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“♫ My sweetheart, come along!
Don’t you hear the fond song,
The sweet notes of the nightingale flow?
Don’t you hear the fond tale
Of the sweet nightingale,
As she sings in those valleys below?
So be not afraid
To walk in the shade,
Nor yet in those valleys below,
Nor yet in those valleys below ♫”
IT WAS ONLY A half hour into dawn when the sun made her claim on the hillside, peeking out from over yonder. Octavia had been wide awake before then, restless in any attempt to sleep, so her time was spent in the company of the first morning light. Her singing was silvery amidst the peace. Only a little louder than a hum, not to wake Friedrich in his slumber. He deserved his rest. She held a hand up towards the sky and countered the birds in flight. A task so meaningless, so mundane. She exhaled harshly.
The Alstreim couple were residing in their new lodgings for a month now. As much as there were comforts aplenty, Octavia could not settle. “Make use of the utilities here - the alchemy lab, the library. This will be your home.” They had told both herself and Friedrich. Yet, even now with only the servantry roaming the halls did she feel like a trespasser. It was a common occurrence, this alienation; a lurching pit in her stomach. It was the same in Cascanova, the same in Elizabeth, the same now. There was nowhere that held a sense of familiarity, or true calling. Home became a noun only when Octavia was by her husband’s side, and she hated that. The dependency, the clinginess. It was living with a purpose that wasn’t her own but the leech off of the existence of Friedrich’s family name. This ‘new’ Octavia was not the same as her predecessor - doe-eyed, young Octavia with a dream and a plethora of knowledge. Instead, she was a brassy title and confined to her predicaments.
Although she held these sentiments, she was still grateful that they had a roof over their head. War was a vicious beast, and it always ensured that no one would go away unscathed. The blunder of the Alban people had been weighing on Octavia’s mind a lot as the conflict was brewing, and never had it sat right with her the way it played out. The same faces that spoke of seeking justice for the problems they caused took on the form of ghosts now, with different faces. Faces that welcomed them a second time. Her trust was wavering. Somewhat. It was a challenge to abandon the future that was planted in aspirations, but it was a necessary precaution for them. It’s what she told herself, day-in and day-out.
Conflicted, a wave of nausea stunted her thoughts. She braced her hands on the rails of the balcony and peered down. Temperance, temperance, temperance. That one ball years ago and the dreaded fear she possessed. Conformity, rejection - masking, masks. Like the song, the valley below, she gulped for fresh air. Festering, bubbling, boiling over. The world was spinning out of control. This fear had struck her mad since she could remember. Always venturing, but never settling. The situation was forever out of her control. Octavia's panic rose in her chest, and she squeezed her eyes shut.
When she opened them once more, the kindest grey eyes greeted her own. He did not have the chance to even utter a word before Octavia desperately wrapped her arms around him, squeezing Friedrich tightly. Whatever the cause of action was now, they would have to wait this period out. A time of transition, of changes. Uncertainty lingered, but slowly was their growth to acceptance. There needed to be self-discipline, resilience. As the song goes, and so she hummed quietly to herself:
“♫ She was no more afraid
For to walk in the shade,
Nor yet in those valleys below ♫”