The Confessions of a Sinner

[spicii 1131]

The Confessions of a Sinner

Adeline as a teenager in Providence, c. 1803

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Spoiler

OOC Spoiler: Please do not metagame this information. This is not a PK post. Special thank you to @Quantumaticsfor helping me with some of this.

 

SONDER: The realisation that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited madness. A story that continues invisibly around you like an ant hill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, within which you might only once appear.

 

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Adeline Lorena-Helvets Rochefort sat perched atop her bureau, the rather vigorous wafting of scotch and cigars emitting from the Helveti’s countenance as scattered orbs solemnly locked with a frayed journal. Said journal seemed to copy Adeline’s actions, staring back with such a purposeful aura as if it’s prose sought to dive within the very depths of the Rochefort’s soul. Her visage sinked a little lower, deep rooted agony jolting her body as it shuttered and froze- crushing the Princess with a newfound pain, another abandonment. As the years ticked by, the aged woman let her eyes finally become accustomed to the dull gloom, as though its only tether to her was its familiarity. Within this catacomb the Rochefort manifested the burning sensation that had long plagued her mind, the rediscovery forged within the mourning of her husband and various wrongdoings of her existence. 

The enfeebled woman clung to the tenements of hope as though the straw upon a rampart, some lingering hope a residue of a bygone time, where dreams might have inspired joy. Within this state of actualized revival did she spin a new being, a betterness she thought entirely unbefitting, but deeply desired. Though that spindle proved a sullen string, and that dream faded as swiftly as it had arrived, lost within the emaciated soul lingering within the lamenting woman. It was and always had been uncertainty that provided the most wistful comfort.

 

An extended hand hesitantly began to reach for the journal upon the tabletop, assuming position in the grasps of the Rochefort’s wearied fingers. The pinnacles of her brows began to furrow, developing an unyielding line across the top of her forehead as Adeline began to erratically flip through the pages of the parchment.

 

The journal detailed a certain array of encounters between Lady Selvia de Orsella - former governess of the Savoy palace and Princess Adeline Lorena Helvets-Rochefort herself. This sin had to be the most profound of all - the act of adultery and lying with another woman. Many different rendezvous happened to be written within the pages of the journal - whether they be negative or positive.

 

To my dearest journal, 

 

I had taken a certain ‘liking’ to this Selvia woman, one I was rather uncertain of. It all commenced when Selvia de Orsella had been promoted to governess of the palace - a position in which I was working rather closely with Lady Orsella.

 

“I am so very much overjoyed to hear about your recent promotion to governess of the palace.” The Princess of Savoy began to conversate with said woman, corners of her mouth upturning to form a widened smile upon Adeline’s features.

 

“You’re too kind.” A chuckle escaped from within Selvia at that, orbs peering up at the Rochefort. “I am looking forward to being able to work most closely with you the most. You are a compassionate kind of company to have.”

 

“You flatter me Selvia.” The Helveti began to giggle in a rather nervous manner, soft tone lowering as an outstretched arm moved to offer the de Orsella a lone cigarette. “I am sure we will be working more closely as of recently, due to your new position in the palace and such…”

 

 We conscripted many social events together and spent hours in my office which was located within the Savoy palace, happening to be directly below my husband's own bed chambers. Within my limited virtuous morals, it was never in my intentions to engage in certain activities with the governess. Alas, this certainly was not the case as the days grew tedious and weary.

 

Selvia de Orsella gently placed a hand upon the top of Adeline’s forearm, eyes peering up at the Princess. “I am not fond of the idea of marriage. I am not rushing at all, in fact I would love to keep my last name as long as time allows me.” 

 

“Is that so?” A sarcastic chuckle escaped from within the Rochefort, matching Selvia’s expression then. The potent waft of alcoholic beverages and sheer cigar smoke emitted from the Helveti. “To me it seems as if you are rushing.” 

 

“I oppose the idea of marriage… With a man that is.” A nervous nod effused from the Lady, her gaze kept rather firmly. “I have been rushed by my mother in the past, though I would certainly like to remain a spinster for as long as possible.”

 

“I am not complaining…” 

 

 I had known my actions were dishonourable from the start, that I should have sent the de Orsella far away from the lands of Savoy and blamed said matter on something harmless. Though it was something strange about the feeling of doing wrong that filled me with a certain ebullience I had not experienced for the most prolonged time, that had made my guilty conscience continue to sin. In many instances, Lady Selvia de Orsella and I engaged in said activities when my husband Olivier was off on business meetings within his many vassals across the principality.

Orsella resigned one benumbled morning - her moral compass only being able to guide the Lady so far. The two of us swore upon one another to never inform a soul about our affair - and soon after parted ways for what seemed to be the last time. 

GOD has watched over every one of my sins during the course of my lifetime, and with every bone in my weakened body do I pray he does not look away as I confess for my wrongdoings and finds it within himself to forgive me. 

 

SIGNED, 

HER HIGHNESS, Adeline Lorena Helvets-Rochefort
 

Once again dearest journal,

 

My hands which happen to hold the key to all my wrongdoings seem to be finding their way once more unto the parchment of this journal more often than I had hoped. The relationships between my beloved children have become rather estranged during recent years. Throughout the progression of my being, I manufactured an array of different errors within the labour of raising children. Much like my own parents nature, it seems as if my being has become one with them, inheriting the heinous, coarse unavailability and apathy of the Rochefort family. I sinned by not carrying out my only duty - raising my children into an affectionate and sheltered environment. Not a single day goes by where my brain does not wander to the possibility of the outcome if I had provided such for all seven of my spawn. A certain incident is engraved within my mind, between two of my sons - Leufroy Renault and Olivier II, Prince of Savoy. I found Leufroy in an aggravated state, curiosity kicking in my veins.

 

“What is the meaning of this?” An eyebrow raised as the Rochefort pivoted upon her heel, eyes peering within Leufory’s own.

“My time to rule, mother.” He states, extending an arm to grasp at his helmet. “I must help Edmond.” Leufory exclaims, placing on his helmet and withdrawing his blade. 

 

This comment had left me in a vigorous sense of shock, body frozen into one singular spot as I attempted to grasp upon what exactly my son’s intentions were. A rash decision was made as the seconds ticked by, my countenance deciding to follow Leufroy into the room of Lady Chancellor, Vasileia Ekaterini. I should have stopped myself within these moments and alerted someone higher up, though it was the choice between choosing between sons. This proved rather difficult in a situation as such, so I decided to see if I could mediate. 

 

“Saying such does not will it to exist, if you want my support I need to know what your plan is. Your vision. I am sure the Prince can also speak for himself.” 

 

“Hmph. It seems you are a dead woman.” 

 

Within these swift movements, I decided it was within my best interest to leave all three subjects to their own and flea to Providence. I had no interest in being the face of a coup against my own son, nor did I want to be pulling the strings against Leufroy. Unknown to me then, it would be the last time I set foot within the lands of Savoy and certainly the last time the relationship with my sons ran steadily.

 

SIGNED, 

HER HIGHNESS, Adeline Lorena Helvets-Rochefort

[Axelu 4333]

The Princess of Savoy looks to The Lady Chancellor, wistfully and with unspoken hunger behind her eyes... @Cepheid

 

Spoiler

beautiful post spicii, well done <3

 

[Tigergiri 3073]

Spoiler

 

 

[Kiiwi 1440]

Selvia de Orsella slowly sips wine from the secret location of which she stayed. The woman still looking to be ever so youthful despite those around her growing old.

 

She looked up from where she sat, and glanced to the woman who laid in her bed fast asleep. She let out a small yawn before standing up and going on a night stroll. She hated the sun.

 

Spoiler

AAA I didnt know you were writing this but I love it!! Such a wonderfully written post Spicii <3