Nononymous

*A few posters are scattered throughout the Cloud Temple, the Dwarvern city, Malinor, and just outside the High Elven city of Hael'unor. The posters depict a crude sketch of armor, and it seems to be shaded in with yellow dye, possibly meaning the armor is golden. A skull is drawn under the armor, and under the skull is a long line of text filled with information and a description of the armor.* I, Warden Mentecor of the Lumi'drim, have recently slain the Skeleton Commander of the beasts of the North. I successfully acquired his armor, and have hidden it in a secret place where none will find it. As this same creature was found with other, unmentionable dark objects which have already been dealt with, I believe mages may be able to acquire certain knowledge from it, or perhaps a warrior might enjoy using this armor. I also own the sword of said Skeleton Commander, so if you would like to buy this too, feel free to do so, however I may keep it to deal with monstrosities of the supernatural kind. The starting bid for the armor is 500 Minas, and for the blade, 300 minas is the minimum bid I will accept. Due note that I cannot receive any mail currently, as my mailbox seems to have been broken by vandals ((something glitched; I'll get it fixed later)). Please respond to my posters by directing your letters to the Malinor Stables, as I will easily find them there. I look forward to being contacted, - Warden Mentecor ((OOC Disclaimer: This armor is not enchanted, nor is the blade. They have no special properties, though I could likely ask the person who ran the event if I could get the armor/blade specially named so that they're "special." This armor is more of an artifact than anything else, and it is slightly damaged (I had to attack/kill him to get the armor) so don't expect any special, magical armor OOC. Thanks!))

((How is that related at ALL to being a Nazi? Please, I'd love to hear your reasoning.))

Aha, "Moo" is catching on. I'll try adding some of your suggestions to the guide, however, when I said lose all the time, that was more of a hyperbole to exaggerate my point. Regardless, thanks for all the positive reviews! You lot know how to make a guy feel good! (And if I see one more person forget to put "moo" I swear to Aeriel someone's gonna' get blacklister [VAT Aboose])

How to Be A Nether of a Villain “Halt!” yelled the ominous man as the merchant approached. Alarmed, the merchant inquired, “What is it?” Upon the merchant’s remark, the eerie fellow unsheathed a knife. The merchant yelped and put his hands in the air. “I don’t want any trouble mister!” The eerie man continued grinning, his head tilted to the side. He stared down at the merchant and asked. . . “Want some bread?” At this, the eerie man cut a slice of bread for the merchant and continued smiling. The merchant laughed nervously. “Aha! That’s funny! I genuinely thought I was being robbed!” The no-longer eerie man replied, “You are, *****. Cough up the minas.” Likely, your head is spinning now. “What the nether did I just read?” That’s called a good “minas or die” bandit. While most people complain about them, it’s because these bandits often lack a certain quality that is vital to bandit success; comedy. Below you shall find all the different kinds of villains I understand. I have RPed on this server for two years, so I like to think I know everything. If you even try to correct me, I’ll slap you silly. The biggest fundamental of this server is, no matter how many times people whine and complain, the server relatively has inertia: we don’t change much. Ever. Now you shall read all the key qualities that are required in each genre of villain, and believe me, all villains can be classified. Yes, even the Perfectionist. Yes, even Knox. Yes, even the Tiled Performer. In fact, those three make up one of the rarer, harder to execute genres, but you’ll read more on them later. 1. Guards “Guards aren’t evil!” you shout at me. Shut your ignorant mouth. Guards are the epitome of evil. Before I explain why, think to yourself why this could be true. Here’s a few ideas to jog your memory; extortion of money, need to cause chaos in cities (COUGH COUGH ABRESI), killing unprovoked, arresting those who are clearly innocent, and not to mention stealing all of the women. Guards are typically viewed unfavorably if they are, in fact, villainous. When people here of guards, they should think of this: Instead, they think of this: Don’t be a jackass. If you’re a guard, be a good guy. End of story. (Unless you are a political villain using your position as guard to navigate the city. In that case, keep it up) 2. The Thief Well duh, thieves are evil. Granted, they’re not horrible people either. You don’t burn a kid who steals a cookie at the stake and declare him a heretic. . . unless you do. In which case, f**k you if you’re burning children. Off topic, I should be talking about thieves, not burning kids, as that’s a different kind of villainy. Thieves should be pickpockets and nothing more. Why do you think we have the expression, “a petty thief.” Hint, THIEVES ARE PETTY. If you’re nothing more than a Thief, remain so, don’t become a marauder or a raider. That’s a different villain. Stay TRUE to your character. Now, if you want to be successful as a Thief, you have to do these things; 1. Pickpocket 2. Break-ins 3. Kidnappings All of these must be executed with one, two, or three of the following: comedy, evil geniusness (it’s a word, just don’t look it up, smart-alec), or madness. If you’re good at making people laugh, take the comedy approach. Don’t be a troll, but win people over with your character’s witty antics and clever repartees. Evil geniusnees relies on assuming the position of Keyser Söze. Nuff’ said. And as far as madness, I think all I have to do is show you a picture to prove RPing madness works. 3. The Bandit Here is where the marauder/raider comes into play. Most of the guards on LoTC are, in fact, classified as bandits due to their antics. Bandits live only to cause chaos and, like thieves, gain a little bit of money. However, bandits are different from thieves in that they also seek violence and wish to kill people. This is their innermost desire. Unfortunately, many guards on this server are under the impression they are lawful good, and thus fail to recognize they are bandits at heart. To RP a bandit successfully, you must be able to state the same phrase over and over again in new, fresh ways. The phrase is, of course, “Minas or die.” A large part of being a bandit is having a gang of buddies to back you up. If there are 3+ of you, the person you are assaulting likely won’t try to powergame beating you. However, if they do, there’s always ban reports. Now when I say gang, I don’t mean become mobsters, I’m reffering more to Moe, Curly, and Larry (the three stooges). Make the victim ENJOY being robbed. While sadistic and kinky, it’s better not to question these things. At the end of the day, Bandits have to make sure to separate their OOC desire for minas and their ability to create good RP. 4. The Assassin Just don’t. Stop it. No. Ezio, get down from that perch. No, seriously. Stop. No! C’mon! No one likes it when you start pretending to do parkour! No! Ezio! EZIO! Ha! See what you did? Landed flat on your arse, and you wanna’ know why? BECAUSE WE’VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU! That’s right assassins, if you can’t RP the assassin characteristic correctly, DON’T DO IT AT ALL! People seem to define being an assassin as: I’ve enclosed in spoilers what will happen to you if you are a bad assassin. BAD ASSASINS: What classifies you as a bad assassin, you ask? Mainly, it’s peoples expectance to win. If you are a villain, you SHOULD NOT be winning. Ever! At all! NO EXCEPTIONS! The point of being a villain is to give your RP partner the FEELING of being a HERO. If you want to be a badass with swords coming out of his wrists, become Wolverine’s retarded brother or play Assassin’s Creed, because LoTC is not for you. If you want to be a GOOD assassin, which once outlined for you, won’t be too hard, you must do the following!: 1. Be prepared to lose battles 2. Don’t have excessive weaponry; carry 1-2 daggers with you at most 3. Avoid conflict! USE POISON! 4. Actually find and carry out contracts. 5. Don’t advertise you’re an assassin. If you want to continue being a special snowflake (shout-out to my buddy HeeroZero), go ahead, but I’ll be laughing when people complain about your bad RP and I can call you a special snowflake. (God I love that phrase) 5. The Cultist The Cultist; this usually consists of Iblees worshippers, terrorists, extremists. These are very hard to find villains, if they are ACTUAL cultists. I have very little to criticize about cultists. To be honest, they’re typically veteran villains who work hard. If I have any complaints, it’s for the playerbase to STOP METAGAMING THE EXISTENCE OF CULTISTS! YOU’RE RUINING EVERYONE’S FUN! In all seriousness though, to be a Cultist, you must be able to accept metagaming. There are no other key features to RPing a cultist. Metagaming will be a feature of your day-to-day RP life, and I’m sorry, but there is no way of changing this. You will get frustrated, and you may quit, but remember at the end of the day this is just a game. If you’re not enjoying being a cultist, don’t RP as one, because you can’t expect the world to change around you: change to fit the world. 6. The Leader The Leader is possibly the hardest position to fill. Leaders will typically be the most emotional, sensitive, and power-hungry people OOCly you will ever meet, and yet very firm, morale-raising RPers. The Leaders will often run gangs of Cultists, Thieves, Assasins, Guards, and Bandits. . . You name it. The only situation you will never find a Leader in is with the Psychopath, but they are to be mentioned later. Leaders will typically be the most invested in their characters, and they’ll relatively care too much about their men, or care too little. It is rare to find a perfect balance. Leaders, to be successful such as August Flay/Prince, must be dedicated to the server OOCly, have plenty of time to spare IRL, creative, and unbelievably devious. These are the qualities to be a good villain leader. To actually RP a leader, you must either be aloof or insane. Aloof leaders will let their men do whatever they please, and the minions will love you for it. Insane leaders are often obsessed with their power, and they must be very active with their members to maintain their image. Insane leaders must be mysterious, unfamiliar, unpredictable, and very successfully with their plans. Otherwise, you’re screwed. There will be mutiny. You will be overthrown. No one will care about you. 7. The Psychopath Oh god help me, this ones gonna’ be a pain to cover. Psychopaths, we love em’, we hate em’, but Aeriel nether it, they’ve got some dang good RP. Some people are wanna-be psychopaths, but I don’t care enough to correct them. If you’re a bad psychopath, people will let you know. To RP a psychopath, you must BE the psychopath IRL. You have to be able to flip a switch from normal, IRL you to a dark creature from the black lagoon, like Miley Cyrus. Poor Miley, went from Disney Princess to naked chic on a wrecking ball. There’s the real psychopath. Moving on, psychopaths must have a spiel of sorts; something of their very own that makes them unique amongst villains. The Perfectionist is a terrifying, artistic mime that can rise people from the dead, Knox wears a pumpkin on his head and practically dissects people, and the Tilted Performer likes to give people extra body parts (tried to give me a bird mask once). These are ideal psychopaths. Here is the key to be a psychopath. LOSE! LOSE! LOSE! All you have to do is act crazy, and LOSE! That’s it! If you have the creativity and the ability to not give a damn, then props to you, you’re ready to RP as a psychopath! Ask Geoboy66 how many times he wins a battle. That silly boy as a KDR of about 1/100,000,000. At this point, the guide is concluded, however I wanna’ mess with some people who just skim and scroll to the bottom, then write “Great post!” Screw those guys. I’ll show them who’s boss. If you’re gonna’ comment and show that you read it thoroughly, please include a random “moo” in your comment. I want to see who ISN’T lazy. By the way, if you liked the guide, feel free to pay me like, 50 minas. No, it’s not corrupt. I worked hard on this. I deserve it. How do you think I’m supposed to feed my family? Gimme’. 8. You You, yeah, you’re a villain. A villain for not reading my guide thoroughly, jerk. Scroll back up to the top and read it! Don’t look around all confused! You’re wasting my time! GO ON! SCROLL BACK UP! Don’t give me that, “I read it,” crap. You skimmed. Go back up and read it.

Several posters are nailed to buildings throughout the city of Malinor; each one bears the sigil of the Lumi’drim. The well made posters seem very durable, and hold a bounty of information for the reader. Your protectors, the Lumi’drim, seek to protect you even further. We will not make the mistake of underestimating petty criminals and other dangerous foes. In an effort to reduce crime and further reward our guards for work well done, the leaders of the Lumi’drim have devised a system in which you, the people, can aid us to eliminate any threat to Malinor. A chest has been placed outside the barracks of the Lumi’drim near the main gate (the gate nearest the well). In this chest, citizens of Malinor may place books filled out with certain information; the information must be relevant to criminal activity. For example, should a denizen bear witness to a crime taking place, they may fill out a slip of paper ((a book)) with the following information: ((RP)) Name: Appearance (Hair color, eye color, gender, etc.): Accusation: Surplus Bounty: The Surplus Bounty is an extra amount of money someone can offer for the imprisonment of a criminal; often times, the March-Warden and Wardens will place a bounty on it themselves relative to the crime, however a Surplus Bounty can give extra incentive to guards and thus speed along the process. Surplus Bounty is not necessary, but highly recommended. Please use the chest frequently, as it will greatly aid the process of eliminating crime in Malinor. Thank you, - the Lumi’drim

OOC: MC name: Jtheo2016 Skype name: stealersfan1997 Timezone: USA, EST IC: Of what race are you?: Wood Elf Of what age are are you?: 28 What combat experience do you have?: None; I usually take the position of a scholar of management, as I lack prowess with weaponry. As I lack skills with the sword, I feel I could excel in the area of archery, though I'd need practice. Do you belong to any other orders or guilds?: No. Do you swear on the Mali people to uphold peace and order in the Elven nation?: Of course, yes.

Choice 1: Headmaster of College/Scribe Choice 2 (if applicable): Ambassador Choice 3 (if applicable): Captain of Navy ((Heard position was open and in need of filling. Figured I’d offer my help!)) Please note that any of these three lower council positions would sate my hunger to aid Malinor. I do not seek power; I seek only to aid my brothers and sisters. ((MC name)): Jtheo2016 (RP) Name: Mentecor Race: (Suspected) Wood Elf Age: 28 Gender: Male Do you have a family, if so how many members will be residing with you: No living relatives. ((Please state your time zone)): United States, EST ((Please state your average playing time)): - Weekdays, 0-3 Hours - Weekends, 3-5 Hours ((Please state why we can trust you with this job)): To be frank, I’ve always been trying to get into politics RP without the necessity of becoming a Human noble, and this seems the best solution. I like to consider myself casual friends with many of the leaders within the Malinor Nation and wish to strengthen said friendships. I feel that RPing in one of these positions is the next big step in increasing my RP abilities and providing more fun for other players. I understand while the title “VAT” may spark images of my character being a psychopath ICly that wishes nothing more than to overthrow the government, I can guarantee that will not happen. As proof, I've already risen the ranks of the Lumi'drim in an attempt to prove my character's worth. I am active both on the forums and IG, and I have helped in progressing Malinor's success with my ideas. I really believe I can be trusted with this job. I really hope I can join in on the roleplay, and I look forward to hearing back from you! ((Do you use skype?)): Yes ((How long have you been on the server?)): Aproximately 2 years (A little bit longer I think) ((Why, as a player, do you wish to join the lower council?)): I mainly wish to join the lower council for RP sake and to get involved with Elven culture, however another large part of why I wish to get involved is to reintroduce a Golden Age of the Elves back in Aegis, back when the Elves wielded a massive army of Wardens that even struck fear into the Orcs. As a Warden of the Lumidrim already, joining the Lower Council is the next big step for my character's progression. What nation do you reside in, if any: None. Do you hold any allegiances to other nations and or organizations/guilds? If so state them, and their nature: None as of present. Do you have any work experience, if so where and what: Very little work experience; I have worked as a scribe before, though I have not spent extensive allotments of time in it. I am fairly young for an Elf, and I hope my age can be looked past, thus I lack much work experience. Everyone must start somewhere though, correct? Do you have a criminal record, if so state your offenses: No criminal record. Why do you feel you are suited for Job Choice 1: I prefer to consider myself an intellectual above all else. I am not one for swordplay or intense combat, though I am not entirely inclined to drift from these areas either. As a College Headmaster I could excel, and as a Scribe, the preferable of the two, I could soar. I pride myself in my writing and believe my talents would be well spent within the Princedom. If applicable, why do you feel you are suitable for Job Choice 2: As an Ambassador, I’d be able to absorb other cultures and diffuse the better aspects throughout Mali culture. I find myself fairly persuasive when speaking with others, and I can easily switch from speaking with long, eloquent words to short, simple phrases. While I’d be more fitted as a scribe, an Ambassador would be another close match for me. If applicable, why do you feel you are suitable for Job Choice 3: I may not actually be suitable for Naval Captain, and I only added it as I heard one was needed. While I might not be good on the open seas, I would certainly be helpful in handling paperwork for commissioning ships, managing soldiers and sailors, checking supplies that need transport, and other such activities. I could likely learn to navigate well and absorb the typical “sea jargon,” thus I feel while I am not yet fitted to be a Captain, with training I could be. However, I already have some very useful leadership skills which I've acquired as a Warden of the Lumidrim. State any comment that you think may aid you in this application here: I look forward to reading your reply! I hope that, despite my age, my application will be looked at thoroughly, and I can assure you that you will find no Elf who will try harder and work more vigorously for the Princedom. Best regards, -Mentecor.