apartments.

 

 

V. YONG PING

 

The anonymity was a blessed and surprising gift. Nobody knew who she was. She was Adelaide, just Adelaide. A young woman in search of work and a place to call home.

 

 

VI. SEDAN

 

Too many children in too few rooms.

 

Whispered arguments.

 

Muddy boots.

 

 

VII. MAYS ALLEY I, KAROSGRAD, HAENSE.  1876.

 

Adelaide von Audrick did not make another batch of dye.

 

Johann Ludovar was dead. Dead for years now. She hadn’t attended his funeral, although she had thought about it.

 

She could walk the streets of Karosgrad - of home - without checking over her shoulder. Without covering her face. Without worry.

 

And yet still, every second that passed weighed heavier on her heart.

 

The grandfather clock in the living room of the von Audrick home never stopped ticking.

 

tick-tock

 

tick-tock

 

You’re getting old, Adelaide.

 

You’re a grandmother, you know.

 

Adrian is getting married.

 

You can rest.

 

tick-tock

 

tick-tock

 

Heavier, and heavier still.

 

pat-pat

 

pat-pat

 

Aurelian’s boot-clad feet announced his presence, and before Adelaide knew it, her youngest son had plopped himself on her lap.

 

“Du are so quiet, mutter.” He said, reaching small hands out to squish her cheeks.

 

“Just thinking, sweetness.”

 

“About vhat?”

 

tick-tock

 

tick-tock

 

“Mama needs to rest, my love.”

 

“For how long?”

 

tick-tock

 

tick-tock

 

“A while.”

 

 

VIII. PEACE AT LAST

 

The von Audrick home was quiet. 

 

Adrian was moving out, Dijana by his side. A new generation. 

 

Adelaide sat in her bed, a precious childhood book in her lap.

 

Collected Fairytales.

 

When she grew tired of reading, there was no sound to break the silence.

 

 

OOC:

Spoiler

An end of an era! I'm not leaving Haense (or, hopefully, the von Audricks) forever, but it's certainly rough to say goodbye. I've made some significant mistakes on this character, and ones that I won't make again, but she's still been so dear to my heart.

 

I'm going to be sorry to miss Adrian's wedding, but duty calls and Vienne has claimed yet another persona slot.

 

Onwards and upwards!

 

All my love,

wowsirs

 

[CopOwl 1668]

The Right Honourable, Countess Adele Ludovar, does not often find herself with time to think about Adelaide anymore... There are more things to be concerned with, for the girl who grew without a mother. And who can worry about parents when there are children? Even as the Countess laments on Adelaide with the von Audrick's youngest grandchild, Tatyana Amelya, asleep in her lap. She looks so much like Anya, too. Or the portraits of her, at least. Adele could barely remember Adelaide before she changed, and the few portraits of her mother, Anya, left in the keep feel so foreign to her. Johann had outlawed most of them, after all, in his attempts to keep Adele and Amicia from finding out any more about her than they had to know. 

 

And what excellent children Anya had birthed. A shame about her death, though. Aleksey; A dreamer, was intended to succeed his father, Amicia; The Eldest, married the Prince of Sedan, and Adele; the most meek, really did succeed her father as the Countess. 

 

It was one of the most important days of Adele's life, when she finally met Adelaide after all of her research and searching. And yet... Her mother had not been there on her wedding day, nor met her children, nor gone to comfort her at her father's funeral. Did she do enough? Would Adelaide be the next to leave her? With no mother for guidance?

[TaytoTot 1175]

A now twenty year old Von Audrick sits in her family home, clutching onto a book her mother read to her as a child. This child never knew of Adelaide’s past, and most likely never will. Annie was growing up, and going around to explore the world. But yet she could not let the idea of her mother go. “Mutter, do nicht go for too long.” She uttered to herself.