A Return To Properness

[Hearth 873]

People o' Braevos!

'Er since th' defeat o' Iblees in t' ancien' days o' yore, th' Weefolk 've been a scattered people. Continen' after continent weh lay scattered in Shires a thousand farthin's apart, or worse, livin' as bigguns in t' countless cities 'n settlements o' th' other descendants. Billybob's kin forced aside as a secon' thought, for centuries even 'tose of us that gathered together were given no other option but vassalage 'n servitude under taller folk tat' saw nothin' o' us but a source o' farmed goods or worse targets o' simple plunder due to our sacred tradition o' leavin' no door sealed from our fellow kinsman.
 

To 'tat oi, Cyris! King of th' Wee, faithful servan' o' th' mighty protector chosen fer us by th' fifth brother Billybob, th' Pumpkin Lord Knox- say "Nae!".

 

 

 

To th' scattered Weefolk of the realm:

Come. Come! Heed me call, let Billybob's kin be a united people once more! In th' Shiredom of Dúnwen yeh shall be embraced wit' open arms, regardless o' what may haunt yer pasts. Abandon yer minae! Abandon yer shoes 'n weapons! Yeh'll not be needin' em. Become free from th' grasps o' biggun society, taxes, violence 'n greed! An' let Knox intae yer heart once more.

 

To th' descendants o' Horen, Krug, Urguan 'n Malin:

Th' Weefolk are a free people, hinder 'tem not from leaving yer cities- but shoul' 'tey desire to stay, do nae force 'tem out- instea' treat t' kin o' t' fifth descendant wit' th' dignity 'n respect 'tey deserve; Oi shan' tolerate my kin bein' tretten in any way but as yer equals. Dúnwen and it's tidings shall for'er be at yer doorstep shoul' yeh respect this request.

 

To my people, th' Halflins o' Dúnwen:

Fer too long have oi served as yer Thain, though et has been an honour- oi have been neglectin' my true duteh to Knox, an' th' Weefolk across th' Realm, not jus' within' our walls. Moi close companion, Mimosa- shall take up th' shovel her grea' grea' granpappy Rollo firs' lifted, un'er 'er wise guidance th' Shire shall thrive, o' 'tat much oi am sure.

Oi shall continue me duties as King, spreadin' t' tidings of Dúnwen's people across Breavos, keepin' th' most vulnerable o' Billybob's folk safe- an petitionin' fer peace among th' rest o' descendant kind.

Tae lighten me load, an' focus on dispensin' Knox's good word to th' people o' our Shire, oi reprise th' title o' High Pumplar, an' under th' authoriteh granted to me by Knox- bestow et upon th' most proper 'n respectable, Sister Dolly Peregrin, may sheh serve as ah beacon o' properness fer our good folk.

 

Wit' 'tat, oi bid yeh all adieu. Let et' be known to th' realm 'tat Billybob's kin have returned to 'tere former glory, as ah united people. Bowin' tae none but him an' our Guardian Knox, from now till th' end o' time.

 

Regards- His Majesty King Cyris Collingwood, the First, the Second. Former Thain of Dúnwen.

 

 

 

[salamanderfantasy 679]

"That's et m' gonna have t' beat up Cyris fer tryin' to be t' voice of Knox n' shadow puppetin' the shire." Magnolia readies her comically large mallet. "NAE KINGS IN T' SHIRE.

 

......Dolly 's a good Pumplar t'ough."