ETIKET I VE KORT | Social Gatherings, Courtly Manners, and Dining

[The Esrova Court 1477]

ETIKET I VE KORT

SOCIAL GATHERINGS, COURTLY MANNERS, AND DINING

 

 

UKEN VE KRAWN I ROZZ

 

Issued by the

QUEEN’S COUNCIL

On the 4th day of Msitza ag Dargund of 427 ES

 

---

 

VA BIRODEO HERZENAV AG EDLERVIK

 

Long has the realm sought to clearly define the proper etiquette to be instituted within the realm, which has since been resumed in the transitory years of Queen Amadea of Susa, and the beginning of her reign. Her focus has been devoted to refining the behaviour of her subjects with her own insight, and works of previous Grand Ladies, of which these sets of guidelines shall serve to strengthen the ever-growing cultural identity of the Haeseni people and what is expected of the nobles among them. Those who do not abide by these rules of etiquette put themselves at risk of great loss, for now activities that may strip one of their honour have been put to parchment. 

 

---

 

SOCIAL GATHERINGS

 

For both the host and the guest, social functions serve as a proving ground for one’s etiquette. Both must be courteous, both must be punctual, and both must interact with one another accordingly. Above all, the guest must take care not to be disruptive. They are to learn the intricacies of conversation, as to begin and end conversations with tact and modesty. The host must be well versed in their obligations as well; for a host to flaunt what is customarily expected of them, is for them to spite those in attendance and the administrators of times past.  

 

EXPECTATIONS OF A BALL

 

I. It is expected that the host sends invitations to guests not less than two Saint’s Days beforehand, lest they not provide ample time to prepare, which may be seen as an insult. This may not be the case for more casual gatherings which none are particularly compelled to attend. For events such as these, a simple public invitation at any point prior to the festivities themselves shall suffice.

 

II. Once a guest enters the scene of a social affair, it is common to greet, thank, and briefly compliment the host of said occasion before introducing oneself to different circles and partaking in entertainment.

 

III. A particularly chivalrous lord may assign himself as cavalier, or escort, to an unspoken-for lady for the duration of a gathering. As the lord accompanying the lady, he must ensure that all partners with whom she dances and engages in conversation with are agreeable. He must as well ensure that she might find refreshments and seating whenever she wishes. His duty remains unfinished until the lady has been returned to her home safely. In return for his service, any maiden worth the trouble will afford him the first, and most often last dance of the ball; for the final dance holds the most weight in the affair, as it is most often when a pair becomes infatuated with one another.

 

IV. To continuously seek the attention of a lady that is not in one's care as a cavalier, or for a lady, to seek a man relentlessly while placed under the care of another, is to expose one's partiality to said person.

 

V. It is of the utmost importance that a well-mannered lord keep note of the wall-flowers of the evening and devote thought to them, as opposed to the belles who have already been graced with beauty and many suitors. As for ladies, it is gracious to avoid entertaining a great number of suitors so as to not rob other women of the joy of doing so and waste the time of many a lord. 

 

VI. If a lady should refuse a dance with a lord, she must do so gracefully with her answer. Should she be engaged for the night, then it is polite to inquire when she may bestow the honour of a dance. On the contrary, if she cannot provide an excuse of fatigue, dizziness, or valid reasoning beyond distaste, then it is offensive of her character to waltz with another immediately after. Though, it should speak poorly on behalf of a lord if he is willing to compromise his self-respect to take offence.

 

VII. In the presence of a married lady, it is an enormous offence to the honour of her husband and their union should he be present and does not find it agreeable for his wife to be offered a dance.

 

---

 

EXPECTATIONS OF AN EVENING PARTY

 

I. While the events of an evening party are far more variable than a ball, the etiquette mentioned prior must still be adhered to should there be some form of reception with dance. As well, it is seen as impolite to fail to greet and recognize the guests to whom one is acquainted.

 

II. If one brings with them a guest unfamiliar to most, it is considerate to introduce them to those of status within the room. This puts the individual at ease and clears the room of any tension unfamiliarity entails.

 

III. Lords and ladies alike should be cautious of who they make acquaintances with, as there are many which are improper to make. While it is important to not come across as impolite, it is of greater value to not be caught with a person of scandal.

 

IV. A lady should be accompanied by a cavalier, relative, or some other companion when strolling through the site of an event to which she has been invited, as it speaks well to her status and virtue. Should she be found without escort in the company of a lord, scandal shall surely ensue.

 

V. One must always be mindful of both their tone and volume, as well as their temper. To converse using language better saved for the company of one’s family, namely vulgarity and colloquialisms, shall cast the speaker in a boorish light.

 

VI. Towards the end of an evening party, it is unnecessary to offer farewells to the host. It is best to leave without disrupting the attendance of others and to afford pleasantries at a later date.

 

---

 

COURTLY MANNERS

 

As the nobility are distinguished through blood, so too must they be in mannerisms. To fail to do so is to insult their lineage, their kingdom, and their subjects. It is imperative that the nobility both carry and dress themselves appropriately. This entails intricate knowledge of the function of the Haeseni courts, as well as current fashion, for to be dressed poorly when not sworn to poverty, on pilgrimage, or on a more secular voyage, is most distasteful. 

 

EXPECTATIONS OBSERVED IN THE COURTS

 

I. SEATING ARRANGEMENTS

While in a session of court or any other affair within the throneroom, there are rules that must be obeyed for the royals, nobility, peasantry, and soldiers. Special occasions may forgo these rules, but only those explicitly defined.

 

a) Only a small group is permitted to stand upon the dais under normal circumstances. The reigning monarch is to sit or stand centre stage, with their consort left of them. Should the Palatine be present, they are to stand on the opposite side of the monarch, similarly to the Grand Prince.

 

b) Crow Knights and other Aulic Councillors may not stand on the dais alongside the aforementioned individuals. Though there are differences noted in these positions, as Aulic Councillors have no required position to take, whereas Crow Knights should stand in an orderly formation below the dais or throughout the throne room.

 

c) Marian Knights have express permission to stand on the dais, and are even encouraged to so that they might carry out their charged care of the royal family.

 

d) Those who are constituted as a prince or princess by law are entitled to sit within the royal seating. This does not include all born into the Bihar line, but it does permit spouses that married into a royal title.

 

e) Noble houses should preferably sit within their own groupings. While not mandatory, it is more conventional for general observation or when the monarch must be able to readily call upon an individual.

 

f) Within the season of a Lifstala, the Queen and her Grand Lady are permitted to make full use of the dais.

 

---

 

II. APPROPRIATE ATTIRE

It is of paramount value that the fashions of court be followed to the clear definitions provided by the “Moda i ve Kort” publishings. Haense is, and forever will be, a refined nation that acts in accordance with their spoken intelligence to physical dress. The uniformity of fashion brandishes the intellect which Lady Haense and Mother Ruska possess, and those who fall under.

 

a) When in attendance of a formal affair, such as a session of court, a feast, or a ball, those of high station should dress appropriately and adorn themselves with kokoshniks or other headwear, gold, floral embroidery, and brightly pigmented dyes.

 

b) Informal events, which may include garden parties and tournaments, should have those in attendance dressed with loosely fitted clothes with few buttons and darker fabrics. It should be seen as important to dress oneself as a Haeseni would, rather than of another nation which would reflect poorly on the education of a house.

 

c) Only those of royal blood should adorn a tiara, circlet, or crown. To wear one without noting the proper occasions to otherwise would be to insult the Barbanov line, with the offender all but declaring their own legitimacy to the throne of Haense. Similarly, sashes should only be worn by the royal family, debutantes, and brides.

 

d) Heirlooms in noble houses are granted permission to be worn in special circumstances, which include weddings, or in the presentation and closing event of a Lifstala. These items might be as simple as a necklace or as intricate as a tiara.

 

e) If a woman chooses to cover her hair once she is wed, then she should avoid a piece that is long and white, as they are reserved for royals and weddings.

 

f) When wearing an outfit with colours, it is important to note the symbolism behind them to avoid confusion in the courts. Red can vary in meaning in particular, expressing either fidelity in marriage or desire to court, whereas gold is a dye that is reserved for those of royal status.

 

---

 

III. APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOUR

In every man or woman of Haense is the pride and honour of their nation, which they shall hold above all else. It is expected of all to carry themselves with said honour, and to exemplify the values of their people through their behaviour, lest their character be tarnished.

 

a) Introductions to those of noble or royal birth should always remain formal, with their full title used in all public and formal instances, or upon first meeting. It is appropriate to shorten gestures and honorifics for practical usage otherwise. Deliberate misuse of addressments should be expected to lead to detrimental outcomes.

 

b) Those of high station must always carry themselves with respect and never act out of turn, be it through unsavoury words or scandalous behaviour. It is an embarrassment to both themselves and their houses, especially so when those they dishonour are more accomplished or pure of heart.

 

c) To speak poorly of a person holding titles more prestigious than one’s own, and especially those of royalty, is to insult them gravely. By refusing to grant to them the respect they are owed, an insulter implies the insulted is undeserving of their title and the reverence it entails. It is in poor taste to insult those below one’s status as well, for they have not the opportunities of their betters and may yet be of pure heart and mind.

 

d) Unprovoked and unjustifiable acts of violence between those of high station should always be ill-regarded. This might be ignored if it is a formal dispute in a duel for someone’s honour, where a noble may only initiate violence to their equal.

 

e) During presentations and speeches, especially those spoken during a royal court, attendees should never raise their voices above a quiet murmur. To do so is a grave insult to whomever is speaking, and shall more often than not result in the removal of the individual from the venue.

 

---

 

TABLE MANNERS

 

Whereas punctuality and courtesy are paramount at every social gathering, one must not neglect their posture and dining etiquette when partaking in a feast, or a simple tea setting. It would be foolish to assume it appropriate to seat oneself wherever they wish at a table, or think an informal event to be truly free of formality. 

 

EXPECTATIONS OF A FEAST

 

I. It is ideal that, in the circumstances of the host being of title, they are seated upon a raised dais with their consort seated to the left, and heir to the right. Should their holding not have adequate space for a dais, or if the host is not a peer, then they should assume the head of the table, with their spouse and eldest child closely following the aforementioned positions. As well should the consort or spouse of the head, in the instance that they are a woman, have a female relation sit on her side of the table to display her favour. Other guests of honour should sit on the head’s side of the table.

 

II. Prayer must always be observed before the eating of food at a formal dinner, preferably spoken by the host’s resident clergy member. Eating before this is to flaunt one’s own faithlessness and invites malicious beings into the home of the host. Once the prayer has concluded, guests are to wait until the host takes the first bite before they begin to dine themselves. 

 

III. A host who strives for excellence will serve no less than three courses throughout a feast, and each of said courses must adequately reflect the status of their guests. Should a lord be entertaining royalty, they are to serve multiple courses with expensive ingredients, prepared by only the most skillful of chefs. For a guest holding only baronial titles, the feast need not exceed the minimum of three courses. The food itself may also be rather simple, devoid of foreign ingredients, and prepared by the lord’s servantry. Regardless of the stature of the guests, all dishes should ideally reflect the culture of the host in some way or another.

 

IV. As a feast is not a casual affair, the host or head of the house should offer a few words to begin the evening. Keeping in line with such formality, guests should come bearing gifts to be presented to the host upon the conclusion of his speech.

 

V. An unwed woman should always remain seated between eligible men to increase her chances of marriage, though only in the case that the parties are of the age of majority. In contrast, it is a bad omen for a pregnant woman to be seated between either an eligible or married man that is not her spouse.

 

VI. Unmarried women partaking in a feast should not do more than drink in front of men with whom they do not share relation through blood or marriage. Should the head of their house hold the highest title among the other guests, however, a woman may eat her fill while those of lower nobility are permitted only to waft.

 

---

 

EXPECTATIONS OF A GARDEN PARTY

 

I. The formality of a garden party varies greatly from that of feasts, balls, and evening parties. While women should still be mindful of the men they share company with, it is acceptable to share a refreshment with men with whom they do not share relation through blood or marriage.

 

II. It would be inappropriate of a guest to not properly partake in the drinks and platters they are presented with by their host without valid reason.

 

III. Lords and ladies in attendance should invite one another to promenade if the host has permitted such movement around their gardens. This is not to suggest that it is appropriate to be entirely secluded from the eyes of other guests, as it could indicate scandalous behaviour.

 

---

 

IV JOVEO MAAN

 

Her Royal Majesty, AMADEA OF SUSA, Queen-Consort of Hanseti and Ruska, Princess-Consort of Bihar, Dules, Lahy, Muldav, Solvesborg, Slesvik and Ulgaard, Duchess-Consort of Carnatia and Vanaheim, Margravine-Consort of Korstadt, Rothswald and Vasiland, Countess-Consort of Alban, Alimar, Baranya, Graiswald, Karikhov, Karovia, Kaunas, Kavat, Kovachgrad, Kvasz, Markev, Nenzing, Torun, and Toruv, Viscountess-Consort of Varna, Baroness-Consort of Esenstadt, Kraken’s Watch, Kralta, Krepost, Lorentz, Rytsburg, Thurant, Venzia and Astfield, Lady of the Westfolk, Protector of the Highlanders, etcetera. 

 

Her Excellency, Georgina Sofiya Barclay, Grand Lady of Hanseti-Ruska, Princess of Sutica, Duchess-Consort of Reinmar, Margravine-Consort of Vanderfell, Countess-Consort of Freimark and Kretzen, Baroness-Consort of Madvon, Freising and Sigradz, Lady of Erwinsburg, Wilheburg and Freisburg

 

Her Ladyship, Nikoleta Barbara Morovar, Mistress of the Wardrobe

Edited May 30, 2022 by The Nikirala Court