Roast Thread

[winterblood 11181]

Hello, fellow gamers, and @Fury_Fire

 

Roast the person above you, don’t break the rules or go to far.  have fun, this isn’t serious, just playful banter and teasing.  If you can’t handle these beans, go find another farmer.

 

I’ll go first.  @Fury_Fire you are a parrot-loving, duck-billed, whale-fart; a mumbling, clam-tongued, anchor-head; a pin-headed, yellow-bellied, piece of filth.

Your boy Elyon in D&D is an emo in a party of preps and jocks

 

let’s also not forget this

Spoiler

 

[BonesOfTheEarth 2252]

Is this how it’s gonna be? Is this the game you wanna pull?

 

Sorry I don’t speak “I make bland characters so I try and steal the warlocks sugardaddy to be interesting”, coming all the way from fukkin silent hill over there where you live.

 

Little miss ‘I can’t think of anything original so I take my own LOTC character and import them into dnd’

 

You can he he he ho ho ur way right outta here. This is my thread now.

[winterblood 11181]

@Fury_Fire Mister “I rub my hands together loudly as I think up of roasts for the bean fiend unbaed,” my character ain’t interested in your “”god”” that is using your emo boy with a Tragic(tm) Backstory.

 

You seem to have caught onto my act of using my LotC character for DnD... How did you know Aelfrun was Nemir with coal smeared on her face with horns taped to her head?  There goes my surprise for the first session...

 

All right, creeper-magnet, I won’t go too harsh on you since I am, of course, the Alpha Belcher.  You also seem to have a trend in using things from LotC in DnD, you went from having butter hair to butter eyes in DnD.  You a fan of SkyDoesMinecraft?

[BonesOfTheEarth 2252]

Aelfrun? You mean tragic(tm) murdered clan chick you wanna use in MY world? Calling me out on MY thread here? Alright kiddo, sit down and buckle up.

 

I think playing a high elf named Nemir who hasn’t died yet because you’re dating the DM but is super depressed really reminds me of a certain poorly made LOTC character ?

 

Let’s review. Alpha belcher? I’ll concede there, but let’s be real you’re the alpha beta here. Playing a genderless character and lording over your belching powers? A 12 year old genderbender in disguise! Almost like that @Whiplash guy over there.

[winterblood 11181]

“Hey everyone, Furry_Fire back at it at a huge mistake!  Look at this oaf, it’s my Dungeon and Dragons character Elyon!  His god is using him to get a totally better and totally cooler player, but that’s okay, because he has Eldritch Blast!”

 

You mad I haven’t taken damage in the campaign yet?  I guess that’s just because I’m good at avoiding the enemies, unlike your “death angel” screamo character; however, that could be because YOU made my character paranoid after drugging her with your “”god”” in a bar to sell her soul for more Eldritch Blasts.

 

Now you’re trying to pull innocents into this thread?  Come on, buddy, I’m right here!  Quit trying to run away and face your end, you baboon-faced toilet.

[BonesOfTheEarth 2252]

Eldritch blast? Im not some chicken hiding behind my allies because I cant stand to get close.

 

“Oof I’m Nemir! Let me just walk up – Oh I’m already at 0 HP”

 

Yeah, that’s what I thought. I’m not running away. At least, not as much as you when you try and play DND bucko. You can sit down and enjoy your homebrew class, we all know it’s because you can’t comprehend anything else.

[winterblood 11181]

Hey, I’m Fury_Fire, I can’t even hit a book when it is right in front of me.

 

You think my character is weak because she has low hit points?  Son, she crushed your emo Elyon with Maxamillion’s Earthen Grasp and no one even cared enough to stop her from casting.

 

And while your character is too busy getting good beans sent to hell for thirty seconds, mine is patient enough to figure out the situation.  Or was she too paranoid due to Elyon’s endless mistakes with his “”god””?

 

 

[BonesOfTheEarth 2252]

Can’t hit a book? I tore it up for your weak ass. Saved you along with my patron after someone(guess who? You) messed up.

 

Hurrdurr, there’s a big scary guy! Better ask him for a cursed book that I’ll read!!!

 

Nemir the idiot dumb face strikes again.

 

“Hey I’m neemur the idiot. My friends patron saved my ass and guess what I do? Instantly go knock myself into a coma xd”

[Novastral 582]

Jfc this is sad. 

[winterblood 11181]

@Fury_Fire Took you forever to do a task that a mere toddler can do, and you even failed in destroying the book SINCE IT RETURNED.

 

And you’re calling me weak after your “”god”” couldn’t even help you in tearing apart a book? 

 

 

Also, let’s think back again... Whose “”god”” was the one to put my character into a coma?  I’m sure the rest of the party already has that figured out, when they see your pansy, gas-lighted character running away from the situation.

 

And for @Novastral You think the best way to spend your time is to play a purple orc.  Good night, Barney.

[Novastral 582]

Just now, UnBaed said:

And for @Novastral You think the best way to spend your time is to play a purple orc.  Good night, Barney.

 

Now you fucked up.

[winterblood 11181]

Rare photograph of @Novastral

[BonesOfTheEarth 2252]

@UnBaedMy god didn’t help me? Unlike your obscure unknown thing of a patron, mine took the book away HIMSELF. Something tells me he helped you more than your own worthless attempts at having a patron.

 

Where am I? Not running away for sure. I’m out there to save you. You’re like a baby that cant crawl or take care of it yet. And what’s more? I bet you started the Nemlyon rumor. Probably because you’re always holding onto him for help.

 

@Novastral

Barny is a dinosaur from our imaginations.

And when he’s tall

He’s what we call our dinosaur sensation

 

Barney's friends are big and small
They come from lots of places
After school they meet to play
And sing with happy faces

 

Barney shows us lots of things
Like how to play pretend
ABC's, and 123's
And how to be a friend

 

Barney comes to play with us
Whenever we may need him
Barney can be your friend too
If you just make-believe him!

[Slothtastic 761]

@Fury_Fireyoure easy to forget. 

[winterblood 11181]

@Fury_Fire My character doesn’t need a patron to “cling onto” since she’s totally fine on her own, unlike yours.  Having to use your sugardaddy’s tokens to save your life in combat, since you can’t seem to fight properly on your own.

 

You can’t even be a good father.  Killing your adoptive daughters whole village and then losing that child a session later?  10/10, best father of the year.

 

And you wish my character would cling onto yours.  In order to get Nemir to trust your character, your “”god”” had to cast some spell on her to be with you.

 

@Slothtastic Who are you?