The Trials Of Hobb

[Sporadic 2844]

((special thanks to luchian for being a good sport.))

 

The following is an unbound book left within the inner recluses of Haelun'or library for citizen perusal. It is adorned with a crude drawing of a goblin wearing High Elven robes, snickering to himself as a tall Elfess points him onwards. Papers are stacked messily below this cover, with room for more parchment to be included on the fly.

 

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Your author is Ellir'siol, and she would like to share with elthilln a marvelous story of goblin stupidity persistence. The Goblin that marvels in this particular story is one that presented himself to me as 'Hobb'. 'Hobb Mali'Ahoral' was his full name, no doubt a clever idea by Goblin standards, and not even the weakest part in this creature's High Elf disguise.

 

The story of Hobb is ongoing, for it is his wish to one day be granted a house in the city of Haelun'or. But woe, in order to apply for such, he must first pass the seven trials of the Mali'aheral.

 

"I never heard of any trials" You say? Quiet, you bitter old oaf, and read onwards. These are totally legit and must be applied in 100% of the golbin-in-elf-disguise scenarios you will ever come across. Larihei demands it.

 

Oem: The trial of Poetry.

Hobb was told that all High Elves must write a poem of grandeur, specifically one about his first true love. Unsurprisingly, Hobb elected a fine white bird to be his first true love, and applied his snot upon the white pages to craft a true work of art.

 

Alas, for this trial to be finished, Hobb must first recite his poem for an audience with acquired taste. Someday this month he will be guided to the bustling square of Malinor, and recite his craft for all to hear. 

 

Niut: The trial of the Wildebeest.

The story goes that Golden Wildebeest roam the forests around Malinor, mystical and magical creatures that speak only Elven. Hobb was told to find this creature and petition ("Peetishun?" - "It means 'ask', Hobb") for one of its golden eggs, for all of us know that Wildebeests lay eggs. Not discouraged or doubtful of this fantastical quest, the goblin spurted off with haste.

 

To my surprise and disgust, Hobb returned with a disgusting red creature comprised of assorted fungi, belching mushroom goop and stinking awfully. This beast was unlike anything I've seen around the forest, and it is quite possible Hobb poisoned a cow with latent shamanic magics. Regardless, after much belching and clothes being ruined forever, the cow vomited a gold ingot. I do not know how, or if the Elven phrase "marikrir ito kae'leh", which I told him to say, meant anything to it, but I try not to think about it too much. My sanity is quickly fading.

 

Hael: The trial of the animal King.

Hobb is currently on his way to the kingdom of Oren, accompanied by an animal of choice and a Dwarf witness. Here he was told to display his dismay for the tyrants of Valah. To do so, he is to place an animal upon the throne of Oren, and display it to his Elf Witness (who, in this case, happens to be a dwarf.)

 

I asked him if he wished to give up, but he seemed absolutely not discouraged. However, I am most certain he will get bored of his trials long before I get bored of sending him on ever more absurd errands.

 

 

Will Hobb give up? Will he make it to the final trial, only to discover it will be something truly impossible? Does Hobb's disguise looks an awful lot like Kalenz, or Kalenz look an awful lot like a goblin? Perhaps we will find out.

[Jon Evaglno 202]

Jon probably couldn't and wouldn't see this. But, if he did, he would chortle for a moment and go on with his business.

[[Meanwhile in Haelun'or]]

[Destroyer_Bravo 1054]

Ellsia punched the cow in the face for Hobb.

 

Yup.

[Luchian 214]

Hobb cuckles to himself as he finishes the third trial... He had found a cave spider in the woods, and it had chased him all the way from the high elves city to the human city. The way had proven to be open, and he found himself infront of the throne with the cave spider.. He quickly knocked it out and placed it upon the throne laughing manically..

 

Now he needed to travel to the forest twiggies city, and have the high princess kiss him.. It would be a simple task, because of his charms, but perilous, for she might not want him to leave, or even worse.. She might fall in love with his looks, luckely he had this ugly mask on, so the chance was lessened.

[Tethras 278]

Farren watches from the trees, laughing to himself maniacally. Soon his evil plot shall commence... soon.

 

((It's things like this that make LoTC. Props to you guys ^_^ . I haven't laughed at an rp post/posts like this in awhile. Absolutely brilliant.  ))

[Lyuin 65]

(( My fair Mali. ))

[Birdwhisperer 1174]

Moved to the Great Library. It shall be sorted into appropriate category shortly.