Zhulik

"31,000" offers the businessman. Edit: Another parchment is sent, cancelling the offer as the Businessman didn't believe a qalasheen freak was worth his family's fortune.

"Twenty-One thousand for the wench" states a pompous businessman, Darius.

"A good businessman doesn't start with five-hundred, you worm. I bid one hundred." States a plantation owner.

"1300!"

"Are you for sale?" Inquires a devilish Denesle with a white grin, wearing a red smoking jacket as he puffs a Candilan sweet stick, coconut chalice in hand. He exhales his smoke, jiggling a pouch of shiny minas.

"Wot?" Inquires Darius as he scrubs his plate of filthy crustaceans.

"Report to Ard'Ghorrock for Orientation."

"Dja, report to Ard'Ghorrock for further training."

Why can you have mud maidens but I can't have an an ebliontologist extra terrestrial grey-skinned alien??

R E P O R T HALLOWVALE HALLOWGLADE FORTY FIRST BUG SQUASHING BRIGADE ARD GHORROCK EXPEDITION DEPOSITORY SUBJECT: Narrative Report of Expedition, 41st Bug Squashing Brigade, 19th of The Grand Harvest, 1530 Our expedition force of the 41st Bug Squashing Brigade departed from Ard Ghorrock early in the morning. We left for Hallowglade after word from our Vandalore that creatures known as the Araxytes (large spider-like creatures) plagued the forested region below. He tasked us with the extermination of some as well as gathering the mother’s head. The expeditionary force was led by none other than I, the Vandalore’s Champion, Decimus Bulg ‘the Kingfish’. I was accompanied by the Vander’s Adil the ‘Eagle-Eyed’, Adawulf the ‘Iron-Blooded’ as well as the Unoathed Rodney Altman, James Aylward, and Kiveck Irelia. Our group gathered at the base of the mountainside. Throughout the forested region of Hallowglade was a thick morning fog. One could barely see through the fog even with the early morning sun’s rays shining bright. I gathered the group and then began to think of several various plans of how to pierce the forest without any, or with minimal casualties. To see within the fog, Adawulf was ordered to construct a makeshift torch out of a tree branch, oil, and cloth. I gathered the troops and decided it was best to puncture the tight forest routes in a line. I led first in the line, behind me James, then Rodney, then Wulf (He was to provide light all around us being in the center of the line.), Kiveck behind him and watching our rear flank, Adil. Wulf and Kiveck were commanded to be our archery support throughout the expedition. Adil was tasked with guarding them in the event of the archers coming under attack. James, Rodney, and myself were to be the main core of melee offense. With the plan set in stone, we marched. The fog created an atmosphere of fear, we had no clue what was watching us and where. Nafis had told us that Caliphate settlers had wanted to settle in this area, Hallowglade. No word came from them as they set out, and the only remains found were bones strung up in the trees by webs. We couldn’t see a thing, the canopy of thick oaken leaves didn’t help. All around us we heard clicks, scutters, and branches snapping. I led us slowly and methodically, every step mattered. We didn’t want to alert the creatures, but I was afraid they already knew we were there. I held my Zweihander close. he Soon, engagment was had as a spider slung web at the back of Rodney’s head, looking to have some dinner. Like a pack of wolves but with eight legs, they scattered around us looking to catch one of us off guard. From the back I heard Adil and Kiveck scrambling to fight off creatures attempting to take us from the rear. Wulf kept the torch a lit, our beacon of hope, and began sending arrows every which way to any cretin that dared to come upon our Company. The spider still tugged at the back of Rodney’s head as he struggled to cut the web, it lunged at him and I lifted my sword with a wild strike to catch it in the air, it was naught as the Spider landed on the back of his head, covering the entire back and began to bite into it. I stabbed into it, but Rodney had sustained injury. The rest of the expeditionary had taken out the spider ambush with ease. The line had held, but still, Rodney’s wound needed aid. We stuck to the outskirts of Hallowglade, finding a small mountainside creek. Rodney washed his wound, a large bite on the back of his head bleeding. I scolded the party for not wearing a helmet like myself, it should be mandatory when going on missions. Except for when killing Vodniks, they don’t do **** to your head. Resting for only a short moment, we continued on. Though the clicks within the trees were still prevalent, we continued wading through the woods, single file. Our formation continued on, one after the other until all of us froze. A sound unlike any other heard in Hallowglade, it was big. Far too large to be one of those head sized spiders from earlier, no. This one was the one we were after. The target, the momma spider. As little Luchino would say, it was the big Nonna of all the little spiderlings and spiders. We could hear it, it was far larger than any other. I took note of this, telling Rodney of what Temp Therist said, that no one had lived to see such things. We were going to be the ones to do such, I would make sure of it. Darkness covered the region, the night had fallen. We had to act quick, else wise we were sitting ducks for any spideys looking to climb up and poison us. The plan was as follows, I stationed our two archers (Wulf and Kiveck) a distance apart, each under a tree about a ten to fifteen meter spread. I had James guard Kiveck, and Rodney guard Wulf. Adil scaled a tree equal distance between the two archers, and myself wielded an arbalest. The operation was to be smooth, like surgery. The nonna spider queen was to charge one of the archer encampments, Adil was to leap onto its back and stab into it, and I was to put bolts into that thing. Everyone was put into position, and we waited. The Nonna spider struck quick, it stormed at Kiveck once he was in her eight eyes. I quickly began to load the arbalest, and only hoped Adil knew when to strike… And that he did. He leapt from the top of the tree, landing on the back of the queen and staying on. She seemed to try and get him off, but that clingy Qalasheen kept steadfast. Kiveck began to launch arrows at the cretin, as James defended him with finesse. I shouted out for Wulf and Rodney, they began to maneuver their way towards the fight. I finished loading an arbalest, and began unloading on the creature one at a time. One bolt flew into it’s side, and I saw Adil stabbing down upon it with his arming sword. James slashed at the creature, but it’s exoskeleton was strong. As I shot it, it set it’s many many eyes upon me. I beckoned the creature forward, it could not go one on one with the Master race of a Vander, it was merely a spider. A bug to squash beneath my boot. I spit, and it leapt at me. I swung my zweihander forward to puncture into her abdomen. She pressed forward, pushing me to the ground but I twisted my sword deeper into her. I could hear shouting, and the creature lifted her leg and went to crush my skull. My helmet protected me, but the nose guard sunk into my flesh, ripping it open. A flaming arrow shot across my vision, sinking into the beast’s eye. It was chaos, I loved every bit of it. Adil stabbed into its back from what I heard afterwards, mounting it like a horse the entire time. The mother was getting swarmed by us, a taste of her own medicine but this time, I was Nonna spider. The Nonna flung Adil off into Rodney, and made off in an eight legged sprint. Spiderlings were summoned from the trees, surrounding James, Rodney, Kiveck, and Adil. Myself and Wulf made off for the nonna, and I shouted for them to just go, the spiderlings wouldn’t do a thing. But alas, they were stuck. Adil managed to fry every spiderling with blaze powder, and we met at the impromptu rendezvous, which just so happened to be my booming voice in the woods. We continued to tail the queen, evading spiderlings and branches. She even was so clever to try and throw down a tree in our path, which we just went around. Rodney threw his axes, Kiveck and Wulf launched their arrows, I kept on her tail no matter what. I could even see Adil’s sword still stuck in her back, something he was not happy of. Wulf ended up pulling a jar of oil from his back, and launching it at the fleeing queen, covering her in it. A path of oil was made as she ran. She eventually let out several clicks, and her call to arms was met by spiders and spiderlings. They came from where we were running from, and Wulf lit the trail of oil, and in a burst of flame, we had roasted spiders everywhere. The forest was a bonfire, and now it was a race to catch our kill, and to evade the flames. We continued our chase, a single spider landing on my head and tripping me, but Adil got me balanced and we continued on. The queen was bleeding, she couldn’t last long. We had neared a clearing, where several more spiders launched out. One went for Wulf and yanked out his bow from his hands, another went for Rodney which he made short work of. James added support, generally being the man to help everywhere and every way. More of the miniature spiderlings swarmed our ankles, but I ordered for our party to not give them any notice, and to squash them like the bugs they were. To charge onwards, and finish off the creatures. With determination and our prize in our sights, glory surrounded us as we made our way to the final stop. The queen halted, turning to face her fate in the eyes. She lashed out, spitting web into my eyes! I couldn’t see, but Adil was by my side. Kiveck, James, and Wulf flanked her, launched arrows and bolts into her backside. She spit again, most likely at my Qalasheen ally, but I did not hear him scream, only a thud into the grass. I ripped the webs from my eyes, and saw her dive down to try and assault Adil on his head! Adil rolled out of the way, and I jumped up, and atomic leg dropped her upon the head, crushing her neck into an ichor goop, but her head was still intact. We were victorious, we were lucky. I ripped the head of the beast off with several twists, but something wasn’t right. There was a large amount of shuffling in the trees, we had killed the mother. Soon, we saw all of them. The entire population of spiders began to descend to fight till their last stand against us. We turned tail and ran, our mission was over! A success. But we were being followed, we ran out of Hallowglade, all across Khalestine to Al Wakrah just in time for some wedding, but we were afraid the spideys would follow. They did not, and we returned to Ard Ghorrock, delivering the Vandalore our prize. Statistics: Target- Slain. Friendly Casualties- None. Injury- Two (Rodney’s head and Decimus’ nose) Enemy Casualties- Way too many. Reported by: Decimus Bulg the ‘Kingfish’, Vandalores Champion Field Commander 41st Bug Squashing Brigade Transcribed by: Adil the ‘Eagle-Eyed’ Vander Council Member Second in Command 41st Bugsquashing Brigade