Manuel would sit at his desk flicking through his correspondence when he would pick up the letter from Erin, he would begin to scan it quickly before the context of the letter fell into place in his mind at which point he would slowly place it upon his desk and lean back in his chair, his eyes looking upon the letter but not seeing it.
He had known she was ill of course but had not realized her health had declined so much, he should have made more of an effort to go and speak with her, maybe even to care for her, he thought before brushing it aside as foolishness, Erin had married after all, it was not his place, even thinking such thoughts seemed disrespectful to the life she had built with her husband.
However, it was this life that pained him so, she had children, a home, a marriage, a career, if only all those years ago he had had something to offer her, if only his cousin had not intervened, might things have been different now he wondered.
He remembered their first meeting in the streets of Alexandria when he had just begun his career in the clergy, and later their conversation in the church when he was but a stumbling, stammering fool in her presence but mostly he recalled a dinner party and the sudden rush of sadness and anger that always accompanied this memory drew him harshly back into his office. With a heavy sigh he pulled a key from his coat pocket and placed it in the bottom drawer of his desk, with a gentle click it opened and he folded the letter placing it beside a delicately pressed bouquet of lilac, red and white flowers, he gave this a painful glance, not for the first time, and locked the drawer of memories once more.