Hearth

A Pious Halfling King cackled at the declaration of the unknowing puppet of Iblees. "Ten' march 'pon our good Shire, dearest Callahan, let GOD, th' Great Farmer Billybob decoide the righteous." And with that, Cyris put his Aurum shovel to the grindstone.

"Well 'tat were ah load o' bullshite, wunnit?" A rather disappointed Halfling King mused at the news of Numendil's march against the Shire's allies- and the active support of those invading the very same peaceful wee-folk the Númenaranyë had vowed to protect. "Oi 'tought th' Oath o' ah Tar were supposed tae beh sacred 'er sumfin, specialleh tae t' Númenites."

The Weefolk Stand Tall In The Eternal Fight Against Darkness Transcribed with Crayon PREFACE For long have the Wee-Folk known peace under the watchful eyes of the Knights of Knox, it is now we are called to battle against the forces of evil, following revelations granted to us by the Aengul Zaqiel of the EVIL forces hiding among our friends, the Lurinites- with Sharpened Shovels and the Might of the Pumpkin Lord we shall purge the Serene State of Evil, we call upon the most noble Church of Canon and our Darkspawn hating grumpy neighbours to the South to aid us in this Quest. It is by our unity that darkness shall be purged from these most sacred lands that descendant kind call home. THE DECLARATION OF WAR ON THE DARKSPAWN DWELLING WITHIN LURIN'S WALLS. SHOULD THE CONDITIONS LISTED NOT BE MET BY THE END OF THE NEW PUMPKIN YEAR The Knights of Knox shall be granted the title of 'Protectors of Lurin' and shall be permitted to search each and every corner of the City to purge it of darkspawn, with or without the help of those called upon to aid us in this most holy crusade. Lurin shall trade the tile they have settled within the Cherry-Blossoms for that which Dunwen holds in the Floodplains so that each realm may have consistent scenery, thus increasing the land value of properties within our great nations. A Cathedral befitting the almighty GOD, Billybob shall be erected in place of the Vassal of Barnsley, where those of the Canon and Halfling sects of the Church may worship unhindered by any of the Lurinite people. Lurin shall change the blue hues in it's banner to a slightly lighter one so that it is less expensive to mass produce due to the availabilities of dyes. RETURN WITH THESE DEMANDS BY THE DAWN OF THE NEXT YEAR (2PM EST SUNDAY 22/11 2024 OR FACE THE UNRELENTING HOLY MIGHT OF KNOX'S STRONGEST SOLDIERS) Signed - His Majesty King Cyris Collingwood of the Square Table, Leader of the Knights of Knox.

To the Orcs of the Khanate -=+=- -=+=- In response to recent events- the assumed slaughter of our Thain and my bitch ex-wife- Magnolia Collingwood, at the peace-talks of which she was promised safe passage to in order to discuss the purging of the supposed darkspawn in our lands- the lack of a response to the peace treaty sent to the Khanate in which our Shaman presence would be increased to aid in the excursion of the aforementioned darkspawn that the Khan had claimed to be dwelling within our lands- and the kidnapping of halfling children painted to be dark mages- ah crime a child’s soul is incapable of performing; We the Weefolk now send to the Orcs of the Khanate our demands, should they fail to be met, they shall face a most embarrassing defeat at the hands of the Shire-fyrd and those that have sworn to protect our peace-loving, neutral Shiredom, they are as follows: The Khanate shall put aside this childlike, unoriginal reform and return to its historical and well-regarded title of Krugmar, to distance themselves from this unwarranted grievance against their historical allies and friends. The Elders of the Rexdom shall call a tournament amongst their own in order for a strong, honourable and incorruptible son of Krug to take the place of the word twisting elf-lover that currently sits at the helm of Orc-kind. An outpost for the Shaman-Lodge is to be constructed on the location of the Vikelan camp so that any darkspawn that may appear to terrorize our people can be purged with ease- and that communication between our peoples may be swifter. Any Vikelan accused of being darkspawn that is found on or off of the lands of Krugmar by any that bear the Rex’s banner is to face a fair and spirit-respecting trial at the hands of the Shaman-Lodge in which they are tested for the accusations put against them. The to-be Rexdom of Krugmar is to vow to never involve the Weefolk in their warpaths ever again, at the threat of dishonouring themselves- and is to scowl in the faces of others that would do the same to us. Upon the selection of a new, respectable Rex, a grand feast is to be held to both repair broken friendships caused by this pointless conflict- and to mourn those that it has taken. Any elf that did not hold the title of honourary prior to the selection of the current Rex is to be exiled from the Rexdom to seek refuge elsewhere, where they shan’t whisper ill lies in the ears of Lurak’s successor, whomever they shall be. The Men of Lorraine that have been terrorizing the halflings at the order of the Khan, kidnapping the innocent, slaughtering children- and robbing those simply minding their own business shall henceforth be banished from the lands of Krugmar until they seek penance for their actions before the eyes of Billybob and those they have wronged. Should the Men of Lorraine appear within the Shire with the intent of causing grief to the peace-loving Weefolk, they are to be hunted to the ends of Aevos by the honourable Orcs of Krugmar. The birch-forest land unlawfully claimed by the Orcs within the claim of Silasia is to be returned to those who had declared ownership prior to it’s settlement. Fulfilment of these demands shall unquestionably restore the friendship between our peoples, and any questions of the honour of those that call Krugmar home. We sincerely hope those among the Rexdom that still value the old ways, and still hold a sense of honour shall take these demands and ensure that they are acted upon. And to the Khan- if you dare march upon the lands of the Halflings, a defenseless and pacifistic people- the world shall see you as we now do- an honourless, warmongering, cowardly tyrant who would rather prop up his Human and Elf companions rather than enacting the will of the Spirits; And those that march with you shall find naught but a shovel shaped dent in their noggins. Yours, now and forever- King King Cyris James Collingwood the first, the second, Friend to the Lurs, the Ungris and to those among the Rexdom with an ounce of honour to their name.

"Tat' is just ah child, yeh gobshites." A rather tired Halfling King corrected.

The King of the Wee cracked his knuckles at the word of his bitch ex-wife's assumed slaughter at the hands of the grace-fallen Rexdom. "'Tem bastards d'nae know what's comin 'tere way- when ‘tem Orcs come at meh, Et'll take 10,000, 100,000 o’ ‘tem tae take meh do’on. So tha's how miniscule ye’ are tae meh soize, right. Meh stature o’ intelligence, character n’ body an er-..., Reverence in ‘tis realm. Nae man, ‘cause Oi’m gonnae do backflips, flourishin’, evereh’ting all t’ shoite, trenches, what’eer t’ fock trebuchets are, Ye’ dennae understan’ tat’ ye’re talking tae loike- a Blundermore o’ moi time, roigh’?. Loike oi’m a genius, Dragur level, Historeh book makeah. Ye’re gonnae be forgotten loike the dust in t’ sand when yer in th’ fecken Krug desert, an’ ‘’tere's an ‘undred million thousan’ billion sand grains, ye’re gonnae be one o’ ‘tose, and oi’m gonnae be ah statue erected in pure fecken aurum." And with that his shovel was thusly sharpened for use.

Your Dear Leader Speaks! "Good evening. Today, our fellow citizens, our way of life, and our very freedom come under attack in a series of deliberate and bad faith Orcish threats. Those demanded from us were in Vikela, before its fall; Butchers, Bakers, Candlestick Makers, Elves and Men; moms and dads, friends and neighbours. Thousands of descendants were suddenly displaced by evil, despicable acts of terror, others were slain where they stood. These acts of murder were intended to frighten the Eastern Alliance into chaos and retreat. But they have failed; our Union is strong. A great Alliance has been moved to defend a great people. These baseless threats may strike fear into the peace-loving Weefolk amongst us, but they cannot touch the foundation of Dúnwen. These brutes may have caused Vikela's walls to crumble, but they cannot dent the fine bluesteel that is the Halfling resolve. Dúnwen was targeted for attack because we're the brightest beacon for freedom and opportunity in the world, because we granted asylum to those who desperately needed it. And no one will keep that light from shining. Today, the East sees this evil for what it is, as the worst of Orcish nature. And we responded with the best of Dúnwen -- with the hospitality and kindness of the halflings. Our priority is to protect those who have been displaced and to take every precaution to protect our citizens at home and around the continent from further attacks. The functions of our Shiredom continue without interruption. Our Sheriff patrols day and night for the first sign of raiders. Our barns remain prosperous, and the Halfling economy will be open for business, as well. Dúnwen and her friends and allies join with all those who want peace and security in the world, and we stand together to win the war against Krugmar. Tonight, I ask for your prayers for all those who grieve, for the children whose worlds have been shattered, and for all whose sense of safety and security has been threatened. And I pray they will be comforted by a power greater than any of us, the benevolent embrace of Knox. This is a day when all peoples of the East from every walk of life unite in our resolve for justice and peace. Halfling kind has stood down enemies before, and we will do so this time. None of us will ever forget this day. Yet, we go forward to defend freedom and all that is good and just in our world." Thank you. Good night, and Knox bless Dúnwen.