I think the decision to leave was a long time coming, and in the melodramatic fashion pertinent to a theater kid, I’ve decided to write a post on it. Regardless, I think several people I don’t talk to often anymore might desire closure immortalized (for however long this server lasts) on the forums.
Having joined this server sometime in mid 2018, I can safely say it’s been a wild ride since. I was younger and consequently less experienced. The allure of the server had been on my mind for a while: I first joined the forums two years before, I believe, though I’d simply forgotten about it until then. In a considerably difficult time of my life, I stumbled upon the world of Atlas, a fantastical land with the capability to be the medium I desired to evade my problems and reality. So, I joined, having long engaged in fervent yearning to have lived in a different time – one comprised of kings, chivalrous knights, and feudal disputes (I whole-heartedly understand this is a weird notion for a kid to desire). Since then, I’ve met a plethora of great people, some questionable ones, and some I don’t particularly care about, as I’ve never talked to them beyond polite interactions, though they still hold a place in my heart regardless.
I first logged onto this server as a mundane Santegian as the royal city was on its last legs, and eventually found my way to Hanseti-Ruska by chance. There, I was introduced to a collective of Wicks – some of which I still talk to today. I stayed in Haense out of love for their playerbase; there are few groups as tightknit as this one, I had found. Because of this, I always felt a few paces behind, but nevertheless, that sensation never inhibited my fondness for it. After playing a Ruthern, having joined the ranks of a group of lovely people with diligence and a outstanding vision, and thereafter a Barbanov Princess, I found myself in line to play a prospective Queen. Prior to this, I had joined Renatian ranks and played two of their Horenic Princesses and made friends from a different sphere entirely – a choice of mine which spurred some debate amongst the Haeseni privy, who had long-enduring tensions with some of them. Even presently, I believe that ooc friendships should remain ooc friendships, and too, that they can exist beyond the realm of LOTC politics; one can be honorable and loyal while having friends elsewhere. After all, this is only a game, and some people forget them. I’m the first to admit that I’ve been sucked up in this world and let it guide me. It’s been in those moments that I’ve realized it can be an incredibly unhealthy environment. There’s an entire world that exists outside of it – one that will last beyond the inevitable day that this server’s tenure of existence will come to a close. Anyhow, I’ve digressed: playing a Queen was certainly memorable. I established a court, participated in court intrigues, and got to live out my fantasies of playing a consort with some kind and thoughtful people. Simultaneously, I discovered that some of my friends had dark sides to them, their well-concealed, vulpine prowesses at manipulation and honeying their words having been lost to me. I also discovered I had a similar inclination to do so and I was perfectly okay with it, as in earnest, it’s just part of the job – to keep people blissfully ignorant of their surroundings. One thing they don’t tell you of stepping into an overglorified, and fleeting, position of power on mineman is how eyes will be on you always. Any decision you make, however well-intentioned, will be subject to ruthless criticism. I’ve thoroughly been an impulsive person, since my tenure as Milena Ekaterina. Small sentiments of mine, be they benevolent, or even spiteful, snowballed briskly, prompting me to make ill-advised decisions. Most of the time, these decisions – while brazen – led to good and appreciated outcomes. Occasionally, they weren’t, and oftentimes, they were spurred by people I thought had my wellbeing in mind. After much anguish, and after several conversations with a friend, I’ve come to realize mistakes are okay, especially on a minecraft server where you, or your efforts, will not be remembered in several years time. Let yourself grow, however you desire. As a nondescript Australian, apparently now pink-haired, girl told me: “If you aren’t having fun, then it’s not worth it.” A veritable truth, so ty dummy.
I’ve known you since I joined, apparently, though we’ve only been close for the past year, and some. Regardless, you’ve been an exemplar friend and I’m so lucky to have you. Here’s to all the facetime calls we’ve had, and will have. ilu.
Through thick and thin, you’ve been there, and I’ve been there for you, and will lovingly continue to do so. Since you don’t play anymore, and we still talk, there’s not much to say except i hate u fatty (much love).
Literally being one of the coolest girls ever, thank you for all the fun moments and deep talks. You’ve been like a big sister, and for that, I’m ever grateful.
Thank you for being there for me, old man. You were, and I still consider you to be, like an older sibling – a sage guide to the toils of life, always with a reassurance to offer.
To @JoelTheGinger and @Dasdi
Now, we’ve all three quarreled, and have been subject to petty squabbles. Nevertheless, the former of you two took me under your wing and inspired me, initially. The latter of you two, always a steadfast friend and quite literally a neighbor.
To @Eryane and @Zaerie
My two Haeseni gals – thank you for your kindness and your love. Both of you share my love of theater tunes, and broadway in general, alongside my admiration for my Haeseni community. I’m sorry to leave at the height of our plans to aid the restoration of the city, and the courts, but I’m wholy confident in your abilities to succeed without me, as you have. You’re both incredibly gifted, and so, deserve at least that much.
Thank you for taking a chance with me and truly trusting in my potential, and in me. I hope that trust wasn’t in vain. Keeping skating, mop-head.
As my former son, I’ve got to admire you. I think that’s my job... All jokes aside, thank you for being as sympathetic and driven by curiosity as you are. Strive high, as you’ve always done, and I’m sure you’ll get places.
To @Pureimp10, @Piov, and @NJBB
Clearly, we’ve quarreled and butted heads in the past. Nevertheless, I admire you all fully and desire you to succeed in all your ventures in the future and as you continue in your adult life. May you make the best of smoothies (looking at u, NJPP).
I don’t know how you’re as smart as you are, but you are. Maybe it’s an effect of age, and experience, but I still envy it. Thank you for the advice, and even just for allowing me to rant. Hope you get to chill and keep doing what you enjoy, man.
My Renatian, and now Sutican, king! Thank you for supporting me and being an overall good guy. I wish people didn’t give you **** for just doing your ****
I’m joining you in the retirement home, Aids. See u there
You’re pretty cool! Keep in touch, or whatever 😎
Thanks for being a cool guy and allowing me to do my thing w the courts n stuff. I appreciate it. Keep vibing and drinking that beer
Thank you for being a loyal friend and enduring my rants about celebrities' degree of attractiveness, alongside the occasional tik tok I’d send you.
You’ve got great things coming at you, I’m sure. You’re fun, driven, and entirely capable. Thank u for all the talks, and don’t think I’ve forgotten your offer about taking me clubbing once I return to Europe – I’m holding you to it.
My literal child, and four years long friend – I’m so excited to see your growth in art and in your creative and intellectual pursuits. You’re the sweetest and I love you the mostest.
To Erik mfing Azog (idk your @ man srry..)
Sorry to leave amidst playing yo wife. We had plans to better the d’arkent family, and overall, have fun with it. You’ll be fine though, and since you’re cool, I only wish you the best.
To the Haeseni and Orenian community
Thank you for lasting, and enduring, memories and impeccably enjoyable characters. Despite my falterings and mistakes in the past, you still embraced me with open arms so continue thriving.
If you’re not mentioned, or if you feel your respective memo was too short, don’t be offended. I’ve either said what I’d like to say to you, you’re a banned player, or you have my contact info. Otherwise, most of you are pretty cool and deserve recognition so consider this a blanket statement of appreciation for the rest of you. Relax, im not dying or some ****.
Rest In Peace