THE LIYAR UF PETRUH

[liz 962]

 

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THE LIYAR

of

PETRUH

 

 

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TO THE ARCH-MEANIE WEENIE BO BEANI OF PETRUH,

 

eye’ve alwees thot wee’r frinds butt it seems tuh mee yew ar a deeceever and a liyar uf the most evilest swart. nawt olny did yew hiyde frum mee for yeers n yeers, an tel yor peepol to help. yew all-sow chewsed yer grumpy ole prince merry-is all-dee-mar ovur mee an plaided darts with hem wen eye just wanned ta tok to yew and interdews to yew meye bestestestest frind (culd bee yew so ya no) allie-on-ner . iff yew evur wonna c mee uhgen, yeew gotsa sey sorri for me. iff nalt, the keds uf haynse arr comin for ya.

TRANSLATION:
 

Spoiler

I always thought we were friends but it seems to me that you are a deceiver and a liar of the most evilest sort. Not only did you hide from me for years and years and tell your people to help, you also choose your grumpy ol’ Prince Marius Audemar over me and played darts with him when I just wanted to talk to you and introduce to you my bestest friend (could be you so yeah no) Alyona. If you ever want to see me again, you have got to say sorry to me. If not, the kids of Haense are coming for you.

 

 

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with haytred and lotsa sandness 

 

LORENA JOSEFINA GANT OF HOUSE GANT

[ibiou 1570]

There were sat in the Bear Claw Pub when the missive was wrote, Alyona and Lorena. The little Godunov threw up a thumbs up of approval as the Gant showed off her letter she had scribbled only moments before, smiling with all of her teeth on display. "Yam so proud of vy, Rena... sticking up for vyrself against ve adults..."

[tilly 3672]

"I told her I was not home!" Renilde cried from her meeting room.

[Chorale__ 1692]

Sir Laurens chuckled at the missive. “Kids these days..”

[Borin 5257]

Spoiler

this is unfathomably excrutiatingly retarded

 

[excited 10833]

Sir Paul Montalt makes note of the dissatisfaction of the kids in the Commonwealth and carefully plans his next move to usurp the Archduchess and denounce the Liyar uf Petruh once and for all.