The Daily Dunshire, Issue 1

[NotEvilAtAll 10906]

 

[!] Some papers are floating about in the wind and nailed to Noticeboards, including but not limited to Dunshire's Noticeboard

 

The Daily Dunshire!

~Circa The Deep Cold 1659~

~Dunshire as seen by the eagles~

Lo' all! And welcome to the first ever "The Daily Dunshire" newspaper!

In today's issue:

~The Drunken Duck under new ownership!

~Award-winning burrow lies vacant!

~Those dreaded rats are gone!

~The new Sheriff and Deputy of Dunshire!

~Global Assembly meeting to be held in Dunshire one day!

 

The Drunken Duck under new ownership!

 

Big Bess II is the new barmaid and owner of the Drunken Duck Inn. Despite being a cow, she pours the best cider in all the shire, and doesn't permit any nonsense occurring in her tavern

Legend has it that she is a shire thoroughbred cow, believed to be descended from Big Bess herself, the original cow barmaid of the halflings!

 

Award-winning burrow lies vacant!

Ever since Nodian left the village of Dunshire (Much to our collective dismay!), his burrow has been vacant and ready for any halfling to move into! Contact Madeline Applefoot (The Deputy) or Betha (The Sheriff) if you wish to live in this high quality housing!

 

Those dreaded rats are gone!

Ever since the rats were fought off by the fearless adventurers who had to brave through many scratches and bites in order to survive, Dunshire's harvest has been booming! With no rats to feast on our poor crops, we may once again feast and drink merrily without the thoughts of a dreaded food shortage to hold us back! (Even if these shortages barely touched our supply of whiskey!)

 

The new Sheriff and Deputy of Dunshire!

The new Sheriff is: Betha ((EternalSaturn))

The new Deputy is: Madeline Applefoot ((jumperhand3))

Long live Dunshire's democracy!

 

Global Assembly meeting to be held in Dunshire one day!

~Dunshire, a village that joined the Global Assembly before it was hip and cool, as seen on the current Global Assembly membership map~

 

Due to our very generous donations to the Global Assembly, and our neutral state in the current wars and all this weird biggun politics stuff, a Global Assembly meeting will be held at Dunshire sometime soon. We do not know when, and I couldn't tell you any better than the next guy, but get prepared for all the hungry, thirsty bigguns that will come to Dunshire because of this meeting. Remember: The last time a halfling forgot to prepare at least 7 cakes for their guests, they were given a time out! You don't want a time out, do you?

~The preparations~

Thus concludes this newspaper, G'day all! And may Lord Knox bless ye!

-Madeline Applefoot, Deputy of Dunshire

[!] The paper would end with the new and improved Dunshire Crest that looks very similar to the old one, perhaps even identical. 

 

[Monkee 7369]

"This newspaper is trash," comments newspaper connoisseur Aelthir Tundrak II.

[NotEvilAtAll 10906]

8 hours ago, Aeldrin said:

"This newspaper is trash," comments newspaper connoisseur Aelthir Tundrak II.

0

Upvote

“You’re trash” responds the writer of this newspaper, Madeline Applefoot 

[Guest]

Moved to The Great Library. It shall be sorted into the appropriate category shortly.

 

If you feel this is a mistake, please contact myself or any FM and we'll restore it.