[Denied]Cheezs Application

[CrazyPurpleSnowman 0]

Out-Of-Character:

-Minecraft Account Name:Cheez2009

-How old are you?:12

-Time-Zone/Country of Residence: Canada

-Do you have a good grip on the English language/good grammar?:Yes i do!

-Small 2-3 Sentence Description of yourself:I love to play games and sports! Most of the games i play on the computer is Minecraft and some games on steam!

-How much time could you be on the server weekly?:maybe 4 hours every day!

-How long have you played minecraft?:Since the beta first came out!

-What do you know about roleplaying? How long have you been doing it? What kind?:I have been roleplaying on a different server for about a year and it was mostly what was your story rp!

-What do you expect this server will be like?:It looks fun and i mostly love lotr and the movies so im expecting it to be spectacular!

-What other server(s) have you played on and why did you leave them?:Ive played on lots of different servers like woe and more and i dont know why i leaved them.

-Have you read, understood, and agreed to the rules? What about the lore?: Yep!

-Name the 4 races on this server. Dwarfs, Humans, Elfs, Orcs!

-How did you hear about us?:From a friend!

-Did you vote?:Yes!

-What was your favourite Law?:The character skins!

-What was your least favourite Law?:None.

-What is your The Lord Of Craft forum account name?: Cheez2009/CrazyPurpleSnowman

In-Character:

-Character Name:Cyprus

-What is your Race?:Elfs

-Lordofthecraft.net/forum forum account: Cheez2009/CrazyPurpleSnowman

-Biography: I grew up in a small village in the dense forest karuga! My parents died and i had nowhere to go so i ran away and brought my bow and arrows! While i was running away some orcs found me and captured me! All i remember now is that someone saved me and i dont know who! I woke up in a strange temple with no bow or arrows! Now i have to start my journey to find who saved me and end the orc race!

-Character Age:17

-Character Appearance:Elf

-Character Personality:Kind, Handsome, Funny!

-Your ambitions:To find who saved me and end the orc race!

-Can your character read or write?:Yes it can do both!

-Can your character mine?:Yes hes a good miner!

-Are you a capable builder?Yes!

-Can you wield a sword?:Like no one else...

-Enjoy Farming?:Yep!

-Does your character have any special skills?:Wonderful sword and bow skills and good at building and is sneaky!

-A screenshot of your skin: N/A

-Other Information: He can fight like no one else!

[TheAlmightyOst 47]

Denied, application too short.

[CrazyPurpleSnowman 0]

Denied, application too short.

Too short? How long does it have to be?

[MonsterMoo 3]

Ya hate to say it but you put no effort into this. Try again, even mine wasn't accepted and I spent all day making it.

[Undeadflayme 0]

Too short? How long does it have to be?

it should be at least 2 paragraphs. it seems to work for most people.

[Auliverius Xemenez 1]

First off,Remove the ,it's a nuisance to look at and it makes your application look really sloppy.Second,don't leave simple answers like "Yes" trying giving an explanation as to why your character can do what he or she can do.Third is your grammar,You don't need the usage of ! a lot in your sentences Try making your sentences more declarative so that it actually sounds like your being serious about it.Fourth,TAKE YOUR TIME,No offense but my lord this just is rushed and sloppy.The biography is just messy,don't say something like "Oh yeah my characters parents died and I was kidnapped" That's way to short.

Try taking these tips when making a biography of your character:

-At least try to stay away from cliches,it just makes the bio bland and unoriginal.

-Have a good history of your character.

-Write something about your character unique,what people will know your character for.

-Personality:Does anyone have a love or hate relationship with that character? A great tip is taking someone's personality you know in real life that you know well,but not to well,and try to act out how to they would feel about something and the good thing is that you don't know the person too well so that leaves room for imagination.

-Another useful tip for biography's is that there's something were you can write a story of a story that's at least over 100 years old,but try to alternate it so that it's different but still has the basic concept,it's not illegal either because for example people have wrote about Cinderella a lot because that story is over 100 years old and people pass it on and have there own story to write.

[M0n1e 1]

~ADVICE~

I have read your application and there are a few errors:

Your application seems a bit confusing. When your re-write it please look for your errors.

Your biography is too short and it has many spelling, grammar and punctuation mistakes. You also keep writing 'i' when it is a upper capital letter when it's on its own; instead of 'i' it should be 'I'.

Also just because you have a button for an exclamation mark doesn't mean you need to use it; I grew up in a small village in the dense forest karuga! My parents died and i had nowhere to go so i ran away and brought my bow and arrows! While i was running away some orcs found me and captured me! All i remember now is that someone saved me and i dont know who! I woke up in a strange temple with no bow or arrows! Now i have to start my journey to find who saved me and end the orc race!. You have many un-necessary exclamation marks were full stops should be. There is a total of 5 exclamation marks in it. You could change then for full stops and it would look better. Please to elaborate on your biography. I seems really dull and short.

Please also re-read your information in both your out-of-character and in-character information as it is also unclear, and unspecified. Use more safisticated adjectives.

I hope you take this as creative critism.

Please re-type.

Otherwise, keep trying.

[CrazyPurpleSnowman 0]

Thanks for the help guys, I really appreciate it. Sorry for the application.

[DKC1011 10]

Hehe!. Maybe you should stop putting exlemation marks after every sentence! it makes it look like your shouting at us! :P