milksoda

im boutta sound like a real jerk so im sorry but 3/6 of these exist already :c

Trouble in J-Burg ⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅ THERE IT IS. AND THERE IT SHALL REMAIN. Seeking to crush the ego that these stones were built upon, the ROCK shall not discriminate. THERE IT IS. AND THERE IT SHALL REMAIN. The pride of the Maehr who will not reconcile, our wings cindered from naught the rays of the sun but the dim MOON’s glimmer. THERE IT IS. AND THERE IT SHALL REMAIN. A FLOCK who has been displaced for all time. THERE IT IS. AND THERE IT SHALL REMAIN. All Primarchs through time, with hands raised to keep what remains of that DYING flock alive. THERE IT IS. AND THERE IT SHALL REMAIN. The ashes our people rise from, time and time AGAIN. ⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅ [!] Depicted The Primarch warding the big dumb meteor from smushing J city with her mind. ⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅ MAEHR LONG AND FAR - KATANA WIELDING BACKFLIPPERS OF DAYS LONG PAST; ALL MAEHR. I PLEAD TO YOU. IRON CAN ONLY BECOME STEEL THROUGH FIRE AND LABOR. OUR IRON IS BRITTLE AND OUR STEEL MUSHY. PROVE TO THE MOON THAT OUR LIVES ARE WORTH LIVING. I AM LOCKED INTO THE CITY WITH ARMS RAISED, BEARING SUCH HEAVY BURDEN UPON MY OWN TWO SHOULDERS. I WEEP (WAA WAA WAA) I WEEP (BOOHOO) FOR THE FUTURE OF MY FLOCK, AND OUR PEOPLE. WHAT IS A PRIMARCH WITHOUT CITIZENS TO BEND THE CRAZY STRAW FROM WHICH SHE SLURPS? WITHOUT OTHERS TO MOCK IT, A SILLY STRAW IS SIMPLY A STRAW. We must reignite our city, or we will be left praising the crater it leaves in its wake, praying to rise from its ashes once more. ⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅ The Primarch <3

Hey its me, Goku! You seem pretty strong, wanna spar?

THE FIRST DECREE ⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅ ⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅ [!] In the abandoned lands an unbecoming leader ponders the needs of a dying city. A crown across her head blinds her judgment, emanating a malignant energy. The Maehr then traveled across the lands and heeded the words of merchants and retired leaders alike. . . “Moneh makes teh world go around lass! Tat’s wot every GOOD empire needs!” Spoke a wizened and sagely dwed to a cloaked, disguised Primarch; as the longbeard rose a merry stein! “Yes, YES. We need treasure! People LOVE treasure!” She'd chirp to herself alone. The Primarch took to the abandoned houses of the city, wrought with soot and cobwebs and with the touch of Laura's blessing did their old trinkets spin to pure Aurum. For one whole day did GOLD rain down from the moonlit skies of The Ashen City. ⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅ ⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅•⋅ Unfortunately. . .The GRANDIOSE Nor’Velythian treasury of approximately 50,647 minae soon suffered inflation, alas - this Primarch was uneducated in the field of basic economics. Soon did the worth of the Nor’Velythian treasury slim down to a measly 398.2 mina! Too much gold, so much no one could run away with it all! Soon did the leader learn of her mistake and she casted the remaining gold into the spiraling and dangerous cave system beneath the city, guarded by its monsters alone. Ripe for adventurers to come and take it, if they dared. “Oopsie!” declared Laevona as her first decree. OOC Please read before interacting:

werm ! 😎

konichi'ug

"I like kani-sutra better as a name." -Ugokoyama Atsuko 💯

JENNY HAD AWOKEN NAUGHT ONLY FROM SLUMBER BUT FROM BLINDNESS, VISIONS OF FLAMING SHRUBBERY EMBOSSED THEMSELVES UPON THE THE VERY FABRIC THAT WEAVED HER DREAMS "I must follow." GASPED THE EGREGORE, AS HER HEAD PRACTICALLY SLAM INTO THE HEADBOARD OF HER COMICALLY LARGE BED. IN CAIUSIAN FASHION DID THE ENTITY SEEK TO FIND THE WISE FATHER CALLAHAN.

Atsuko, whose Canonist name were once Aelia held the tear stained missive in quivering hands "W- who the **** is Jenny. . ." Though she casted aside comedic relief "There is nothing to apologize for, I have always been proud of you." - "No matter what." She'd exhale, lowering the missive and casting gaze outside the window, rethinking all the dancing classes she had enrolled him in as a young boy. The Samurai went outside, as she take sake gourd in hand and pop the cork. Pouring one out for a real religious man.

put me in coach.

Jenny threw the missive upwards in a fit of disappointment from comically large chair far too big for her as papers flew all over "WHAT?!? THEY STOPPED BEFORE THE BEST PART!" She'd yell at the paper like an indignant sports fan watching a soccer game on a small TV "AAGGGHHH THEY CANCELLED MY NEW FAVORITE REBELLION!"

Justice for BaconAvengerII

need.

THE GREAT HERO PACT And a Call to Heroes Abroad TO HEROES ABROAD AND ACROSS THE REALM OF BRAEVOS The following was written and drafted by Kato Oijin before his capture, found and finished by Ugokoyama Atsuko. It was Oijin's wish to refer to the virtuous as heroes; samurai always back the decisions of our immortal Uncle O. The following people pledge to the defense of one another in righteous unity against the forces of "Shinji Chan" the pig in Lich's cloth. Take up arms descendant-kind, the uncorrupted soul is the strongest when united! It is in the pursuit of justice against the forces of Iblees, Hirano Shinji and those that aid them, that we HEROES come together with swords raised in unison. We beckon heroic beings across the realm of similar spirit to join our cause. Should any guild or village be interested, seek out the following signatories and we will come to a vote on new members. Preamble: The contents of this passage shall serve as the written testament to the defensive alliance of the Honored Braevosi Heroes. All parties participating in this pact declare adherence to its terms under oath of blood, honor and soul to our ancestors. As such, the details of this treaty are listed below. Signatories of this pact hereby acknowledge that, with regard to Legalist Terminology, that their fellow Signatory (and any subsequent, lawful civilian within their domain) shall thus be referred to as “Hero”. Signatories, in accordance with the spirit of the Great Hero Pact, hereby pledge to act in the defense of one another with respect to sovereignty, borders, infrastructure integrity and against any harm levied unto their fellow Hero. Signatories, in accordance with the spirit of the Great Hero Pact, are thus given the OPTION (not obligatory) to aid their fellow Hero in any offensive act they may pursue with respect to sovereignty, borders or infrastructure integrity. Signatories agree to the apprehension and extradition of criminals within the territorial expanse of the Great Hero Pact. In the event a crime is committed by a citizen of any party, the accused shall be entitled to the provision of legal defense hailing from their homeland, and fair trial. Signatories thus permit their fellow Hero the ability to participate in their Bounty Boards in exchange for Mina or other reward. Signatories understand and acknowledge that though an open invitation exists for the addition of future Hero Factions, approval of such necessitates majority approval from current Signatories. UNDER THE WATCHFUL GAZE OF OUR ANCESTORS, THIS TREATISE IS AFFIRMED UNDER OATH OF BLOOD, HONOR AND WARRIOR SPIRIT, HER ROYAL MAJESTY, Tar-Caraneth Aryantë of the House Arthalionath, by the Grace of GOD, Queen of the Númenedain, Princess of Númenost and Minas Amath, Protector of the Adunians, Master of the Sharadûn, Templar of the Archangel Michael, Knight of the Realm SHUGO OJOU-SAMA, Ugokoyama Atsuko, Legendary Sanbushi, The Riveter, Rising Sun Templar and Onna-Busha of the Village Hidden Amidst the Sakura. HIS EMINENCE, Father Callahan, Bishop of Citrea HIS LORDSHIP, Ser Morgan of Angren, Knight of Lemon Hill Father Nerium, First Chorister All else who wish to formally join may reach out to Shugo Ugokoyama Atsuko Ojou sama (FunTzu) and pitch their case. Though you need not formally join to aid, you need only to rebel.

A FINAL RESPONSE In the days following Lurin’s Threats, the spirit of the village had been wounded by Shinji and his forces. With the loss of our Shugo, we have entrusted the future of the war effort to the honorable UGOKOYAMA ATSUKO. And so it is that the Village of Sakuragakure is wounded, but not defeated. It is the intent of the interim Shugo Ojou-Sama to carry out the will of Oijin and the Village until he is reclaimed - dead or alive. However, in this period, the King of Lurin - Mika - has yet to dismantle the production of Opium, nor has he delivered unto us the salt by which we may preserve our fish. More perverse is that Mika has still yet to relinquish the iniquitous actors who find shelter in his domain. However, Shugo Atsuko is a forgiving and noble woman. Though she believes Mika may be acting with his greatest of intentions in his denunciations of necrotic beings, his lack of action casts a shadow of doubt upon his words. When evidence is brought to light to such a degree, any sensible leader would denounce darkspawn. Even if they were darkspawn themselves. However, Atsuko Ojou Sama still does not believe this to be the true case, by mere hunch. A hunch is not decisive, thus, the Radiant Shugo Atsuko has deemed it necessary to provide a public account of the stance of the Oyashi peoples, so that all across Braevos may understand the motivations of the village and WHY we have chosen to pursue conflict. ISSUE I: SCRISA ANARION In a previous proclamation, the Shugo Oijin had already elaborated - at length - our grievance with Lurin with respect to the Princess Scrisa Anarion. To summarize, it was revealed to the Village of Sakuragakure that the Princess Scrisa had been involved with, and masterminded a Black Market dubbed the “Catacombs”. Hirano Shinji (also known as Gashadakuro) was welcomed into the confines of Lurin and had even worked alongside the Princess, who herself admitted that she thought she could use their power as her own. As a result, Hajime Aizumi had been presumably brutally murdered within the confines of Lurin. In the subsequent investigation, it was revealed to the Shugo Ugokoyama Atsuko that Scrisa had both the means, and supply, to procure an endless amount of cadavers for wretched purposes. ISSUE II: LUMIA ANARION AND THE ATRONACH In a subsequent incident, the Princess Lumia Anarion had ventured to the Village Hidden Amidst the Sakura so that she might claim a Katana that she had ordered from Ugokoyama Atsuko. Accompanying Lumia on this venture was that of an Atronach who exhibited great malice. When inspected at the gate, the Atronach declared that it was a weapon and that, had the Village decided to refuse it entry, it would have “destroyed” all who would oppose it. Upon hearing this, the Shugo commanded both the Construct and Princess Lumia to leave, to which he was ignored. The Shugo Kato Oijin thus drew his weapon and engaged in combat to forcibly remove the Atronach, where the construct proceeded to attempt and murder the Shugo, Ugokoyama Bata, Hajime Kosuke and a child - Watanabe Wei. In the subsequent battle, many villagers suffered grave burns and wounds - all while the Princess Lumia observed in silence, having made no effort to thwart the Atronach’s actions or issue commands to cease. Too did Princess Lumia depart amidst the battle, refusing to be held accountable for her entourage. In the following months and years, the Shugo’s Warband had thus decided to engage in a punitive campaign to settle both disputes with regards to the Lurinite Government as well as to search for Necromantic cabals hiding within the city. One may decry Civilian Casualty as one rightly should given the nature of war; however, the Shugo Atsuko emphasizes that civilians were not targeted without reason. It was in the presence of both Ugokoyama Atsuko and Danzen, that the very population of Lurin professed that there was no military or organized guard force, and that it was instead the community mob that administered justice. As a result, the only Military target that could exist IS the population itself. In the realm of sport, this is called a DI. Yet still, our actions are not without mercy. We have not blindly murdered the civilian population, and have offered mercy to many who had acted with honor. The intent remains noble: send Lurin a message. Further, the Village emphasizes that NO CHILD was targeted in our campaign, and that the only time a child had been harmed was when they dived IN FRONT of a charging Horse-of-War, most likely to paint the Samurai as barbarous. Yet still, the child was not slain. Though King Mika holds issue with our strong-willed response (most often citing a lack of diplomatic envoy), we emphasize that a Samurai’s envoy is his weapon. Further, Sakuragakure had reached the reasonable conclusion that attempting to extend words rather than steel would have fallen on deaf ears. After all, both Scrisa and Lumia are of Royal Title and had been deputized with official power within the realm of Lurin. It would have been greatly disrespectful to assume that a King had no knowledge pertaining to the actions of his councilors, let alone his own daughters. Too do we refuse to believe that Mika was unaware of the “Catacombs” or any other wretched affair in his city, given that it took two outsiders - Ugokoyama Atsuko and Danzen - a total of one hour to uncover their existence. Nonetheless, the time has passed. By now the necrotics that King Mika had sworn to apprehend and extradite have likely already altered their disguise or fled the city of Lurin, assuming that Lurin is truly searching for these wicked beings. If the King is to claim that he had intended to, or had failed to do so, then his lack of communication thus far indicates a negligent interest in the affair. Should Mika claim that the Village had yet to send an envoy (thus explaining his failure to act), then it shows that his intent to purge evil beings was conditional upon Sakuragakure’s diplomacy. And so it is that the Village of Sakuragakure is distrustful of King Mika’s intentions; after all, any sane man would profess a hatred of the Dark to save face! But Shugo Atsuko is a graceful, forgiving and trusting woman. And so it is that the Shugo Ojou-Sama, Ugokoyama Atsuko, wishes to offer a final olive branch in the pursuit of peace. Upon acceptance of these terms, all grievances levied by the Villagers of Sakuragakure shall be forgotten and both the Lurinite and Samurai may join hands in brotherhood towards the destruction of Shinji. THE TERMS ARE THUS: 45 Barrels of Salt. This is to aid the Village in preserving food amidst its famine, as well as to act as weregild to both the Kato and Ugokoyama Clans. The Total Dismantling of the Opium Trade; no poppy shall be grown upon Lurinite Soil. Opium is a blight upon the spirit of the descendant, and has led many-an-easterner astray. The arrest and extradition of the Barrowlord Astark, harbored by the local population. The arrest and extradition of the Necromancer Elliphas, harbored by the local population. IN THE EVENT that the Lurinite Government cannot surrender these villains, they shall consent to a FAIR and ORDERLY inquisition to attempt and root them out, the terms of which shall be discussed and agreed upon as potential future Allies between our people. In Conclusion, it is the expressed interest of the Shugo Ojou-Sama to fight the root causes of evil as UNIFIED DESCENDANTS. Thus, Ugokoyama Atsuko implores you to toss away your pride and join as brothers in the pursuit of true Virtue. Further, upon acceptance to these terms, the honorable Tar of Numendil shall speak to the Lurinite Government with respect to extending an invitation to join the GREAT HERO PACT. Failure to meet these terms will result in the perpetuation of the War of Poppies, a counteroffer is considered refusal, inquiries are encouraged but they will not put pause on the conflict. Furthermore, the conflict will continue until these reasonable demands are met, this is not a threat but a warning we want Lurin to be as darkspawn free as you do, Mika. There is always a chance to meet on the battlefield not as enemies, but united under a common goal. SHUGO OJOU-SAMA, Ugokoyama Atsuko. Legendary Sanbushi, Rising Sun Templar, the Riveter, Onna-Busha of the Village Hidden Amidst the Sakura. TENZO-SAMA, Ugokoyama Danzen. Legendary Sanbushi, Rising Sun Templar, Samurai of the Village Hidden Amidst the Sakura.

The Shugo-ess could not hear him, for she was all the way in Sakuragakure, though - should he wish to speak with her. The gates were still open. ((Just dm FunTzu))

Atsuko writes a missive back.

SHINJI, GET BACK IN THE ROCK TO THE PIG IN LICH'S CLOTH: A samurai lives, In every waking moment, Knowing he may die. —----------------------- I thank GOD above, For the chance to crush your skull, Again and again. TO THE LURINITES AND THE SHOGUNATE OF OYASHIMA: If you still wish war. Now would be the time to strike. We are wide open. —----------------------- After all I see. Who is rushing to aid you. The Necromancer. Fear is your freedom, “Gashadokuro”. Know my name Hirano Shinji, I know yours. ATSUKO OF UGOKOYAMA

not bushido tbh. - Ugokoyama Atsuko

"I thought that orcs liked to Klomp!" -Goku

✿❀ BY ORDER OF THE SHOGUNATE OF OYASHIMA✿❀ A MISSIVE TO THE WHELPS OF SAKURAGAKURE To call yourself a Shogun and not Daimyo in the face of greater Oyashima is heresy. The Shogunate, his Council of Nine, the Shinohasu, and any other enforcers of His will have erred in our permission to allow you unimpeded hospice within the barbaric lands of Aevos. The increase in rebel groups across even places as resolved in their virtue as Gushiken have increased significantly. Such can only be attributed to propaganda perpetuated by those beneath The False Shugo. Empty promises of pure Oyashi land outside of what has been blessed by His will, as deemed righteous by Kamisama himself, that steal our people away and lead them astray from virtue. Your authority is only as legitimate as your nation. The Divine Ishikawa Yorinobu in His infinite mercy has elected a second chance. To instill weight within meaningless accusations by Gushikenite tradition. The forces of Ishikawa Homura Ojou Sama will descend upon Sakuragakure and upon the success of her holy mission she will be declared the rightful successor to the Ishikawa name among her eight siblings. May Kamisama protect you in the Skies, for He will be more merciful than I. Signed The Honorable 石川ほむら The Eight Abstain Executively ordered and Endorsed by Divine Shogun Ishikawa

Atsuko smiles as Gushiken stocks rise.

Aaaahhhh!!! 😱

"Ok I GUESS I'll teach you about Hayawanananism."

nice to meet you too buddy