Tales At The Tavern!

[Charles_Grimlie 1072]

*Takes a great gulp from his large decorated tankard, and licks his lips leaving a loud belch and a sigh of relief behind he then brushes his beard, and speaks.*

Ah ye ask 'ow me an' me bludeh cousin Urir got out ov da undead 'ell 'ole dat da undead made Kal'urguan intu eh? Well we'll 'ave tu start frum 'ow we got dere in da first place!

Da undead W'ere on da ruf ov da castle castin' dere weak spells ov da damned ta summon our dead kin frum dere eternal graves, an' udder nedder beasts.. Ah tink ah saw me own fadder dere tu! Fancy killin' I'm again! Urir an' meself were climbin' da roof foightin off weak 'ordes ov minions dat da undead threw at us! Bludeh easy dey where. *takes a pause from the story, and tilte his head back yelling* "YA 'EARD DAT YA BLUDEH ROTTIN' CARPETS! YER BLUDEH WEAK! AN' YE LORD IBLEES TUH!" *Kjell then coughs into his aged arm, and resumes his tale* Aye! So me cousin an ah fought towards da undead summoners, durin' dis toime da udder dwarves fled da ruf loike cowards an' ran out ov da castle! An' dey bludeh took da bridge wit em! Urir an ah were trapped on da castle foightin' 'ordes till we reached our goal, an' we did! We killed every last minion dey could summon befer dey reloized dat dere wusnae way tu escape a Ire'eart! Da blue robed un Ah fought began to walk backwards tryin' ta flee! Ah followed 'im but den slipped in da bludeh substance dey call magma sloime an' fell intu sum summoned lava dey left in da 'oles ov da roof...

*Chuckles* Wut ye tink it be ovah! NAE! Ah bludeh swam out ov da lava loike da Ire'eart ah wus an' ran towards me foe wit nae pause! Ah slammed me sword against 'is fawkin' rotting skull! Ovah an' ovah! Affer 'itting fer a w'oile Ah stopped... Da bludeh rottin fool grinned at me, 'is 'ead wus still dere! Ah swung at 'is ribs only tu 'ave me sword be knocked out ov me bludeh 'and! Bludeh magick ah say... Dey shudda out lawed dat bludeh stuff frum Kal'Urguan!... Affer a moment ah noticed me cousin Urir 'ad da same bludeh problem! 'e luked ovah tu me, we knew we coulda beat dese bludeh weaklin' bastards! Wit nae way to leave we 'ad un option... Down! We ran tu Thorik's throne, an 'it da lever wit 'aste! Frum dere we slid down da ladder tu foind ourselves in Kal'Urguans vaults! Urir an' meself Grinned at un anudder wit greed! We began tu grab all we culd get! Ingots, ores, crystals, tools, an udder precious stones... Ah told Urir we 'ad tu get out ov dere! An so Urir 'avin' sum knowledge ov moinin' made an Iron pick, an' Ah meself made a wuden un! Wut? Ah'm a foighter nae a moiner! We took turns singin' merry ballads, an' diggin 'oles till we 'it da wall ov da lad named Broski's vault! Nae as impressive but still gud! We "borrowed" all we culd! Throwin' da less valuables away. We foinally got out ov da vault an' den reloized dat we were goin' tu be da last children ov Urguan tu walk da 'alls... Suh we took Urguan's bludeh anvil wit us! Foindin' a few survivors we collected homage frum da rest of Kal'Urguan an' made a quick escape up a secret pass in me kin's man krugor's 'ome! Dat we found w'en we were buildin' it! Now on da surface we got word ov da exodus tu tazarak, an' we marched wit da gaint anvil on our shoulders tu tazarak, it wus bludeh 'ard puttin' it trough da portal, and up da decayin' stairs but we made it!

Dwarves gathered around us wit dis belief an' welcomed us back wit glee tu see da moighty Ire'earts aloive! Wit all ov Kal'Urguan's riches in our pockets!

Now ah must avenge da dwarvern 'ome ov Kal'Urguan... *sniffs, and wipes a tear away from his eye* Ah'll avenge me own 'ome as a proud dwarf dat Ah be, fer all ov ye me brudders! Hail tu da dwarves! YA FAWKIN' ROTTIN' BASTARDS! YE DAMNED WILL PAY FER YER OWN DEMISE AT DA 'ANDS OV DA MOIGHTY DWARVERN KINGDOM! *Throws his mug of ale in the air hitting a dwarf behind him in the head, he then proceeds to flip the table he was sitting at, and marches out the door with his diamond armour in fury.*

[Goldrim 1422]

*As he polishes his Axe Francisca he hears a loud "THUD", he walks towards the tavern as he sees his cousin Kjell in a fury.* Ah cousin, 'a can see why yer upset we'll bludeh get 'em Undead bastards suun', when tha' day comes oi'll stand by yer soide foightin' 'em loike we did on the castle's ruuf! *he laughs in excitement, slamming his hand on his leg in laughter."

[no longer active 734]

Don't worry, our time will come to make those Undead pay for their crimes.

[Hiebe 2493]

(good story lol basically thats how it went down and was pretty epic)

[Toryk Embane 8]

*gets hit on the back of the head*Dammit who be throwen mugs around! * takes a seat and resumes drinking his pint*(nice tale, wish I had been there...)

[Boomack21 124]

Moved to the Great Library. It shall be sorted into appropriate category shortly.