The Pumpkin Press Vol 1: News in Brandybrook!

NotEvilAtAll · January 11, 2020

Spoiler

[!] A newspaper is spread across Brandybrook!

The Pumpkin Press

Image result for minecraft pumpkin

~The quality news that the people of Brandybrook DESERVE!~

Table of Contents

~Brandybrook Winter Feast is a massive success!~

~Hearth and Blaze break up!~

~The Spicy Shrimp has been found by Taurin Leafwalker!~

~Anne and Jasper, the cutest couple of Brandybrook?~

~Brandybrook Winter Feast is a massive success!~

~The halflings of Brandybrook + Aegrothond Elves havin’ a wondrous FEAST!~

The glorious Brandybrook Winter Feast planned by the best Thain to ever exist, Micah O’Connell, has been a massive success! Large quantities of cake, pie, cookies, and meat were consumed along with enough booze to choke a horse! Afterwards, a shogging tournament was help by Rosemary, which Taurin Leafwalker was able to win!

Spoiler

However, all was not perfectly well during the Feast. In the middle of the celebration, some no-good Sutican biggun WIZARD??? set the table on fire and caused several other explosions in the distance. The confusion caused by this TERRORIST ATTACK forced the halflings to grip their shovels tightly with righteous fury, planning their PUMPKIN RAID on Sutica for housing such villainous persons. Sadly, the Thain and my daughter didn't agree with the Pumpkin Raid proposed by the others, and the plan fell apart. We will get our revenge on this WIZARD??? on a later date!

~Heath and Blaze break up!~

~Hearth, a Halfling? Dwarf? who has caused nothing but trouble for the people of Brandybrook!~

Hearth, by far the worst wee-folk to have ever existed, has ruined his relationship with Incadence Blazeweilder (commonly known as just “Blaze”). When Blaze asked Hearth to stop ogling other women, he refused. This unfaithful man caused Blaze such stress that she miscarried their second child. As a result of this, the two are no longer a couple. Many halflings and Suticans have warned Blaze about Hearth, telling her that he’s bound to cheat on her. It seems those warnings were correct.

Hearth is the only wee-folk to have ever been SPECIFICALLY BANNED from Brandybrook Drinking Nights due to his horrid nature. There’s no doubt that he will be banned from future Drinking Nights. He corrupts the youth, ruins relationships, and is generally a terrible person. May Knox curse you, Hearth.

~The Spicy Shrimp has been found by Taurin Leafwalker!~

We’ve finally found it! It seems the ship had been relocated somewhere off the coasts of Sutica by unknown agents. Negotiations with Sutican authorities to get the Spicy Shrimp back are ongoing. May Knox bless Taurin Leafwalker for his service to Brandybrook’s navy!

~Anne and Jasper, the cutest couple in Brandybrook?~

~The Sunbrook family burrow!~

Anne and Jasper have been dating for quite some time (or so I’ve been told). They’ve moved into a lovely burrow together, for they plan on creating a lovely family to inhabit it. They now share the same last name, Sunbrook, a combination of their previous last names. However, the question remains, are Anne and Jasper the cutest couple in Brandybrook? I shall let the readers of this newspaper decide.

In order to vote on the poll, send a note with your answer to the Driftwood family mailbox, or send me a bird ((post in comments)) using the following format.

Is Anne + Jasper the cutest halfling couple?
-Yes

-No

Leave a check next to your answer!

Here’s an example of a properly filled out format!

Is Anne + Jasper the cutest halfling couple?

-Yes

-No ✓

Leave a check next to your answer!

That will be all! Long Live Brandybrook! Glory ter t’a wee! (Gosh... I’ve always wanted to write that!)

-Pervinca Driftwood

[!] The newspaper ends with the official seal of Brandybrook

Hearth · January 11, 2020

Hearth peered down to the newspaper, furrowing his brows. ”Didn’ even mention my streak.”

Osoa · January 11, 2020

Is Anne + Jasper the cutest halfling couple?
-Yes

-No ✓

Leave a check next to your answer!

Taurin + Depression is!

Latelle · January 11, 2020

Anne takes off her glasses to read the newspaper.

”’Tis es mos’leh BS, bu’~...”