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Zarsies

SEEKING SUITOR

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Couriers and young hirelings circulate and nail a simple, handwritten paper to numerous local wanted boards and offer it to promising gentlemen.

 

Spinster’s Invitation

Lady Todela, a learned and charming belle with limited means, seeks a human male suitor. 

 

She is: aged 32, Southeron, height under two yards, a seamstress, cobbler, jeweler, cook, and entertainer. Childless, unburdened.

 

She desires a man of: similar age, high mental acuity, class and charm, curiosity, strong resolve, and preferable Southeron blood.

 

Deliver offers to the aviary in Malin’s Rest, Aldemar. Address to Lady Todela.

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Jared Dune licks the greasy residue of his sausage breakfast off of his fingers, rolling out of his bed after he does so. Groaning, the man struggles to lift his immense weight off of the floor, but finally manages to do so after several long moments of trying. After a brief argument with both of his parents, who scold him for not yet finding work at the age of twenty seven, force him out of the house and demand he search for employment. Panting heavily, the man sweats buckets under the hot morning sun as he aimlessly meanders down the roads of his town, too ashamed to lift his head to any of the shops for fear of exposing his puffy and tear-stained face. After twenty minutes, Jared finds himself utterly out of breath, and his knees too begin to tremble from the immense burden they have had to endure- the likes of which they had not done before. As he plops down atop a bench in the middle of the town square, causing the aged boards of the seat to creak and splinter under his weight, the fatigued man lifts his head up to a missive nailed to one of the old wooden lampposts that has yet to be replaced.

 

Jared scowls upon seeing the paper, but his annoyance soon turns into amusement. He lifts his head back and laughs: a horrible, guttural sound that draws attention to him and forces him to look away. Still, despite this mild embarrassment, Jared is far too entertained to dwell on it for long.

 

Too old. Too short. Not rich enough. Probably has a forehead that’s too large. Sounds like she’s too stuck-up about her half-baked wits for her own good. Why would such an undesirable woman even try to seek a match?

Suddenly, a lovely, young girl passes by, her healthy features radiating in the morning light as she skips towards the tavern. A bright smile adorns her features as she laughs along with an equally-impressive young man, purportedly the most strapping man in the village. While the two continue their walk down the bustling town street, various glances towards the two turn into stares, for it is the statuesque who may hold the attention of any onlooker. Jared too joins in; however, his stare is not a look of curiosity or a captive amazement. No. He glares at the young couple, his already-red face turning into a violent crimson. His stubby, meaty fingers ball into fists, but all Jared can do is sit there impotently.

 

How could a girl such as that fall for a man who’s probably just some dumb soldier? I say, all the fine women are shallow, fixating their attention only on the looks of us men. Why will they not give me a chance? Why do they not care about perfectly nice men such as myself, who would be willing to do anything for them?

 

As had happened many times before, Jared returns home empty-handed and without a job. 

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34 minutes ago, Nectorist said:

Snip

 

Spoiler

Did you... Did you seriously write an IRP incel?

 

+1

 

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Spoiler

Duuuuuuude.... @Nectorist i love that rp but-... He's becoming a NICE GUY

 

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