The Steel Jungle

[ThatFunkyBunch 2037]

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More or less just looking for feedback on this pet project I've done for years now during my active addiction. Now that I am sober I want to get back into this writing project. 

 

Eden

 

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Life on this cruel planet is complicated.  Most of its surface is caked in orange mountains with pale snow and ice-covered tops, dense red desserts of crimson sand and stone. Large vast oceans, patches of high vegetation.  Air boiling at points in the day. Chilled to a freezing point in most places at night. Great storms of rain in the forests and jungles. Mighty sand storms across its red seas.

 

 

Characters introduced.

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First off the ladder was a short tan man with a crooked nose. Wearing a thin long sleeve shirt. Heavy black pants with several pockets. Large boots, topped with a large leather hat with a wide brim. His hands rest atop a crude and slightly rusted assault rifle. Strapped to him by a band around his neck. His round head turns from side to side before he moves along the wide green leaves that litter the ground.  His name is Ivan Martic. 

 

Next, a skinny tan woman of average height. Short black hair jagged, poorly lobbed off with a knife rrestingon her head. Equipped with a tank top of green, thick tan leather pants camouflaged with dye to match undergrowth. Heavy black boots. A crossbow of wood and metal slung over one shoulder. A thick band of blue vines wrapped across her torso held a short quiver of bolts. She is Deidra Martic. 

 

After she descends another woman, dark and clean shaved bald. Carrying with her a long spear. The head was serrated for a few inches above the base. Stopping another few towards the tip. She had on a dark black jumpsuit. Right arm fully plated in metallic armor. Painted to be dark green. Visible teeth and claw marks made scrapes and dents in the armor. Covering the front to the back of the torso is round metal, thighs wrapped in greaves, complete with metallic shin guards. Ankles are covered in more open plate metal. Done so by being attached to the thick jump suite. They call her Vaxnoq 

 

Another man followed, closely followed by a second. They stuck out greatly from the rest of the group. Far cleaner. Looking precisely the same. Wearing advanced combat armor, made of a synthetic nano weave over thin steel plates. It fits unnaturally snug around them and fits the form. Splotched carefully in various greens, yellows, browns, and a few blue and pink splotches.  Pauldrons fully covered the shoulder. Chest plate opens slightly around the neck. Pouches along the waist and center of the torso. Long torso wide backpacks of dark green fabric hung slightly below the waist. Given their attached bedroll. 

 

Gauntlets went up halfway to the forearm. Each had a crude screen and antennas that folded out from within at the top of the screen. Much to the open and clear confusion of the rest, on one wrist. The other had a blade that would spring itself outward. Serrated on one side, razor-sharp on the other. Greaves hugged fully around the legs. Each boot ran almost up to the knee guards. A simple thin light green cloth was beneath. Their helms had a two-inch-wide, six-inches long, oval-shaped yellow visor. 

 

Smooth around the top, protruding down near the jawline, over the neck. Where the mouth should be is a thin slit filled with bars over the mesh. A filter for those within, which distorted their natural voice.  One carried a large, clean, well-kept rifle, and nearly his size, on one shoulder, he is Buok. The other carries a large, black assault rifle with a round drum magazine like a dinner plate, this is Jurta. Both are outsiders, claiming to have embarked on a diplomatic mission into the region. To make contact with the locals. 

 

The last woman climbed down. Stretching her arms. She had brown skin and a floppy hat of large leaves bound to her head. Carrying with her a large hand cannon-looking pistol over her chest and leather vest. A wavy blade of four feet in leather sheath. She carried a large brown sack upon her back. Heavy leather wrappings around the shoulders secured it to her back. Which had several bedrooms hanging off all sides. It was taller than her hat. Leather pants with leather oddly pointed shoes fitted the rest of the woman. Vannesa is her name. 

 

Finally, the last man climbed down. Wearing a green jumpsuit. Wearing a metal chest plate and metallic boots. Painted green and adorned with scratches. Bands of green fabric woven of several different pieces, all different dark shades, cover red bushy hair. Both atop his head and around his neck. What could be seen of his skin was pale. With him was a long rifle with worn rusty iron sights. Held in his hands, aimed to the ground. "Well uh. Be there soon, yeah?" Matt Bryner said. 

The following passage is taken from the second chapter of the story, as the first chapter is currently being reviewed, revised, and renewed. 


 

Morning brings the sound of people and their steps. Life in the fort of Anmok starts early for most. As the sun peaks, they begin their work. Others are granted rest. An expedition team of eight rests during the sunlit hours. With the sun leaning into the evening, the air became cool. They gather outside the gate. 

 

As explained hours before, the outsiders have been permitted to head into the lands. Towards a narrow monolith of dark clean metal, no life grows over it. With clear black glass windows. It has been locked for as long as anyone knows. For no door appears to exist upon it. Towering high into the sky, it looms over the smaller trees in the area. Though it reaches nowhere near the forest tops. 

 

Lacking knowledge of the jungle requires a guide or few, in exchange for part of whatever can be salvaged within. Only Buok and Jurta plan to enter the monolith, with any additional persons of the party willing. 

 

Buok and Jurta claim they know how to get inside, so they set out around dust. To the northeast of the wall, deeper into the jungle. Walking slowly and carefully as dusk turns to night, the miles start to carry on in silence but all the nocturnal life. Some small mushrooms glowed like they were splattered in pink paint, regardless of their color. Upon the stocks, over the heads, but only, in perfectly round small dots. 

 

Midnight was when the monolith came into a view. Bearing no outside markings. No light around it. It rests on a flat patch of grass. Unnaturally short, it never even grew but acted as a carpet. With the absence of light, it was even harder to see up close. Buok and Jurta tapped at their screens, wandering around all sides of them. They took so long that the others had managed to set up makeshift tents of tarps, went to find some food, came back, made a fire, cooked, and prepared for the sunrise. They slept, unsure if Buok and Jurta would sleep. 

 

On the second day, Buok and Jurta were searching every square inch of the flat rounds, from the outer edges inward. It wasn’t until night fell again that two, very loud, cries of delight rang out from the pair. Which naturally prompted the five around their camp to grab what they could and come rushing forward. Arriving at a three-meter by three-meter patch of grass, which turned out to be smooth black metal doors that lay flat on their sides. Exposing a ramp down, and no sign of the

 outsiders. 

 

Caution flooded the faces of each, but with a firm nod, they went within. Finding the two men ahead. From their visors shined a bright yellow light that provided clear light. Temporarily blinding the six for a moment before it was shut off. None could tell who was who, but they raised a finger to their filter and made a soft. ‘Shh’.  Before them, all was a meter by two-meter doorway, currently sealed with an even darker door. Buok, who still had his flashlight on, knelt beside the door. All watched curiously as he pressed his fingers softly against different parts of the wall directly beside it. All but Buok and Jurta let out audible gasps when part of the wall suddenly slid open and revealed a bright sex of blue and orange buttons. 

 

Each had strange symbols never seen before, odd stars and crosses, circles and brands. From Buok started to press the buttons carefully, and in moments the door slid open rapidly. Causing Jurta to rise his large rifle into the room instantly. Hissing out in a whisper. “Warn me next time Ba’dash.” to Buok, who retorted. “Shut it wrencher, I didn’t expect access so soon.” In the same whisper. Flashlight turning off, visor dark, and rifle down the hallway. The rest simply followed suit. Aiming what they could. 

 

Inside was a thin corridor with an elevator up. Dimly lit blue by small narrow lights along with the ceiling and flow. One by one they filtered into the hallway and the elevator. Bryner was the first to talk “What the actual ****.” As for five of them, this was shocking to see. How was this still clean and not overrun by the forest? They had seen elevators but none like this. It was a silver box brightly lit by an entire ceiling of light behind glass. It was oddly wide and spacious, and once all were inside, it closed. None were sure what compelled them each to go up. Buok and Jurta weren’t even sure why they had let these six follow them. 

 

It was only a short trip until the doors opened again. Fascination compelled them each out. The inside of the monolith was mostly hollow. Several rings and walkways extended up, with round and hexagon rooms extending from the rings and pathways. Everyone gave a startled jump when each light, from the first floor up, turned on one by one. Filling the monolith with light more and more. A loud, feminine automated voice rang out all around.
 

 

“Welcome back, R. Phillips. It has been 1,482 years since your last visit. Several ventilation shafts in all levels required repair. External connection to the HUB is severed, and immediate action is requested. Life support is stable. Hydroponics is in dire need of repairs. Your work is cut out for you, as you are the only maintenance engineer on duty. Thank you, the H.B.C. appreciates your continued work for us.” 

 

Silently, they looked at each other, then up and around. None had ever seen something so clean. From the walls of the first floor, opened small metallic doors. Robotics that rolled around, started to sweep and clean. Saying things in a genderless and very electronic voice such as ‘Pardon me’ ‘Sorry’ and ‘Excuse me’ when they got too close to the eight. Several drones move slowly overhead, with flat tops. By all known means they shouldn’t be able to achieve flight. They not only control it but expertly float without visible propulsion systems. With rib-like legs that hold boxes and crates. Carrying them towards unknown ends. Fountains, with pointed tops and wide bowls at their base, feed into small lifeless ponds. They are bright ivory, devoid of any flaw, and unnaturally smooth.  The floors are polished marble, rippled with black and white hues. On the walls hang old large screens. Light up with a blue background, with a silver, 3D set of letters spinning in a circle, spelling out H.B.C

 

Vaxnoq was the first to spot the gruesome corridor on the left. Skeletons, at least a dozen were all piled in an elevator, some in the wide open doors that softly, and constantly jammed on the pile of bones. It didn’t take long for everyone to take in the sight with their sharp inhales. Each bone seemed perfectly normal from afar, though devoid of clothing and flesh. “This is a tomb..” Vaxnoq trailed off, words laced with clear caution. 

 

Beneath the feet of Buok appeared a straight, blue line that ran ahead, then to the direct right of his feet. His filtered voice is only a soft but clear whisper. “Do not stray far, form a circle, and keep quiet.” Without a look at his partner, the other strode forward in a crouched stance, footsteps near silent, heavy rifle poised forward. The rest followed suit. Those with guns on the outside, with Vaxnoq and Buot in the center. Buot crouched down lower than the rest. He takes long but slow steps, his head buried in the screen on his right wrist. Vaxnoq stole a glance at the screen. It was bright green, with clear white lines across the screen. The top reads S.S.F and displayed a clear layout of the very room they were in, with six green dots and two red dots. 

 

The line leads them to a narrow set of stairs that lead up to a square-like room. As they approached, the door slid open smoothly. The room was poorly lit but revealed several shelves, filled with boxes of old wires and fuses. Clamps, drills, and an assortment of strange electronic parts that seemed small and delicate. Over near the back wall was a row of desks, all with monitors hanging on walls with hooks. Wires lead to a flat surface with strange symbols and a vast set of runes none seemed to recognize. Most flickered, with cracked screens, only one was intact. A blue symbol reading H.B.C rotates slowly on the screen, with Buok wordlessly stepping forward. His digits fiddle with his left gauntlet, extending a wire towards the monitor. Plugging it into a small socket upon the back of the monitor. 

 

The screen flickered to life, displaying a dark blue back screen. Several icons were displayed over this. With the touch of his fingertips, Buok prattled away at the screen on his left gauntlet. Which was currently, and vividly scanning over the contents in rapid lines of green text. Riddled with numbers and letters until Buok stopped. He pulled up a small text command and entered something into the gauntlet rapidly. On the keyboard, keys lit up in response, and the monitor brought up a new screen. It displayed a 3D diagram that could be rotated with the tapping of Buoks gauntlet. Several red lines were flashing all within the walls, into offices. 

 

Labels identified the entire complex. The first eighteen floors were for offices and workspace. Eight more for housing and commands, and the final ten were labeled ‘Research and development’. Several of these levels were shaded a faint red. Labeled ‘In dire need of repairs, and mainly towards the tower's tip. Jurta turned his back from the screen, facing the other six in the room. Voice coming out softly “If you’re worried about dying, I’d leave, and leave now. If you can handle yourself, you’re welcome to stay, but I’d do what we say.” 

 

To most of their surprise, Vaxnoq was the first to turn and leave. Followed by Ivan, and his sister. This left only a backpack less Vanessa and Matt, who leaned in closer towards the screen. All this time, Buok was fiddling away with the screen on his raised wrist. Speaking once everyone who was leaving, vacated the room fully. “This system is fried, no reports here or anything. The ducks on several floors are jammed tight, and security on the upper floors is decently active. We have clean air at least, water still works. Several elevators are down, unfortunately, what we’re after is high up.” 

 

Buok reached around to disconnect the wire, spinning about on the heels of his feet. Matt, glanced down at his rifle, ejecting the clip to peer within and check what was left inside. With a loud click, it’s locked back into place. 

 

“Right, and what exactly are you after?” In this dark room, it was difficult to read Matt's expression. His tone shifted from awe to concern. Vanessa glanced back and forth between the helmed men, fiddling with her belt. She took her hat off, and set it on a shelf near her. Chiming in with “And what’s this security you’re talking about?”. Prompting Jurta and Buok to stare at one another in a few moments of silence before each looked back at the two. 


 

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Looking for some feed back, or anyone interested in helping me edit, revise, and write this pet project I have built for the world of Eden, its local moons, and the world-building done before it {Which is only on papers I have hand written.}