Oyashiman for Dummies [Gaijin]

[tadabug2000 4918]

OYASHIMAN FOR DUMMIES (GAIJIN)

 

Hello, lowly peasant! I would like to begin with my congratulations at your capability to read, I am highly impressed! There are many reasons to have found this book: you may have noticed that even our peasants are happier than the nobility, more graceful, and more serene. Or perhaps you had recognized the inferiority of your culture, and wished to convert to a true society!

 

I digress, today I am to give you a primer regarding the Oyashiman language, particularly with respect to everyday words that you may hear. I must warn you in advance, as someone with such a simple culture such as yourself may have difficulty in comprehending something so advanced. I will do my best to explain the cultural context under which you (as a member of the peasant classes, undoubtedly), would perhaps find yourself in these situations.

 

• San:

  • This should be used mostly in common situations wherein they are referring to one of the same social class or occupation as themself. If they are referring to you as such, they are showing you much more respect than you understand and perhaps deserve.

• Sama:

  • This is used in reference to those of a higher social class than you, who in that circumstance are neither familiar enough nor important enough for an occupational title. You should end everyone’s name with this. And I mean you, reader.

• Dono:

  • This is used to refer to one’s liege lord. These people typically carry at least one sword on them every day (not necessarily, but quite often a katana). They are equivalent to your noblemen, you will never talk to them period. You shall use this for the people who are carrying such a blade.

• Tono:

  • This is to refer to the head of one’s clan, if one serves under another member of their clan. Again, you will never speak to someone in such a manner, as they are far too important for your time. But now you know.

• Chan:

  • Typically used to indicate a young female the speaker is familiar with. You will not be so familiar with our women, you will never use this. Even those children are considered of a higher social class than you. See Sama.

• Kun

  • Chan, but for boys. The same rules apply. Do not be so familiar with our children. See Sama.

• Senpai

  • Used to refer to an individual student within a martial art school or a student of bujutsu (a samurai in training) that is older than you, you should avoid people using this term if they do not appear to be doing either of those things.

• Kohai/kouhai

  • This is a term used to refer to a student within a martial art school or a student of bujutsu (a samurai in training) that is younger than you, you should avoid people using this term if they do not appear to be doing either of those things.

• Sensei:

  • Used to refer to a teacher of some form of martial art. Typically applied to skilled swordsmen, but can also be applied to any trade or craft wherein someone is typically skilled. If the speaker is addressing an individual wherein this does not appear to be the case, avoid the speaker.

 

These are the ones that you, a gaijin, would perhaps hear most commonly on the street. Of course there are many more, however I am sure you are already having difficulty understanding the complexities of the great Oyashiman culture. This is understandable.

 

Next we shall begin with the study of greetings and goodbyes. I shall show you the word, and then explain when it is used:

 

• Ohayou/ohayou-gozaimasu:

  • This is used during the morning as a greeting. You will use the second of the two, always.

• Konnichiwa:

  • This is used before morning but after dark. 

• Konbanwa:

  • This is used after dark, this is not the same as good night.

• Oyasumi/Oyasuminasai:

  • These are the ways you would give your final goodbye to someone. You will always use the latter of the two. It is the most formal. You will use it.

  •  

This concludes the topic of greetings and goodbyes.

 

Now we will begin with units of measurement, as these are what we, as the body of the world, use. As is the superior custom, we will utilize our measurement system, not an inferior gaijin system. It is important to note that only the nobility are the ones with coins, or at least they are the wealthier merchants. As such, it is simple:

 

• Kan:

  • This is the unit of weight of one bag of rice harvested by a villein (or peasant, as you might understand the name). However, it is much more than that. It is a representation of the work that was incurred in the harvesting of that rice. It is a useful bartering tool, as the merchants and smiths will value their labor and efforts through how much rice it would have put on their family’s table. Do not worry about our coin, you should not use it. Use the Kan, gaijin.

• Shaku:

  • It is roughly equivalent to one… I forget the word. It begins with an f. Foot. That is the word. 

 

Do make mental note that there are many, many more systems and words used depending on the context of what is being produced or procured, to include garments, carpentry, and the like. These are all you will be expected to know. Learn them and use them.

 

This concludes Oyashiman For Dummies (Gaijin). If you disagree with me, you admit to being an individual that needed to read this in the first place to understand Oyashiman. This argument does not hold up, I do not care. None of us will care. Please finish your business and be on your way. Thank you.

Spoiler

My amazing friend @FlyingHalfMast had written this a bit back, though due to irl responsibilities, never got a chance to post it! With his permission, this is now posted for those to use and such! He wrote it entirely and I take no credit, for I only intended to get this out there. Boy is utterly amazing.

 

[Reckless Banzai Screamer 15456]

Thank you tada, I can now culturally appropriate to greater lengths when Oijin builds the gundam.

[tadabug2000 4918]

2 minutes ago, Shady Tales said:

Thank you tada, I can now culturally appropriate to greater lengths when Oijin builds the gundam.

I have concerns, boyo but either way, Kav put in a ton of work for this and it needed to be seen!

[Shorsand 2006]

THE SENSEI OF DU LOC, QUENTIN BRAE, SMILES UPON READING THIS HIP AND INFORMATIVE GUIDE ON THE LANGUAGE OF HIS NEIGHBORS IN YONG PING.

"Ohio, Dante-sama!, Oijin-sama!" the Lord beams at the two Lectors of Oyashiman descent, eagerly making use of his newfound linguistic abilities!

[colovian fur 8360]

On 12/24/2021 at 1:00 PM, tadabug2000 said:

• Ohayou/ohayou-gozaimasu:

  • This is used during the morning as a greeting. You will use the second of the two, always.

• Konnichiwa:

  • This is used before morning but after dark. 

• Konbanwa:

  • This is used after dark, this is not the same as good night.

• Oyasumi/Oyasuminasai:

  • These are the ways you would give your final goodbye to someone. You will always use the latter of the two. It is the most formal. You will use it.

 

Gib blinked rapidly as he read this missive, squinting his crimson eyes.

 

"What the ****? You're telling me everytime Oijin said Hai Gib, he wasn't saying hi?"

Angrily, he crumpled that paper, screaming as he banged his head against the wall in a drug induced panic.

 

@Shady Tales